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Girlie wisdom ......... apparently! - 10/4/2008 3:36:46 AM   
missturbation


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As sent to me by a friend

Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them.

A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills... she has 14 kids but doesn't really care.
 


One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs.


My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.


The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.


The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.


Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.


Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.


I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my knicker's.


Amazing!  You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrin ks 2 sizes!

Skinny people irritate me!  Especially when they say things like...'You know sometimes I forget to eat!' ......Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat.  You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.


I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding?  That's my idea of a perfect day!


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If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!
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RE: Girlie wisdom ......... apparently! - 10/4/2008 3:40:59 AM   
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RE: Girlie wisdom ......... apparently! - 10/4/2008 3:42:31 AM   
sirsholly


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love it!!

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RE: Girlie wisdom ......... apparently! - 10/4/2008 4:43:17 AM   
GreedyTop


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*applauds*

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RE: Girlie wisdom ......... apparently! - 10/4/2008 4:43:42 AM   
missturbation


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My fave by far
 
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.

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What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

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RE: Girlie wisdom ......... apparently! - 10/4/2008 6:09:36 AM   
favesclava


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hmmm  i also forget my keys, forget what i walk into a room for, forget how old my grandkids are but never ever have i forgotten to eat. i guess i cant even be special kind of stupid. failed again.

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RE: Girlie wisdom ......... apparently! - 10/4/2008 6:15:11 AM   
sirsholly


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quote:

ORIGINAL: favesclava

hmmm  i also forget my keys, forget what i walk into a room for, forget how old my grandkids are but never ever have i forgotten to eat. i guess i cant even be special kind of stupid. failed again.


i forget all the time. I have actually started to tote meal bars around with me to prevent the "sum-bitch...knew i forgot something" drop in the ol blood sugar.

But...i guess if you are going to be stupid, a SPECIAL kind of stupid is better than the normal, run-of-the-mill idiot type.


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RE: Girlie wisdom ......... apparently! - 10/4/2008 7:43:31 AM   
SavageFaerie


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Well I will be 50 next July (okay had to backspace 3 times to get the right month) and I have a major case of cant remember shit, from conversations to buying something and leaving either my wallet, bank card or items I bought on the counter and walking off, to be yelled at hey you forgot something. Never lost a kid yet tho. If something is time sensistive chances are I remember to late or just in time to rush it out, but that usually because someone had to remind me. I forget to put on shoes and take off the ballet type slippers I wear around and sometimes if its a quick errand I dont bother going back.  Half my stuff is lost even when its just where I put it. I forget to look up at intersections when going for a errand, arent walking lights supposed to turn to walk when I get close? Im generally looking down.

I guess Im also one of those special stupid ones.   YAY Im finally special after all these years.
I forget to eat all the time, and my tummy doesnt tell me HEY your forgetting me. There are many day I dont eat anything, I just forget, or I think about it and get sidetracked and forget again.  but I have been like this since a teen. Its still not stopping that menopause spread in my hips and tummy LOL

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RE: Girlie wisdom ......... apparently! - 10/4/2008 7:58:31 AM   
MadAxeman


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This is an email sent to me by a friend, she's 51.


A.A.A.D.D. Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. -
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests itself: I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the drive,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. As I start toward the garage,
I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the letterbox earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys on the table,
put the junk mail in the rubbish bin under the table,
and I notice that the bin is full. So, I decide to put the bills back
on the table and take out the rubbish first. But then I think,
since I'm going to be near the letterbox
when I take out the rubbish anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first. I take my cheque book off the table,
and see that there is only one cheque left. My extra cheques are in my desk in the study,
so I go inside the house to my desk where
I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking. I'm going to look for my cheques,
but first I need to push the Coke aside
so that I don't accidentally knock it over. The Coke is getting warm,
and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke,
A vase of flowers on the counter
catches my eye--they need water. I put the Coke on the counter and
discover my reading glasses that
I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk,
but first I'm going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the counter,
fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
I'll be looking for the remote,
but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,
so I decide to put it back in the room where it belongs,
but first I'll water the flowers. I pour some water in the flowers,
but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back on the table,
get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall trying to
remember what I was planning to do. At the end of the day: The car isn't washed The bills aren't paid There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter The flowers don't have enough water, There is still only 1 cheque in my cheque book, I can't find the remote, I can't find my glasses, And I don't remember what I did with the car keys. Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all damn day,
And I'm really tired. I realize this is a serious problem,
and I'll try to get some help for it,
but first I'll check my e-mail.... Do me a favour.
Forward this message to everyone you know,
because I won't remember who the hell I've sent it to. Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!


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RE: Girlie wisdom ......... apparently! - 10/4/2008 8:07:52 AM   
osocurious


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Ohhh my gawwwwwd that made me laugh MadAxeman ... it's Sooooooo me!!!!!

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RE: Girlie wisdom ......... apparently! - 10/4/2008 8:32:03 AM   
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quote:

ORIGINAL: osocurious

Ohhh my gawwwwwd that made me laugh MadAxeman ... it's Sooooooo me!!!!!

This comes from the "I want to be perfect and productive today syndrome." You're so busy noticing everything that you do nothing.

Talk out loud and verbalize they tell us and some, not all...will get done. Most need someone to verbalize to...

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RE: Girlie wisdom ......... apparently! - 10/4/2008 9:39:31 AM   
osocurious


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrRodgers

quote:

ORIGINAL: osocurious

Ohhh my gawwwwwd that made me laugh MadAxeman ... it's Sooooooo me!!!!!

This comes from the "I want to be perfect and productive today syndrome." You're so busy noticing everything that you do nothing.



*cringes ... looking fearfully about the room for spirits*
...hurroooooooo??? .....
erm .... do we know each other  MrRodgers??? 
*worries*

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RE: Girlie wisdom ......... apparently! - 10/4/2008 10:09:14 AM   
soul2share


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What is freaking me out is that I'll need something, get up an walk acroos the room, and then can't remember what the heck I'm up for!!!!!!  I'm talking about walking a whole 6 feet!!!!!!

Honestly, sometimes I think I have the attention span of a gnat.......

I am living proof that you can lose what you never had.......

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I have to stop saying "How stupid can you be?"...people are starting to take it as a challenge!

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RE: Girlie wisdom ......... apparently! - 10/4/2008 10:15:01 AM   
sirsholly


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quote:

ORIGINAL: soul2share


I am living proof that you can lose what you never had.......


Ahh...So you never had a mind to begin with. Ahh....


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