RE: journaling for your own good

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LPslittleclip -> RE: journaling for your own good (10/2/2008 7:49:18 PM)
my M'Lady asked me to journal as well. She noted that i did not say how i feel. so i have to state how I'm feeling.for you it may need a similar nudge on the intimacy thing. try writing and reading it later to see if reveals more of you or just a detail of what happened to you.

Quivver -> RE: journalling for your own good (10/2/2008 9:53:53 PM)
Although I have nothing productive to add Persephonee I need to thank you for bringing up this topic. Over the years I journaled occasionally and your post got me to go search out old thoughts. It's been an interesting read to compare where I've been, and where I'm at now, what issues have changed and what has not. Thank You

persephonee -> RE: journalling for your own good (10/3/2008 3:31:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Quivver Although I have nothing productive to add Persephonee I need to thank you for bringing up this topic. Over the years I journaled occasionally and your post got me to go search out old thoughts. It's been an interesting read to compare where I've been, and where I'm at now, what issues have changed and what has not. Thank You Do you find your old journals helpful or convoluted and confusing? i have journalled for very short periods and then stopped...then found them later and been embarrassed...or found myself to be completely confused back then yadayada...and tossed them...i know i know...thats bad...but what was your opinion of what you hd expressed in those earlier entries?

GabrielleSlave -> RE: journalling for your own good (10/3/2008 3:48:14 AM)
i have been told to put experiences down in my diary on here. At first it was really hard, this place is public and anyone can read what i write. i do it on an as and when kind of basis, so as i complete a task for example, the task is not finished until i have written it up on here... It is not til now that i have realised that i have been journalling without knowing! Yesterday i had a message from a Dom who reads my diary entries and He asked a question on something i said in April. It made me realise how far i have come since then, in my attitudes and perceptions of how i serve my Master. To have someone else make a comment like that was amazing and helped me no end. Journalling in public is not for everyone, i grant you that, but if you are brave enough, it can be a hugely enlightening thing. Gabrielle x

DesFIP -> RE: journalling for your own good (10/3/2008 4:28:09 AM)
If wit is your natural style, then trying to write in an artificial style certainly isn't going to work. Plus you can be both witty and intimate. I can look at my son and be overwhelmed with feelings of love and tell him that, followed by glancing at his hair and telling him he looks like a bird has been nesting in it. It's okay to be witty, and it's okay to be intimate.

mangle -> RE: journalling for your own good (10/3/2008 4:37:24 AM)
I started keeping my own journal after my last relationship went sour; mainly because I wanted to know WHY the relationship went sour. Like you stated, I tend to deflect anything of an intimate or emotional sense by being witty, or making jokes. This had been pointed out to me numerous times by my ex; but instead of trying to understand what he was saying, I would make jokes about it and lay the blame somewhere else. Once I started writing down everything, it was easy to find the pattern in my behavior. Now, I can look at what I write, understand a bit more, and try to change it. It has not been easy, but I am working on it. Just sit down one day and start to write. What you write does not even have to make sense at first; as long as you write something about yourself and what you are feeling at that exact moment. My first journal entry said something like ‘I feel like an idiot doing this’. Seeing that written made me stop and ask myself WHY I felt like an idiot. Everyday, commit to writing something; it does not matter what it is….just make that commitment. Once you do, it will get easier to put into words your feelings and thoughts.

Quivver -> RE: journalling for your own good (10/3/2008 6:07:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: persephonee Do you find your old journals helpful or convoluted and confusing? i have journalled for very short periods and then stopped...then found them later and been embarrassed...or found myself to be completely confused back then yadayada...and tossed them...i know i know...thats bad...but what was your opinion of what you hd expressed in those earlier entries? Oh they were far from convoluted, they were filled with retrospection of a painful time. The only embarrassment was that in my effort to heal by using that method they were published and slightly abused, which I could have done without. But, the abuse actually made me stronger in the long run. It was clear to me that I had to be accountable to ME. Looking back as I did when your post prompted me to look was like a review. I was able to self critique my own progress, and note what still needed work. Sadly to say that some of the baggage created in that time my never get unpacked fully but seeing it in the light of a new day has me working on new ways to deal with it.

persephonee -> RE: journalling for your own good (10/3/2008 6:13:08 AM)
~FR~ Okay i brushed the dust off my journal and started...and so far...day 2 im on fire!! i think i just needed some support and lo and behold...found it here. Go figure! i really am going to do this this time. Mostly because this year out of my life has been the most transitional since i started my family. im all over the place and growing and changing in ways i never knew i ever would. At the risk of becoming maudlin here, the person i will be next year, will resemble the person i was in 2007...only in eye color and more than likely weight...altho youd be amazed at how much weight youll lose just playing all the time. Maybe ill create a masochists guide to weightloss and end up on Oprah. Now thatd be sooo cool.[:D] Thank you everyone for your comments and support. i think youre awesome! perse (ya prolly cant recognise me without all the bruises...but im still me)

Twicehappy2x -> RE: journalling for your own good (10/3/2008 7:13:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar If you can write in here then you can write anywhere. Twice do those jammies have a trap door in them. Actually i have flannel nightgowns handmade by Jewel so no trap door needed.

oceanwynds -> RE: journalling for your own good (10/3/2008 7:27:43 AM)
I been journaling for many years. My counselor suggested it to help me claim what i was feeling. At that time, i found it difficult owning up to my feelings, or even permitting myself to feel. I have kept my journals and do read them from time time. Personally, i feel a sense of accomplishment when i see how far i have come. I journal daily in different areas. Also kept a journal during the time that my husband was put into hospice and after he died. I also journal my dreams and goals. Journaling is my friend, my heart gets poured out in it. All the tears and the happiness are revealed in my journals. Keep with it, take small steps at first. Best of luck with it. oceanwynds

persephonee -> RE: journalling for your own good (10/3/2008 7:38:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Quivver quote: ORIGINAL: persephonee Do you find your old journals helpful or convoluted and confusing? i have journalled for very short periods and then stopped...then found them later and been embarrassed...or found myself to be completely confused back then yadayada...and tossed them...i know i know...thats bad...but what was your opinion of what you hd expressed in those earlier entries? Oh they were far from convoluted, they were filled with retrospection of a painful time. The only embarrassment was that in my effort to heal by using that method they were published and slightly abused, which I could have done without. But, the abuse actually made me stronger in the long run. It was clear to me that I had to be accountable to ME. Looking back as I did when your post prompted me to look was like a review. I was able to self critique my own progress, and note what still needed work. Sadly to say that some of the baggage created in that time my never get unpacked fully but seeing it in the light of a new day has me working on new ways to deal with it. ACK!!!!....your journal was published????? Oh dear me...slams her journal shut and places it in the freezer like Joey did when he was disturbed by the Shining. (Friends reference...im lame like that sometimes.)

chamberqueen -> RE: journalling for your own good (10/3/2008 7:46:22 AM)
I keep different types of journals. My only handwritten one I named the Kindness Book. I found it was easy for me to remember insults but harder to remember the nice things that people have said and done for me. I started writing them down, and if I feel blue I pull out my Kindness Book. Since I have been with my Master (almost a year) almost all of the entries are about things He has said and done. It is a wonderful way of looking back at the happiest moments of our relationship. I journal on the computer when I am feeling frustrated. I know that no one will ever read it so I can feel free to say whatever I want. I don't have to watch my spelling and grammar if I don't want to; I can be as bitchy as I want and know that I will hurt no one's feelings. It is a good release, and when I am done I often simply delete the file because I have worked through whatever my problem was. I had a different type of journal a few years back. I had some emotional roadblocks, and had read a book by Dr. Phil. He suggested things in fives. Choose five lifechanging moments, one at a time, and sit down and write every emotion you had about that one set of circumstances and how it changed you and how it made you feel. I was able to work out my emotions on some of the most painful moments of my life and finally say goodbye to the pain. I remember the incidents, but they no longer have a hold on me. If the journal is just for you, see it as a catharsis. If you get angry when it takes the neighbor two full minutes to back his diesel truck into spot next door and you hate the sound of a diesel, write it down. (Ok, MY pet peeve - LOL) You can write down if you are having a bad hair day or if you woke up smiling. Sometimes the emotional breakthroughs will come with tears and anger, but if that is your reason for the journal just know it is part of the healing process. If you feel too touchy one day when you start writing - just leave the paragraph and see if you want to finish it the next day. There is no right and wrong about it; just something to make you feel better.

VivaciousSub -> RE: journalling for your own good (10/3/2008 9:38:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chamberqueen If the journal is just for you, see it as a catharsis. If you get angry when it takes the neighbor two full minutes to back his diesel truck into spot next door and you hate the sound of a diesel, write it down. (Ok, MY pet peeve - LOL) You can write down if you are having a bad hair day or if you woke up smiling. Sometimes the emotional breakthroughs will come with tears and anger, but if that is your reason for the journal just know it is part of the healing process. If you feel too touchy one day when you start writing - just leave the paragraph and see if you want to finish it the next day. There is no right and wrong about it; just something to make you feel better. I've journaled off and on for a long time now and it's been a) difficult and b) extraordinarily helpful, when I've needed it. It was a catharsis. The last time I did serious introspective journaling was right after I got out of the psych hospital this past holiday season and it sure involved tears and anger, but I finally was able to let go of the "past me" with her hurts and hopes and dreams for the future and rebuild me from the ground up. It was a transformative experience and I felt cleansed and reborn after that. I very much agree with the advice of, if you start writing and get touchy, leave it if you feel as if you can't continue and revisit it later. When writing, I've often hit nerves I didn't know I had and occasionally needed time away from the writing to start processing my thoughts.

akisha -> RE: journalling for your own good (10/3/2008 10:33:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: persephonee i recently tried to start a journal on my own...i know i have intimacy issues and i thought it would be a good idea to at least work on journalling now so that in the future i wont be so reticent to share my thoughts with another. i say "tried" because, even tho i know full well that this is my own journal and that no one is going to read it, i am having such a physical response to it...as in, i physically feel tense and kind of tight when i even look at it...and its such a cute lil journal...found it on a sale table at Borders. i assume no one out there is as neurotic as i am, so ill pose this question... Is there something i can do to make journalling easier to do emotionally?...i was thinking of just picking a topic and make it like a blog, but i find that i just get into the cadence of being witty (trying to entertain) which is one of the ways i deflect intimacy in my relationships...and this is all just me in my jammies trying to write a paragraph or two in a blank journal. (and i know im only witty to myself...no need to let me know that...[:D]) Any suggestions would be so appreciated. peace and pleather perse I haven't read the other replies yet but I asked my gf the same question just the other day. Master wants me to start journaling and i'm having issues. This is what she told me. Start writing about anything. Even just how the pretty fall colours make you feel or that you walked the dog today and it was windy. Once you start writing you will find things coming out easier and things will flow more naturally. Soon you will see that you are writing about importnat things as well. I can write fiction with no problem at all, but when i have to write about how I actually feel i get blocked cause I'm terrified that it will be taken the wrong way or that I'm misreading the situation or that Master will be upset about what I have written. But really those are the things he really needs to know to make sure our relationship is healthy and going the right direction.

Igot99Problems -> RE: journalling for your own good (10/4/2008 8:36:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VivaciousSub quote: ORIGINAL: chamberqueen If the journal is just for you, see it as a catharsis. If you get angry when it takes the neighbor two full minutes to back his diesel truck into spot next door and you hate the sound of a diesel, write it down. (Ok, MY pet peeve - LOL) You can write down if you are having a bad hair day or if you woke up smiling. Sometimes the emotional breakthroughs will come with tears and anger, but if that is your reason for the journal just know it is part of the healing process. If you feel too touchy one day when you start writing - just leave the paragraph and see if you want to finish it the next day. There is no right and wrong about it; just something to make you feel better. I've journaled off and on for a long time now and it's been a) difficult and b) extraordinarily helpful, when I've needed it. It was a catharsis. The last time I did serious introspective journaling was right after I got out of the psych hospital this past holiday season and it sure involved tears and anger, but I finally was able to let go of the "past me" with her hurts and hopes and dreams for the future and rebuild me from the ground up. It was a transformative experience and I felt cleansed and reborn after that. I very much agree with the advice of, if you start writing and get touchy, leave it if you feel as if you can't continue and revisit it later. When writing, I've often hit nerves I didn't know I had and occasionally needed time away from the writing to start processing my thoughts. I've kept a journal for over ten years. Its remarkable looking back at how much I've changed as a person. I don't remember when exactly, but there was a point where I started to read back over old journals, and I discovered I didn't like myself very much. I felt emasculated and whiny. From that point forward I started writing in my journal as different people. Detaching myself from life and the social political world around us as an "objective" observer. Over a few years my journal (by this point a "blog") became something quite unlike me. Am I better for it? I don't know...

colouredin -> RE: journalling for your own good (10/4/2008 8:39:32 AM)
fr Dont know if anyone has given this advice, but I tend to write mine to someone not for them to actually read but as though I am writing a letter (yup i totally stole the idea) but it gives me a sense of structure rather than just writing a random bunch of rubbish also it gives a bit of distance making it easier.

Igot99Problems -> RE: journalling for your own good (10/4/2008 5:43:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: colouredin fr Dont know if anyone has given this advice, but I tend to write mine to someone not for them to actually read but as though I am writing a letter (yup i totally stole the idea) but it gives me a sense of structure rather than just writing a random bunch of rubbish also it gives a bit of distance making it easier. Thats interesting. I've been writing eulogies to people for years. I find it cathartic to put words to their best qualities, those I most respect and wish I could incorporate into my own life. I've always found it emotionally draining, but rewarding afterwards.

VivaciousSub -> RE: journalling for your own good (10/4/2008 6:45:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: colouredin fr Dont know if anyone has given this advice, but I tend to write mine to someone not for them to actually read but as though I am writing a letter (yup i totally stole the idea) but it gives me a sense of structure rather than just writing a random bunch of rubbish also it gives a bit of distance making it easier. Colouredin, it's interesting that you write about giving it distance. It reminds me of one of my favorite Chinese proverbs - I'm not sure why, exactly - but the proverb says, "to tame a beast you must first make it beautiful". When I write, I do so to try to see all sides of the situation and I can only do that by giving it distance. Once I give it distance, I can examine it out of the context of myself, and find the beauty in it. Once I find the beauty in it, it either becomes more precious to me - if it was a good situation to start with - or less dangerous - if it has beauty, then it is not all doom-and-gloom and thus the end of the world.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: journalling for your own good (10/5/2008 10:19:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chamberqueen I keep different types of journals. My only handwritten one I named the Kindness Book. I found it was easy for me to remember insults but harder to remember the nice things that people have said and done for me. I started writing them down, and if I feel blue I pull out my Kindness Book. chamberqueen, I just found this post. I also have a tendency to remember the negative and not the positive. I LOVE this idea and am going to start putting a Kindness Book type tag in my LJ. Thank you for such a wonderful idea! Master Fire

babygurlrides -> RE: journalling for your own good (10/5/2008 11:00:28 PM)
I also journal, but sporadically. When I first started, many many years ago, I was petrified that someone would find it and read it. I had some deep rooted resentments that I needed to work out, and to have my family read this would have been disasterous. And since nothing seemed to be sacred in my household, I resorted to getting a locked box to place my journal in. Years later, I became computer literate, and now, I do everything on here. My journal has a password, so it can only be opened and viewed by me. Someone told me once that with respect to journalling, it is actually more therapeutic to write your thoughts, as opposed to type them. Apparently, it has something to do with the physiological mechanism of taking the thought, and transforming into words through action of writing. Has anyone else heard this? [sm=confused.gif]

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