RE: meeting someone from cm

RE: meeting someone from cm (Full Version)

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DefiantFlower -> RE: meeting someone from cm (10/5/2008 12:02:42 AM)
I've talked with someone for a few short weeks, met for dinner, and hit it off. We ended up out in the parking lot with a bunch of people not too far away, my hands handcuffed to my steering wheel, his hands around my throat, dabbling in some breath play. And to anyone watching, he was kissing me goodnight. [:D] Now, I wouldn't recommend doing that. You never know who you're dealing with. You have to go with your instincts about people. But you can at least affect the environment and circumstances. Like everyone has said, drive your own car, pick a public place, where it's not too loud but not so intimate that you can't speak freely. Outside at Starbucks (with a jacket!) works. They should pay us kinksters for all the money they get from our meetings!

kiwisub12 -> RE: meeting someone from cm (10/5/2008 6:45:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 quote: ORIGINAL: Igot99Problems Call it young and stupid, but years ago I met someone off a similar site like CM and ended up hog tied in a closet, hyperventilating with crop marks all over me aftering meeting a women who looked nothing like the photos she exchanged. This has nothing to do with meeting online, and everything to do with making poor decisions once you have met in real life. If she doesn't look anything like her pic, walk. She's untrustworthy. There's millions of kinky people in the world. The person who just demonstrated they are not safe to be around is not the last kinkster ever. Don't be so desperate that you stick around even though you're getting bigtime redflagged. I so agree - for every meeting we need to remember that there are always more kinky people out there, that this meeting isn't the last chance for us. If there is even a hint of a hinky feeling, prolong the meet-and-greet until you are sure, one way or the other. just because we are little fishies we don't need to dive on the hook! [:D]

silkenfire -> RE: meeting someone from cm (10/5/2008 6:49:24 AM)
I always thought I would be the responsible one -- you know, carefully meeting in a public place, etc etc... So after only a couple days of cm messages from Master and one hour of talking on Yahoo, I decided to come visit him because I really needed to make sure he was real and also I just needed to get out of my apartment. We had not even talked on the phone. I drove down to his apartment with the intention (80 miles away, mind you) of just coming over to rent a movie and then go home. I stayed for 2 days. He really was the nice person that is not scary though -- if thngs had not worked out between us, I don't believe anything scary would have happened, but I just had to go with my gut. I did have the sense to set up a security check -- to have DieSchadenfreude call me at a certain point to check in on me. She forgot, but it was a good idea I suppose... Master and I have been together for a little over a month now, and not seeing an end in sight.

littleone35 -> RE: meeting someone from cm (10/5/2008 12:42:31 PM)
I met my Master here on CM. It took 2 months because we talked for the first time about the middle of December then there were the holidays and in Januuary i was taking some classes in school. After i was all settled in school and we had talked every day by phone for those 2 months. We finally met we had an instant connection he was everything i though he would be and more. We met at a Stabucks inside because he liked that i had to lean in close to talk to him. We have been together close to 3 years now. To the OP i say meet, to be on the safe side i wuld say meet in a public place. Trust your instincts if it does not fel right walk away. Good luck. Matt's littleone

lilpetuk -> RE: meeting someone from cm (10/6/2008 12:25:09 AM)
hello..... again thankyou all for your advice and thoughts, the meeting will be going ahead in a public place, i will also be giving my number to a subby firnd i have known for a while, and he will call me to check all is well. I go into this with my eyes wide open, once the meet is done, i will update all those kind enough to respond via the forums...once more into the breech dear friends. hugsssssssss

Dnomyar -> RE: meeting someone from cm (10/6/2008 5:05:40 AM)
I have me CM'ers at McDonalds(that meeting was all over the chat room) to fishing excursions. I like doing something different. It all depends on how your talks are going with that person where to meet them. You never know how they will turn out. One meeting at a resturant was a huge disastor. The woman could not control her nervousness. One said no thanks and called me back the next day. She is one of my best friends now. Another met me at a resturant at 9am for breakfast. We sat there all day and closed the resturant. You never know.

lilpetuk -> RE: meeting someone from cm (10/8/2008 10:19:41 AM)
greetings one and all... As promised an update, today i met with the Dom in question, and things went wonderfully well, although very nervous He did all He could to put me at my ease, right now all is under consideration, with so much thanks to all who contributed their thoughts and advice. hugsssssssssss lilpet

Missokyst -> RE: meeting someone from cm (10/8/2008 11:16:29 AM)
I agree completely with this. Kyst quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP I'd do it as soon as possible. This way you don't build up false hopes if it turns out you don't have chemistry. Meet for coffee, if you enjoy it then walk around the mall together. .

akisha -> RE: meeting someone from cm (10/8/2008 1:37:29 PM)
~FR~ My first Dom from on here I met with in 3 weeks. That was the soonest our schedules would allow. He lived 6 hours away. My current Master it took us about 6 weeks to meet after we started talking in a serious way. Again he was 8 hours away and it takes planning. For the other people from here that I have met it was anywhere from 3 days to 3 months. You meet when ever you feel ready to take that step. edited cause i can't spell

YourhandMyAss -> RE: meeting someone from cm (10/8/2008 8:27:30 PM)
I personally think that's up to you to decide, and what a bunch of people on the internet would or wouldn't do isn't really relivant or likey to be extreamly helpful, since we're all diffrent and the level of risks we're all willing to take varys from person to person. Personally though I've met with in hours of talking, or days of talking or weeks of talking, It all depends on the person, the situation and I've gone home with people and had them to my home, and played with people on first dates, an all the things the saftey police say you should never do. and I have never once regreted it. i typically end up regretting when we drag it out for months and months and months though lol. and what I'd do in a heart beat wouldn't be something I'd recomend willynilly to others, because for me it's an acceptible risk, but to others I don't know what your acceptible risks are. quote: ORIGINAL: lilpetuk hello all... I have been talking to a most wonderful Man and Dom on collar me for a few weeks, we seem to get on very well and have an awful lot of things in common, both vanilla and D/s..now after a bad experience a long time ago i turned my back on the lifestyle, i'm back and will stay. Now to my point...i tend to waffle lol. Inevitably we are to meet, He is very local to me...so some comments on how long do you think you should chat online or over the phone before meeting..all comments, advice welcome. The first meeting will be for coffee in a public place, then we both agreed vanilla dating for a while..see how things progress. hugssssssssssssss

ladyacquiesce -> RE: meeting someone from cm (10/22/2008 11:13:50 AM)
Take things as they come and dont forget to not get lost in the moment and keep your head on straight and be aware! I wish you 2 lots of luck and happiness! ~ladyacquiesce~

Maya2001 -> RE: meeting someone from cm (10/22/2008 5:15:12 PM)
I am glad your meet went successfully, I prefer to meet anyone local within a couple of weeks in public and with no plan of playing ..so I know I am not just wasting time... long distance can be more difficult especially with work schedules..arranging flights/motels/pet service whatever and plus the costs involved of doing a meet so I am much more agreeable to taking more time online and thru phone calls getting to know each other first and even then meet is in a public place with no commitment to play until I feel comfortable with the person in real time

KatyLied -> RE: meeting someone from cm (10/22/2008 6:37:52 PM)
You also need to have code language, to avoid the awful "wow, what a disappointment, I'm not interested" conversation. I recommend the following: I'd rather not.

ExKat -> RE: meeting someone from cm (10/22/2008 8:06:14 PM)
I suggest meeting as soon as you've ascertained that he isn't a serial killer or something. You learn a lot more about someone in person than you can online. Online chemistry doesn't always translate to real-life chemistry. Since you're set on vanilla dating first, you've got relatively little at risk. Go for it!

ladyacquiesce -> RE: meeting someone from cm (10/23/2008 8:45:29 PM)
Glad your meeting went well! :) I just was here to meet like minded people and I happened to meet someone, that was not my intention...we have met and have seen each other several times and things are going well :) funny how life has a way of doing things...He lives close, so that makes it a little easier, but any distance is hard. ~ladyacquiesce~

Flogmaster -> RE: meeting someone from cm (10/23/2008 8:55:33 PM)
It's really about how comfotable you feel, and how honest you've both been to each other that dictates the speed to which you go forward, it's not fullproof by no means, I've had stong feeling for a little girl through e-mails, felt comfortable within a few days and we start talking on the phone, felt comfortable within a few more and met...started seeing each other in person building on each other then that's when it unraveled...but that happens when theres a wide age difference...and outside issues...just communicate, ask questions, but be comfortable in your decessions

CatdeMedici -> RE: meeting someone from cm (10/23/2008 9:03:33 PM)
This isn't rocket science, use your head and your common sense--the same rules apply as would apply were this a vanilla blind date. Keep your wits about you.

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