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Finding A Slave - 10/4/2008 5:54:32 PM

exile509

Posts: 31
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline

I've been looking to find a little slave girl of my very own. I've been keeping up on e-mails via collarme, but lately i've been wondering if i should change my approach.

I want to know, from a slaves point of view, what is the best way for a potential master to approach you both on collarme and in person? what actions do potential masters do that often scare away slaves? how do you prefer to be approached?

Post #: 1

RE: Finding A Slave - 10/4/2008 6:22:09 PM

natasha66

Posts: 321
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: NJ
Status: offline

Try approaching potential subs/slaves as women and PEOPLE first. We are, first and foremost, human beings, and deserve to be treated as such. Speaking purely for myself, anything less than respect just pisses me off (or makes me break into hysterical fits of laughter). AFTER a relationship is established, then whatever goes, goes. Just my take on your query.

_____________________________

"If you bother me again I shall visit you in the small hours of the night and put a bat up your nightdress".
~Basil Fawlty

Collared June 4th, 2008
Love is giving him the power to destroy you, but trusting him not to.

(in reply to exile509)

Post #: 2

RE: Finding A Slave - 10/4/2008 6:27:59 PM

califsue

Posts: 593
Joined: 2/2/2008
Status: offline

Most will tell you to approach finding one as you would any other vanilla partner. Get to know them first as a person.

Others will suggest finding local munches and events to attend.

Realize that real life does get in the way of things and expecting someone to kneel at your feet every night and asking how they are can serve/please you is not very likely to happen. People get sick or other regular obligations that may interfere.

Realize that according to your profile you joined in April of this year and it can take time to find one.

I know this question has been asked by others so you might trying using the search function or if Lucky comes by she might have several links for you.

(in reply to natasha66)

Post #: 3

RE: Finding A Slave - 10/4/2008 6:32:56 PM

VivaciousSub

Posts: 446
Joined: 9/7/2008
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline

quote:

I've been looking to find a little slave girl of my very own. I've been keeping up on e-mails via collarme, but lately i've been wondering if i should change my approach.

What is your approach??

quote:

I want to know, from a slaves point of view, what is the best way for a potential master to approach you both on collarme and in person? what actions do potential masters do that often scare away slaves? how do you prefer to be approached?

I prefer to be approached as a person first and a potential slave second. Yes, I am submissive, and have served as a slave in the past, but I want potential Sirs to get to know ME first, because that's who they'll be dealing with. By the same token, I want to get to know potential Sirs before I decide whether or not we're compatible for a relationship. When you write to a woman that interests you, make it obvious that you've read her profile. Ask her thoughts on current events. Tell stories that make you laugh and see if she also enjoys them. A slave will be spending lots of time with you, please do your best to establish that you've thought about her as a whole person, not just her chosen label.

One of my huge red flags is a potential Sir that talks to me once and without any discussion between us, declares that I'm His. Uh, no. An offshoot of this might be considered those wondrous "on your knees, bitch" emails but in some cases that works. What I find far more offensive are the base assumptions that just because I've spoken to you, I'm exclusive to you, or that you own me, etc.

I met Sir on this site - he made it clear that He had read my profile, liked what He saw and more importantly, why He liked it and then commented on my journal. Then, He told me what it is that He wanted from me but not in a presumptive "you will do this even though you don't know me from Adam" manner. From that, I was able to tell that He had spent time doing His homework, that we found the same types of things to be funny, and that He was intelligent and charming. Furthermore, by making that request, He gave me something concrete to consider.

I was highly intrigued - I have received over 700 cmails since I joined less than a month ago, and His mail was one of about three that I took seriously. After I responded, He emailed me privately and asked if I'd like to meet with Him, no expectations required, just conversation.

I haven't looked back!

_____________________________

9.8m/s^2 + VivaciousSub + ground = ouchx10^9th

To yield readily--easily--to the persuasion of a friend is no merit.... To yield without conviction is no compliment to the understanding of either. ~ Pride and Prejudice

(in reply to exile509)

Post #: 4

RE: Finding A Slave - 10/4/2008 6:40:13 PM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

question - what is your approach? perhaps you could elaborate on how you approach potential slaves.

if you're using the standard "on your knees down, bitch, and suck my cock" message and/or expect instant submission, don't expect a kind, friendly response from most here.

however, if you're approaching them without reading their profile (and if the slave/submissive is already owned/collared), same thing because it's quite common for eager dominants/masters to send form letters or messages without reading the profile first.

OR

if you're approaching them as a gentleman, then the response back would depend on how the submissive/slave has set up her mail controls. your message probably has been sent to the bulk mail if you don't fit in her criteria ...or she has looked at your profile and found it not compatiable to her needs thus deleting without replying (it's not rude - just a simpler way of saying "thanks but no thanks" without the drama) - any number of scenarios could be added here.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to exile509)

Post #: 5

RE: Finding A Slave - 10/4/2008 7:11:22 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Another one voting to approach me as a person. I am not some nobody's little slave girl. I submit to one.
Write about vanilla stuff in her profile, a funny signature line if she forums, ask about her pet and share stories of your own that relate. And sign your email with your first name or nickname. Do not expect a stranger to address you as UberMasterLordCaptainUnderpants. If you eventually merit being called by a title, she'll do so. Until she is inspired to do so, just be Pete or Jim.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 6

RE: Finding A Slave - 10/4/2008 7:15:00 PM

VivaciousSub

Posts: 446
Joined: 9/7/2008
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Another one voting to approach me as a person. I am not some nobody's little slave girl. I submit to one.
Write about vanilla stuff in her profile, a funny signature line if she forums, ask about her pet and share stories of your own that relate. And sign your email with your first name or nickname. Do not expect a stranger to address you as UberMasterLordCaptainUnderpants. If you eventually merit being called by a title, she'll do so. Until she is inspired to do so, just be Pete or Jim.

That's it, Sir doesn't know it yet, but I'm gonna start calling Him that.

_____________________________

9.8m/s^2 + VivaciousSub + ground = ouchx10^9th

To yield readily--easily--to the persuasion of a friend is no merit.... To yield without conviction is no compliment to the understanding of either. ~ Pride and Prejudice

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 7

RE: Finding A Slave - 10/5/2008 2:02:55 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VivaciousSub
That's it, Sir doesn't know it yet, but I'm gonna start calling Him that.

That's it, I'm hiding this thread from my wife lest I get some similar title *laughs*

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to VivaciousSub)

Post #: 8

RE: Finding A Slave - 10/5/2008 3:44:00 PM

WestBaySlave

Posts: 501
Joined: 9/24/2008
Status: offline

   In total agreement with the general vibe of the "approach me as a person first" attitude. No matter how extreme a situation a master - or mistress, for that matter - is looking for, they still should be able to approach someone normally.

Here are some things that put me off when a master writes me.

Up front demands and requirements just to begin communicating. When someone writes me and tells me I should beg and plead for their attention, it both puts me off and makes me want to ask "if I'm begging, then why are you the one writing me?" Demands like "You will call me SIR" are less obnoxious, but still off-putting in a first email.

Demands for more pictures. Yes, I have more pictures; yes, I have nude pictures, but if that's the first thing you want I'm going to think what you want is pictures, not the slave in them.

Implying I'm lieing in my profile, or that I don't know what I'm talking about, or that I'm too young, stupid, white, or whatever they feel prevents me from "really knowing" what it means to be a slave. If you feel a slave is inexperienced, inform them as you go along. If you think they're a fake, don't bother writing in the first place.

Rushing things, or implying that you need this right now. Remember, even if a slave is willing to relocate to you - and many are - we are still people with lives, often busy ones, and statements like "You must be able to relocate with one month," are more likely to get polite but firm nos. I want to take the time to get to know someone, even if after a week I'm madly in love with the man.

This doesn't apply in your case, but masters who have their slave write me send a bad message. I'm usually monogamous anyhow, but were I to serve a poly master I'd want to talk to him first, and if he can't be bothered... why should I?

This all IMO, YMMV ect. and obviously others may feel different.

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 9

RE: Finding A Slave - 10/5/2008 9:52:59 PM

exile509

Posts: 31
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline

wow, these are some great comments, and honestly, everything i was hoping to hear.

to your minds at ease i have not been taking the "on your knees bitch" route on introducing myself to a potential. to be honest, it's not even my style, as i've said in my profile (and every chance i get, for that matter) i'm a pleasure-centric dom, the only time i "treat someone like dirt" is if they enjoy it. (if you don't enjoy it, it does nothing for me). to be honest, i've been concerned that being pleasure centric would pose a hindrance, especially seeing as though most slave profiles talk about wanting to be treated like shit.

but i'm glad to see those looking to serve want to be treated like people, because as fun as objectification may be, i'd rather be with a person than object. (because putting a collar on an object would just be silly.)

Your pal,
UberMasterLordCaptainUnderpants
(aka Exile)

(in reply to WestBaySlave)

Post #: 10

RE: Finding A Slave - 10/6/2008 4:34:57 AM

natasha66

Posts: 321
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: NJ
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: exile509

but i'm glad to see those looking to serve want to be treated like people, because as fun as objectification may be, i'd rather be with a person than object. (because putting a collar on an object would just be silly.)

Your pal,
UberMasterLordCaptainUnderpants
(aka Exile)

LMAO Exile

_____________________________

"If you bother me again I shall visit you in the small hours of the night and put a bat up your nightdress".
~Basil Fawlty

Collared June 4th, 2008
Love is giving him the power to destroy you, but trusting him not to.

(in reply to exile509)

Post #: 11

RE: Finding A Slave - 10/6/2008 9:24:32 AM

bound4more

Posts: 128
Joined: 10/3/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: natasha66

Try approaching potential subs/slaves as women and PEOPLE first. We are, first and foremost, human beings, and deserve to be treated as such. Speaking purely for myself, anything less than respect just pisses me off (or makes me break into hysterical fits of laughter). AFTER a relationship is established, then whatever goes, goes. Just my take on your query.

I agree. I've never found myself in a puddle on the floor from someone I didn't know who claimed how domly dom they were and began with "do what I say or you're not really a submissive". Take your time and get to know the person. You'll find it amazingly helpful. Personally, I think a good Dominant is one who knows and understands their sub/slave, and vice versa.

_____________________________

You can tell who someone really is by how they act

(in reply to natasha66)

Post #: 12

RE: Finding A Slave - 10/6/2008 9:32:37 AM

subtee

Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline

~FR

One of my personal favorites was, "Nice tits. I'm going to bite that cunt and rape your ass."

You could give that a try...

[Edit 'cause it's Monday. Damn]

< Message edited by subtee -- 10/6/2008 9:33:08 AM >

_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to bound4more)

Post #: 13

RE: Finding A Slave - 10/6/2008 8:51:51 PM

exile509

Posts: 31
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline

but... what if they're not that nice?

(in reply to subtee)

Post #: 14

RE: Finding A Slave - 10/6/2008 10:28:20 PM

Monkeyontuesday

Posts: 357
Joined: 2/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: exile509

but... what if they're not that nice?

LOL. You're clever. I like you.

And, I don't identify as being a slave. In my mind, a slave and sub are different... Therefore, if someone wants me to be a slave to them and demands things of me.... Nah. That and addressing me by titles that aren't theirs to use ("girl" and variations thereof, as well as all sorts of obscenities... Some, however, I'm sure I deserve

)

_____________________________

Make no little plans. There is no magic in them to stir men's blood.

(in reply to exile509)

Post #: 15

RE: Finding A Slave - 10/7/2008 2:45:06 AM

sujuguete

Posts: 263
Joined: 7/3/2008
From: DC metro area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: exile509

wow, these are some great comments, and honestly, everything i was hoping to hear.

to your minds at ease i have not been taking the "on your knees bitch" route on introducing myself to a potential. to be honest, it's not even my style, as i've said in my profile (and every chance i get, for that matter) i'm a pleasure-centric dom, the only time i "treat someone like dirt" is if they enjoy it. (if you don't enjoy it, it does nothing for me). to be honest, i've been concerned that being pleasure centric would pose a hindrance, especially seeing as though most slave profiles talk about wanting to be treated like shit.

but i'm glad to see those looking to serve want to be treated like people, because as fun as objectification may be, i'd rather be with a person than object. (because putting a collar on an object would just be silly.)

Your pal,
UberMasterLordCaptainUnderpants
(aka Exile)

I think you're off to a good start here. By posting on the forums, you are allowing prospective subs a glimpse into how you think, and what kind of relationship you want to have. Displaying your sense of humor is a plus, too.

If you read the forums regularly, you may find someone whose outlook and desires match yours, too. Best of luck to you!

sujuguete

_____________________________

"The true man wants two things: danger and play. For this reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything." ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

(in reply to exile509)

Post #: 16

RE: Finding A Slave - 10/7/2008 3:43:25 PM

monywildcat

Posts: 452
Joined: 2/26/2008
Status: offline

You have gotten great advice so far. The fact that we have all been saying "hey we are people first!" should give you a clue. Coupled with the facts that you are open to feedback, you are funny, and you have nice pics on your profile, I am of the opinion that you are well on your way to finding someone special. Good luck!

Now I haven't gotten email from anyone saying that they were going to "bite my cunt" although it would give me great pleasure to respond "careful, it bites back" before blocking and ignoring.

_____________________________

Major Life Change Necessitates Personal Reinvention...

(in reply to sujuguete)

Post #: 17

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