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RE: meeting someone from cm - 10/5/2008 12:02:42 AM   
DefiantFlower


Posts: 204
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		I've talked with someone for a few short weeks, met for dinner, and hit it off. We ended up out in the parking lot with a bunch of people not too far away, my hands handcuffed to my steering wheel, his hands around my throat, dabbling in some breath play. And to anyone watching, he was kissing me goodnight.

Now, I wouldn't recommend doing that. You never know who you're dealing with. You have to go with your instincts about people. But you can at least affect the environment and circumstances. Like everyone has said, drive your own car, pick a public place, where it's not too loud but not so intimate that you can't speak freely. Outside at Starbucks (with a jacket!) works. They should pay us kinksters for all the money they get from our meetings!

(in reply to lilpetuk)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: meeting someone from cm - 10/5/2008 6:45:44 AM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: Igot99Problems
Call it young and stupid, but years ago I met someone off a similar site like CM and ended up hog tied in a closet, hyperventilating with crop marks all over me aftering meeting a women who looked nothing like the photos she exchanged. 

This has nothing to do with meeting online, and everything to do with making poor decisions once you have met in real life.  If she doesn't look anything like her pic, walk.  She's untrustworthy.  There's millions of kinky people in the world.  The person who just demonstrated they are not safe to be around is not the last kinkster ever.  Don't be so desperate that you stick around even though you're getting bigtime redflagged.




I so agree - for every meeting we need to remember that there are always more kinky people out there, that this meeting isn't the last chance for us. If there is even a hint of a hinky feeling, prolong the meet-and-greet until you are sure, one way or the other.
just because we are little fishies we don't need to dive on the hook!

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: meeting someone from cm - 10/5/2008 6:49:24 AM   
silkenfire


Posts: 130
Joined: 9/27/2007
Status: offline 		I always thought I would be the responsible one -- you know, carefully meeting in a public place, etc etc...

So after only a couple days of cm messages from Master and one hour of talking on Yahoo, I decided to come visit him because I really needed to make sure he was real and also I just needed to get out of my apartment. We had not even talked on the phone. I drove down to his apartment with the intention (80 miles away, mind you) of just coming over to rent a movie and then go home. I stayed for 2 days.

He really was the nice person that is not scary though -- if thngs had not worked out between us, I don't believe anything scary would have happened, but I just had to go with my gut.

I did have the sense to set up a security check -- to have DieSchadenfreude call me at a certain point to check in on me. She forgot, but it was a good idea I suppose...

Master and I have been together for a little over a month now, and not seeing an end in sight.

(in reply to bentonmaster)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: meeting someone from cm - 10/5/2008 12:42:31 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		I met my Master here on CM.  It took 2 months because we talked for the first time about the middle of December then there were the holidays and in Januuary i was taking some classes in school.  After i was all settled in school and we had talked every day by phone for those 2 months.  We finally met  we had an  instant connection he was everything i though he would be and more.  We met at a Stabucks inside because he liked that i had to lean in close to talk to him.  We have been together close to 3 years now.

To the OP i say meet, to be on the safe side i wuld say meet in a public place.  Trust your instincts if it does not fel right walk away.  Good luck.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to silkenfire)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: meeting someone from cm - 10/6/2008 12:25:09 AM   
lilpetuk


Posts: 37
Joined: 9/10/2008
Status: offline 		hello.....

again thankyou all for your advice and thoughts, the meeting will be going ahead in a public place, i will also be giving my number to a subby firnd i have known for a while, and he will call me to check all is well. I go into this with my eyes wide open, once the meet is done, i will update all those kind enough to respond via the forums...once more into the breech dear friends.

hugsssssssss

(in reply to DefiantFlower)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: meeting someone from cm - 10/6/2008 5:05:40 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		I have me CM'ers at McDonalds(that meeting was all over the chat room) to fishing excursions. I like doing something different. It all depends on how your talks are going with that person where to meet them. You never know how they will turn out. One meeting at a resturant was a huge disastor. The woman could not control her nervousness. One said no thanks and called me back the next day. She is one of my best friends now. Another met me at a resturant at 9am for breakfast. We sat there all day and closed the resturant. You never know.   

(in reply to lilpetuk)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: meeting someone from cm - 10/8/2008 10:19:41 AM   
lilpetuk


Posts: 37
Joined: 9/10/2008
Status: offline 		greetings one and all...

As promised an update, today i met with the Dom in question, and things went wonderfully well, although very nervous He did all He could to put me at my ease, right now all is under consideration, with so much thanks to all who contributed their thoughts and advice.

hugsssssssssss
lilpet

(in reply to lilpetuk)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: meeting someone from cm - 10/8/2008 11:16:29 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I agree completely with this.
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
I'd do it as soon as possible. This way you don't build up false hopes if it turns out you don't have chemistry. Meet for coffee, if you enjoy it then walk around the mall together. .

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: meeting someone from cm - 10/8/2008 1:37:29 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		~FR~

My first Dom from on here I met with in 3 weeks. That was the soonest our schedules would allow. He lived 6 hours away. My current Master it took us about 6 weeks to meet after we started talking in a serious way. Again he was 8 hours away and it takes planning.

For the other people from here that I have met it was anywhere from 3 days to 3 months.  You meet when ever you feel ready to take that step.

edited cause i can't spell


< Message edited by akisha -- 10/8/2008 1:47:31 PM >

_____________________________

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It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: meeting someone from cm - 10/8/2008 8:27:30 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		I personally think that's up to you to decide, and what a bunch of people on the internet would or wouldn't do isn't really relivant or likey to be extreamly helpful, since we're all diffrent and the level of risks we're all willing to take varys from person to person. Personally though I've met with in hours of talking, or days of talking or weeks of talking, It all depends on the person, the situation and I've gone home with people and had them to my home, and played with people on first dates, an all the things the saftey police say you should never do. and I have never once regreted it. i typically end up regretting when we drag it out for months and months and months though lol.

and what I'd do in  a heart beat wouldn't be something I'd recomend willynilly to others, because for me it's an acceptible risk, but to others I don't know what your acceptible risks are.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lilpetuk

hello all...

I have been talking to a most wonderful Man and Dom on collar me for a few weeks, we seem to get on very well and have an awful lot of things in common, both vanilla and D/s..now after a bad experience a long time ago i turned my back on the lifestyle, i'm back and will stay. Now to my point...i tend to waffle lol.

Inevitably we are to meet, He is very local to me...so some comments on how long do you think you should chat online or over the phone before meeting..all comments, advice welcome. The first meeting will be for coffee in a public place, then we both agreed vanilla dating for a while..see how things progress.

hugssssssssssssss


< Message edited by YourhandMyAss -- 10/8/2008 8:37:48 PM >

(in reply to lilpetuk)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: meeting someone from cm - 10/22/2008 11:13:50 AM   
ladyacquiesce


Posts: 29
Joined: 5/8/2007
Status: offline 		Take things as they come and dont forget to not get lost in the moment and keep your head on straight and be aware! I wish you 2 lots of luck and happiness!

~ladyacquiesce~

(in reply to lilpetuk)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: meeting someone from cm - 10/22/2008 5:15:12 PM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline 		I am glad your meet went successfully,   I prefer to meet anyone local  within a couple of weeks in public and with no plan of playing ..so I know I am not just wasting time... long distance can be more difficult especially with work schedules..arranging flights/motels/pet service whatever and plus the costs involved of doing a meet so I am much more agreeable to taking more time online and thru phone calls getting to know each other first and even then meet is in a public place with no commitment to play  until I feel comfortable with the person in real time

_____________________________

Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself

(in reply to ladyacquiesce)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: meeting someone from cm - 10/22/2008 6:37:52 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		You also need to have code language, to avoid the awful "wow, what a disappointment, I'm not interested" conversation.  I recommend the following:  I'd rather not.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to lilpetuk)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: meeting someone from cm - 10/22/2008 8:06:14 PM   
ExKat


Posts: 300
Joined: 8/25/2008
Status: offline 		   I suggest meeting as soon as you've ascertained that he isn't a serial killer or something. You learn a lot more about someone in person than you can online. Online chemistry doesn't always translate to real-life chemistry. Since you're set on vanilla dating first, you've got relatively little at risk. Go for it!

_____________________________

~*~ The amalgam of Exquemelin and Katie978~*~
In the forums, it'll usually be Katie you're speaking to.
testing
"That's the plan/ Rule the world/ You and me/ Anyday ::wink::"

(in reply to lilpetuk)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: meeting someone from cm - 10/23/2008 8:45:29 PM   
ladyacquiesce


Posts: 29
Joined: 5/8/2007
Status: offline 		Glad your meeting went well! :)
I just was here to meet like minded people and I happened to meet someone, that was not my intention...we have met and have seen each other several times and things are going well :) funny how life has a way of doing things...He lives close, so that makes it a little easier, but any distance is hard.

~ladyacquiesce~

(in reply to ExKat)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: meeting someone from cm - 10/23/2008 8:55:33 PM   
Flogmaster


Posts: 27
Joined: 2/9/2005
Status: offline 		It's really about how comfotable you feel, and how honest you've both been to each other that dictates the speed to which you go forward, it's not fullproof by no means, I've had stong feeling for a little girl through e-mails, felt comfortable within a few days and we start talking on the phone, felt comfortable within a few more and met...started seeing each other in person building on each other then that's when it unraveled...but that happens when theres a wide age difference...and outside issues...just communicate, ask questions, but be comfortable in your decessions

_____________________________

OMG!! you can do that to me!!

(in reply to lilpetuk)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: meeting someone from cm - 10/23/2008 9:03:33 PM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		This isn't rocket science, use your head and your common sense--the same rules apply as would apply were this a vanilla blind date. Keep your wits about you.

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to lilpetuk)
Profile   Post #: 37
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