What do you get... (Full Version)

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HypnoticDan -> What do you get... (10/1/2008 11:07:46 PM)

What do you get when you cross a polar bear and a seal?

A polar bear.




Arpig -> RE: What do you get... (10/1/2008 11:14:54 PM)

[:D][:D]




aphy -> RE: What do you get... (10/30/2008 5:06:17 PM)

My 9 year old son asked me "Mom, what do you get when you cross a ghost and bees?" I said "I don't know what?" His reply.... "Boo-Bees"
I about died.




GreedyTop -> RE: What do you get... (10/30/2008 5:22:50 PM)

lol both of those are great :D




jodie1961 -> RE: What do you get... (10/30/2008 9:50:56 PM)

Very funny !!   I needed some good humor.
All of you......Need to come here more often.
First chance I got into the forums. I'm new btw. Nice to meet you all !![:D][:D]




GreedyTop -> RE: What do you get... (10/31/2008 12:04:56 AM)

Hi Jodie!! welcome! 




Saratov -> RE: What do you get... (10/31/2008 8:55:04 AM)

jodie, since you are new and may not have read the many warnings posted throughout the forum: Do NOT drink while reading the humor threads!!  It is unhealthy for your computer screen. [:D]




persephonee -> RE: What do you get... (10/31/2008 9:01:38 AM)

and carbonated beverages really sting so unless youre a masochist, you should totally avoid any drinks at all.




SteelofUtah -> RE: What do you get... (10/31/2008 9:23:52 AM)

What do you get when you Cross....

WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A PORT WITH FROSTED FLAKES?
I don’t know, but it’s serial
WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A DANCE WITH A LEMON?
sour balls
WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A DANCE WITH A CHEETAH?
fastball
WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A POPPY WITH ELECTRICITY?
flower power
WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS AN ALIEN WITH A CHICKEN?
eggs-traterrestrial
WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A SERIOUS THIEF WITH A WET JACKET?
grave robber with raincoat

And Other Graoners:





How can you get four suits for a dollar?
Buy a deck of cards.
How do dinosaurs pay their bills?
With Tyrannosaurus checks.

What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?
Tyrannosaurus wrecks.

What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?
Tyrannosaurus Tex.
How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?
They had reservations.
How do you make a hot dog stand?
Steal its chair.
How do you make an egg laugh?
Tell it a yolk.
How do you prevent a Summer cold?
Catch it in the Winter!
How does a pig go to hospital?
In a hambulance.
If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?
Silverware.
What bird can lift the most?
A crane.
What bone will a dog never eat?
A trombone.
What can you hold without ever touching it?
A conversation.
What clothes does a house wear?
Address.
What country makes you shiver?
Chile.
What did one elevator say to the other?
I think I'm coming down with something!
What did one magnet say to the other?
I find you very attractive.
What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?
Her New Jersey.
What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?
It's time to go to sweep.
What did the necktie say to the hat?
You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
What did the rug say to the floor?
Don't move, I've got you covered.
What do bees do with their honey?
They cell it.
What do you call a calf after it's six months old?
Seven months old.
What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?
Dead.
Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?
His powder puff is on the wrong end.
Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?
She ran away from the ball.
Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?
She couldn't control her pupils.

What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.
What do you call a song sung in an automobile?
A cartoon.
What do you call the best butter on the farm?
A goat.
What do you do when your chair breaks?
Call a chairman.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer!
What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia!
What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?
Bugs Bunny.
What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?
Wet feet.
What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?
A rash of good luck.
What happens when frogs park illegally?
They get toad.
What has 6 eyes but can't see?
3 blind mice.
What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?
A piano.
What has one horn and gives milk?
A milk truck.
What is a tree's favorite drink?
Root beer.
What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?
Sleep somewhere else.
What kind of cats like to go bowling?
Alley cats.
What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?
Deviled eggs.
What kind of ties can't you wear?
Railroad ties.
What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?
A dead centipede.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?
An in-car-nation.
What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?
The Presidential Seal.
What's green and loud?
A froghorn.
What's round and bad-tempered?
A vicious circle.
Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?
He took them to a pignic.
Where do fortune tellers dance?
At the crystal ball.
Why did the doughnut shop close?
The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!




BlackPhx -> RE: What do you get... (10/31/2008 4:56:02 PM)

[:D][:D][:D][:D][:D]
Welcome aboard Jodi..watch out for low flying jokes and stray soda/coffee sprays.

poenkitten




darchChylde -> RE: What do you get... (10/31/2008 7:09:19 PM)

Welcome Jodie, and since no one else mentioned it.  Another good piece of advice here is to put breast pictures in your profile, lots and lots of pics of your breasts.  It will really up your C-mail count, trust me I found out the hard way.  Just saying.




MarksFantasyGirl -> RE: What do you get... (11/2/2008 7:03:10 PM)

First, Loved all the jokes... I'm a sucker for lame jokes (Hence, my last 3 boyfriends!  Bum-bum-chhhh!! {My best drum inpersonation})

Second, Hi Jodie!

Third.. I'mma Have to put bew-bie pics up.. That must be why I don't get any mail....

And 4th, I was reading the long list of jokes, and thought of the best dinosaur joke EVER! 
What do you call a girl dinosaur that likes other girl Dinosaurs??     A licalottapuss..... (Lick-a-lot-a-puss)
Yeah.. I told my homophobic mother that "If I was I dinosaur... Do you know what I would be????  A Licalottapuss!!!  She almost threw up, and had to leave the room! My friend and I were laughing so hard, we almost fell out of our chairs!!!  HAHAHA!




MarksFantasyGirl -> RE: What do you get... (11/3/2008 6:27:36 PM)

What's the differance between a porcupine and a luxury car?? 



With a porcupine, the picks are usually on the OUTSIDE!!!!!!

{Sweets just told me that one! HAHA!}




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