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RE: "Why should I consider you?" - 10/5/2008 4:35:36 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ol, jules you have passed the oral the way you let that phrase so offhandedly slide off your fingers, it will not be necessary for you to take the written portion of the exam.


I have never flunked an oral exam

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to NumberSix)
Profile   Post #: 101
RE: "Why should I consider you?" - 10/5/2008 5:11:09 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag

That an interesting reply... but at least you seem to be questioning what about it bothers you.  What follows isn't intended to "pick" on you Des... but your post seemed to sum up a pattern I've watched emerge.

One thing I've found intriguing about this whole exchange has been the reaction of most of the women and how quickly many formed assumptions that were not in evidence (and in a couple cases individuals have evidence to the contrary).  You do this in your reply.

quote:

My problem with Padraig's approach is

You actually don't know what my "approach" is... you've made an assumption based on one posited question that has provoked a fairly strong reaction from most of the women


I don't know anything about you except for what you said in this thread. I know you've posted occasionally as I remember the Irish name, but I don't remember anything you've said nor do I remember ever looking at your profile. You just aren't that memorable to me.

If your approach is wildly different then what you've said here, then why have you said what you did?

As far as the rest of your very long post to me, too long to respond point by point. Nor am I ever interested in doing so. To me, that's an argument, rebuttal by rebuttal and I don't do arguments.

What I will ask you however, is to consider how most of the women here find your posts upsetting and state that we do not respond to people who do this sort of thing. So if this is the way you approach women, in a way that you have clearly been told turns them off, do you find this an effective way of operating? Because if it isn't working for you, and again I have no idea if you are now in a relationship of any length, then I would suggest that the old line applies here. "Doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results is a definition of insanity".

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Padriag)
Profile   Post #: 102
RE: "Why should I consider you?" - 10/5/2008 5:26:58 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		Fast Reply
I’ve never been asked that particular question but I don’t think I’d take umbrage if someone did.  In fact, I often wish I would be asked more questions.  To me, >>>>>note this is my opinion<<<<<< a lack of questions indicates a lack of imagination as well as an assumption that if he’s D and I’m s of course we have enough in common to get together.
 I show curiosity about them and ask many of my own questions and have had several complaints that they feel as if they are trying out for a Broadway play or interviewing for a job.  My stance is that if they don’t’ want to put much effort into getting to know each other then I can’t imagine they’d put much effort into the relationship.


_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 103
RE: "Why should I consider you?" - 10/5/2008 5:33:31 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag

I think you protest too much.  From things you have said it seems you very much don't want a man to figure you out right away, you want him to work for it, to have to "discover" it through a process of "getting to know you" which you wish to be a drawn out affair.  That is the definition of being coy... and that is very much about wanting to be seduced.  It may not involve chocolates and roses... but it is still seduction.



Yes, some women know that mating is a game until the deal is sealed. If you ask 99% of men they WANT to work to get you, and if a woman comes too easy they figure that she must not have much value. I did not invent this way of thinking, I am just repeating what men have told me and what I have seen in my 40 years on planet Earth. Is this all men all the time? I am sure it is not. I believe it is the prevalent view of most men from my life experience. I also do not believe that just because I identify as a submissive that makes me any less worthy of someone "working" to romance me. I want to be courted. I enjoy romance. I like chocolates. Just because I feel the need to give power over to my partner does not mean I do not enjoy romance. Now I know a lot of submissives do not like it, and those sorts will find someone for them, I have found the one for me. He romances me when he feels like it, not because I demand it. Some people enjoy the art of seduction. Some people enjoy the process of getting to know the other person slowly. Some people have boundaries that take time to get past. I do not think it is being "coy" to have healthy boundaries. I have boundaries until I commit to someone...no matter the form of that commitment (D/s or otherwise).

I am responding to you one more time because I enjoy reading your posts on many threads. I am not saying your way of approaching relationships is wrong, I am saying it would not work for me to have someone approach me like that. I have said why it would not work for me. If it works for you to question a submissive like this... more power to you. Different people respond to things in differing ways. Just because many submissives here do not appreciate and would not respond to that approach well does not mean it is inherently "wrong".

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Padriag)
Profile   Post #: 104
RE: "Why should I consider you?" - 10/5/2008 5:49:08 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WestBaySlave

quote:

ORIGINAL: HeavansKeeper

I wouldn't treat a potential slave as anything less than an equal...


Nice attitude. You're a rare man.



Not really... That is what some of us call... normal....

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to WestBaySlave)
Profile   Post #: 105
RE: "Why should I consider you?" - 10/5/2008 6:53:43 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent
This contract is final and witnessed by all gathered here.

Signed:

THE KING and his bat.


Why thank you KINGMASTERSIR.  Now where is my jewel-encrusted collar?

batToo

< Message edited by marieToo -- 10/5/2008 6:55:04 PM >

_____________________________

marie.


I give good agita.









(in reply to NorthernGent)
Profile   Post #: 106
RE: "Why should I consider you?" - 10/5/2008 7:10:48 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I don't know anything about you except for what you said in this thread. I know you've posted occasionally as I remember the Irish name, but I don't remember anything you've said nor do I remember ever looking at your profile. You just aren't that memorable to me.

Pity you don't bother to read what I actually wrote then... might have made this discussion more productive.

quote:

If your approach is wildly different then what you've said here, then why have you said what you did?

Didn't say it was wildly different... I said you an others have repeatedly read more into it than was there, a point I found interesting.  I have twice stated fairly plainly what my approach is in general terms... and twice you and others have blithely ignored that.  Hey, don't blame me if you insist on remaining ignorant of the facts.

quote:

As far as the rest of your very long post to me, too long to respond point by point. Nor am I ever interested in doing so. To me, that's an argument, rebuttal by rebuttal and I don't do arguments.

If that's how you want to see it... sounds more like someone evading because she can't think of anything cleverer to say.


quote:

What I will ask you however, is to consider how most of the women here find your posts upsetting and state that we do not respond to people who do this sort of thing. So if this is the way you approach women, in a way that you have clearly been told turns them off, do you find this an effective way of operating?

Actually, in the course of my posts to this single thread I have received more email from submissive women and more views by submissive women than I would otherwise receive in a month.  Not a single one of those emails was negative.  So while it may be upsetting you and a few others responding to this thread... apparently there's a significantly larger group out there who feel very differently.  I find that too quite interesting.

But you also are making still another assumption... you assume I'm seeking to find someone online or in these forums.  In fact, I'm not.  Given that I'm not out to win any popularity contests here, that leaves me liberated to say pretty much whatever I like, as honestly as I might wish to be.

You asked why I have said what I have.  Fair enough.  I actually already answered this as well, but here it is again since apparently you didn't read that part either.

I made a statement addressed to a male submissive in response to a specific question.  That in turn garnered quite a strong reaction from about a half dozen self identified female submissives.  I found those reactions intriguing largely because several immediately read far more into that brief post than was actually written.  I let it play out because those reactions and the posts that followed interested me and I found them educational to explore for awhile.  I found it interesting that even when I pointed out these erroneous assumptions, several chose to continue responding based on those same erroneous assumptions. 

But mostly, I just found all this intriguing today.  Tomorrow I likely won't post at all since I've got a busy week ahead, which means by next weekend I'll likely have forgotten about this thread.  But for today, it was interesting.

So while apparently some of you think I'm an ogre... and some are just baffled... a few are bemused... and judging from my email I'm apparently a hero to some (all of which I take with a very LARGE block of salt)... I can sincerely say I enjoyed pretty much everyone's participation.  Even if we didn't all agree (actually especially because we didn't).

An on that happy note... g'night folks, hope you have a good week. 

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 107
RE: "Why should I consider you?" - 10/5/2008 7:12:25 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Two more reasons I find this approach unacceptable

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
say "Give me ten reasons I should waste my time with you".

I need us to be friends and I'm not compatible with someone who doesn't want to be my friend.


If someone were to ask me in just that way...
"give me any reason I should waste my time with you."
I would have no answer.  The arrogance of such a question smacks of bad taste.  If someone I barely have had any interaction with would say that right off the bat, I would know they are not likely to be someone I would want in my life.
 
Why?  I would never feel balanced.  I would always worry that I was not good enough.. presented as such.. "waste my time".  
 I am very secure in my skills.  But having had contact with men who view life under a "what can you do for me" umbrella, I know that satisfying them is something I am unwilling to work for.  Life is too short.
 
For me, this is a relationship.  One where you can sit and watch cartoons, shop, smile at squirrels, laugh, have fun, and be intense is not a job position.  It is a life position.  I would not apply as if I was seeking a job.  I have one of those and it is very satisfying.  I perfer my personal interactions with a more finesse.
 
The good thing about life is that it is sooooooooooo much more than bdsm, role play, or indulging in a fantasy.  We can pick and choose what suits us.  Some will go for that put in an application and I will get back to you.  And some will find out that along the path of life you may find yourself with a friend for life.
Kyst

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 108
RE: "Why should I consider you?" - 10/5/2008 7:24:37 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

If you ask 99% of men they WANT to work to get you,

I dunno... think we can find 100 men to ask and see if 99 of them agree with you?  C'mon guys... speak up, sound off... enquiring minds want to know.

quote:

 I also do not believe that just because I identify as a submissive that makes me any less worthy of someone "working" to romance me. I want to be courted. I enjoy romance. I like chocolates. Just because I feel the need to give power over to my partner does not mean I do not enjoy romance.

Ah... at least you admit to it.  Score yourself 10 points for honesty.

quote:

Now I know a lot of submissives do not like it,

An lots claim they don't... I've actually met very, very few for whom it was genuinely true.  You might find it illuminating to re-read some of my posts with that comment firmly in mind.

quote:

 I do not think it is being "coy" to have healthy boundaries.

An if it were... what of it... when did "coy" become a four letter word?  I tell you, its been utterly fascinating the responses this has generated.

quote:

I am responding to you one more time because I enjoy reading your posts on many threads.

Well thank you... an generally I don't find you more than mildly irritating either...

quote:

 I am not saying your way of approaching relationships is wrong, I am saying it would not work for me to have someone approach me like that. I have said why it would not work for me. If it works for you to question a submissive like this... more power to you.

Just for fun... how about one short paragraph of what you think my approach actually is?  Humor me, I'm terribly curious.  I'd like to see how it matches up to what I've said elsewhere in this thread about my approach.  No peaking at previous posts though... that'd be cheating at this point!  Seriously... that would be something new and interesting.  Otherwise I'm gonna go enjoy my fireplace.

quote:

Different people respond to things in differing ways.

Absolutely... an that never ceases to intrigue me.  Why you might even go as far to say that's mostly why I'm here.

quote:

 Just because many submissives here do not appreciate and would not respond to that approach well does not mean it is inherently "wrong".

Really?!?  Reading over past response I wouldn't have gotten that impression... how very charitable of you.  Careful though, you might be branded as actually being "fair".  Wouldn't want that would you?


_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to juliaoceania)
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RE: "Why should I consider you?" - 10/5/2008 7:27:40 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

If someone were to ask me in just that way...
"give me any reason I should waste my time with you."
I would have no answer. 

An really... who would have an answer to THAT question... well... one that was printable anyway.

But don't you find it interesting how the question has morphed over the course of posts from its original form to something increasingly negative and hostile?  Why is that do you suppose?

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 110
RE: "Why should I consider you?" - 10/5/2008 7:35:43 PM   
Daes


Posts: 246
Joined: 4/20/2007
From: Diamond Bar, SoCal
Status: offline 		I've both been asked this question and have asked this of doms. Most of the time I couldnt get a decent answer byeond "cuz yer a sub".

When asked that question however, it tended to annoy me, because I have more to offer to someone that I know on a deep level of trust, than I do with someone I've only been talking to for a few days, so my answer would be irrelevant no matter what based upon that initial contact. What I have to offer is also based upon how compatible we are, and since we haven't talking for long, I don't know that yet. So generally I have found the question to always be a blatant waste of time for these given reasons. So I went into the usual "my devotion, submission, obediance, blah blah blah" which tended to suffice for whoever it was I was talking to. I may as well have kept a small copy-paste file to say myself the trouble of typing out the same response.

However, when asking this of a dominant, I can make a quick deduction about how serious he is about the lifestyle, how he may be as My dominant, and what a submissive means to him. All of which are important for continuing consideration.

So failure to respond to my question with a decent answer usually X'd them off my list pretty quick. Unfair it may have been, it served as a good filter, and the results have been pretty nice. ^_~

< Message edited by Daes -- 10/5/2008 7:43:39 PM >

_____________________________

~*Estrellita*~
I want to be in surrender of His strength, of His power. Alone, I am nothing, but in His arms I am all things...

~His puppy~

(in reply to Padriag)
Profile   Post #: 111
RE: "Why should I consider you?" - 10/5/2008 7:42:37 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

Just for fun... how about one short paragraph of what you think my approach actually is? Humor me, I'm terribly curious. I'd like to see how it matches up to what I've said elsewhere in this thread about my approach. No peaking at previous posts though... that'd be cheating at this point! Seriously... that would be something new and interesting. Otherwise I'm gonna go enjoy my fireplace.


Without looking at your previous posts... from memory of reading your profile long ago... you seem to like the thought of submissive supplicating themselves into your service. You want a slave/sub with intelligence that will work to better herself. You want someone that would be an asset to you in your life because you have a public image where you live to uphold... I get the impression you would want your s-type to befit the station in which you live, or easily taught to. If I remember correctly, a submissive of yours would be more desirable if she were to improve herself in ways you found befitting in a vanilla sense.

As far as applying to you, what she would have to offer, well I can imagine from what you said on this thread that you ask that question to see the reaction more than for the answer? That is a bit of coyness in and of itself, asking questions to which the answer is not all that important. It is the very same thing employers do, see how you act under pressure. It is also something people that are accustomed to having others work under them do. If I am wrong about my impression of your words... well I am just going by what you wrote the way I remember it... I did not go back and reread the thread.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Padriag)
Profile   Post #: 112
RE: "Why should I consider you?" - 10/5/2008 8:02:38 PM   
girlivy


Posts: 699
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline 		What an interesting thread! Only speaking for myself here about the OP.  The question that is posed to you by potential Masters "Why should i consider you" i feel is a valid question for a number of reasons. 
1. Self awareness
2. compatibility
3. opens dialog
If you are not sure what they are looking for, then simply ask in order to understand the question better, and give you a more specifics in order to answer the question.
About the latter "What makes you better than other slaves?" For myself, I feel I am NOT better or worse than any other slaves, as my core beliefs are of we are all equal in spirit/soul., and I would answer as such.  It's a personal "interview "of sorts, but just as with any "interview" it is a 2 way street.
**added note here****
I recently had petitioned for training under a local Dom, One of the things I was instructed to list in the petition was what I had to offer, it wasn't easy for me because I have never taken the time on a personal level to in B&W to list them. Having said that, I can honestly say it has been a help in the direction I am going.   Good Luck to you!
Cheers!

_____________________________

AUTHENTIC SPIRITUAL GROWTH NEVER COMES FROM EXPERIENCES THAT THE EGO CAN PREDICT OR CONTROL.
OUR SPIRIT HAS ITS OWN AGENDA: OUR DESTINY.
Be yourself, everyone else is taken!

(in reply to Padriag)
Profile   Post #: 113
RE: "Why should I consider you?" - 10/5/2008 8:08:26 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline 		Half score for remembering all that... you're right, much of that is what I look for.  Oh and... women are coy... men are "mysterious"    Its also the sort of question a behavioral psychologist might ask... which ironically enough...

But, you didn't actually answer the question, what do you think my approach to a submissive is?  Do you suppose I, as has been the general assumption, sternly demand to know what they have to offer so as to not waste my time right off the bat?  Or do you suppose my approach is something else, and if so, what?

Again, I'm being mischievious and freely admit to it.  So in the interest of not overtaxing your patience  here's what I was getting at.  My "approach" generally is starting off as friends... and lots of flirting.  I enjoy flirting and gosh darnit... I'm good at it!  But I do keep her off balance, I don't want her too sure of my intentions... am I just being friendly, am I just flirting to be flirting... or am I really interested?  An I watch her reactions to see how she responds as I'm sure she is watching mine.  At some point however, we get to the point of obvious mutual interest... sometime that happens in 5 minutes... sometimes it takes 5 months... ya can never really predict that part.  Things start getting really interesting... she wants to know more about me, the serious stuff... do I keep the bills paid, do I have a future, am I secretly an axe murderer... and likewise I want to know more serious stuff about her.... what's her bra size, swallow or spit, and what exactly does she have to offer in a relationship?

Lately though I've found its been interesting to mix that up more.  I'm not much interested in anyone online... actually there is only one person online that even remotely has my interest at all (though she's gaining ground).  Mostly, its out in the meat world where my focus lies.  I've done some things of late I have been told a man should never do... things you just can't say or ask of a woman.  Telling my I can't do something is frequently a damn good way to get me to do it.  For example, I'm allergic to cigarettes... plus they REALLY annoy me.  A friend told me that there is no way I can ask a woman to quit smoking in order to date me... you just CAN'T do that.  Guess what I went out and did?   I flirted a bit with this cute lil brunette, then told her I'd take her to dinner, but she had to quit smoking first.  And at first she was put off, annoyed, etc.  But I didn't relent, and I kept flirting.  About two months later this same brunette shows up at my coffee shop... and she made a point of letting me know two things.  One, she'd quit smoking.  Second, she had Sunday off.  I got my date, on my terms.  Apparently... you can do that.  It's left me wondering what else I can do that I'm not supposed to.

Ain't life funny?

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 114
RE: "Why should I consider you?" - 10/5/2008 8:42:17 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

But I do keep her off balance, I don't want her too sure of my intentions... am I just being friendly, am I just flirting to be flirting... or am I really interested?


Sounds like the dating game to me..

I think that what you describe is what most of us do. I know that most of us want someone that has something to offer...

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Padriag)
Profile   Post #: 115
RE: "Why should I consider you?" - 10/5/2008 9:04:21 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I do not interview people with a list of questions.  I prefer to find out the old fashioned way, through conversation and time spent together.  If someone is so impatient that they start out with a list of questions they've already lost my interest.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 116
RE: "Why should I consider you?" - 10/6/2008 11:35:08 AM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent
This contract is final and witnessed by all gathered here.

Signed:

THE KING and his bat.


Why thank you KINGMASTERSIR.  Now where is my jewel-encrusted collar?

batToo


On its way. ......I'll be the one driving up and down New Jersey high street in a wheel barrow full of dark chocolate.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 117
RE: "Why should I consider you?" - 10/6/2008 1:03:08 PM   
Archer


Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		Meanwhile we're back to the same argument that has repeated here so many times.

1) the idea that the question mentioned in the OP is not a stand alone question never seams to come into the mind for many folks.
What possible follow up questions could possibly come from such an open ended question?  I can see this one single question being pursued to it's end taking several hours of conversation. Opening up areas for later conversations, exposing areas of interest and areas of confidence and lack of confidence. The business world has these questions for a reason because when the person answers them, there is more to the answer than just the words.

2) While skills got most of the attention, what seemed to be skipped right over has been the attitudes and other character traits.
A good listener, a discrete confidant, a person who seeks to improve constantly, an artistic soul, an introvert an extrovert... the list of characteristics rather than skills can certainly be more telling  and interesting than the laundry list of skills.

3) A formalized approach can also serve to slow things down in a predictable way, requiring a petition or application has some benefits along those lines and additionally along the lines that putting an idea to paper has a tendency to make it "real" in many people's minds. Forces them to face the reality of what they are doing. Certainly it's not for everyone but that does not mean it's not for anyone.

4) Never ceases to amaze me that we talk about how open and direct communication is important only to poo poo direct open ended questions asked in a manner that makes us uncomfortable.

On a related note, I much prefer the direct opposite question not the what I have to offer or what they have to offer, but rather "Why out of all the (insert role/ title/ preferable word here) would you choose to pursue me?" But I do get around to asking the OP question just couched in different way. In what ways do you think you will make my life better, and in what ways do you believe I will make yours better?



(in reply to NorthernGent)
Profile   Post #: 118
RE: "Why should I consider you?" - 10/6/2008 1:30:53 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
Yes, some women know that mating is a game until the deal is sealed. If you ask 99% of men they WANT to work to get you, and if a woman comes too easy they figure that she must not have much value.


Hey, just because someone needs to stand up for us men, I do not play games in the mating dance... it is deadly serious to me.  I do not do casual dates.  If I am interested in a woman, it is with the intent of a pursuing a possible lifelong commitment.  What THIS man knows is that anyone who wants to do gamesmanship during the courtship period is seeing this as an adversarial relationship (the definition of a game) rather than a partnership.  Such a person is hiding their real self from me behind tactics.  For me, there is nothing to engage with and no end-game win... all there is is the assuredness of conflict for the rest of my life... not something I'm chasing.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 119
RE: "Why should I consider you?" - 10/7/2008 7:34:49 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Your question  has answered why I never use this particular line of questioning of a potential anything. What I do ask is "What do you bring to the table?" and "What specific aspects or things about you do you believe gives you an advantage, if any, over other applicants?"


Exactly the point I was trying to make.  I'm not an "applicant" for a job or a position, I'm interested in seeing if we have anything in common for a relationship.  If you're hiring slaves for your estate, fine, that's an applicant, otherwise, not so much.

And yes, I do laugh out loud at profiles that say "now taking applications".  Maybe I should have tried that before... "now taking applications for the position of my Dominant."


Cali





This is where we differ, Any body seeking a place in my home is an applicant by drefinition. As I am already married to a wonderful dominant lady, I seek not interest of those whose long term goals are a partner or some form of significant other. The Victorian Homes like Gorean ones call for service oriented sub/slaves and an interest in BDSM in some form is just an added bonus. That o ne liucky girl may eventially graduate from a House Collar to a Personal Collor is as much the result of time spent together interacting in a variety of areas as it is to do with her capabilities in the home and ability to please me and be fou nd pleasing by me. Interrestingly though, I use a similar methology in selecting who will join my home as I used when selecting people for my security teams (without the emphises on weapons experiance)..


_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 120
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