RE: What is intimacy?

RE: What is intimacy? (Full Version)

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SimplyMichael -> RE: What is intimacy? (10/5/2008 1:37:40 PM)
It is allowing yourself to be vulnerable, to roll over and show your soft underbelly to them, knowing that even though you are completely emotionally exposed, you are safer with them than anywhere else in life. It is a place where a kiss is more erotic than any sex could ever be, it is where fear and insecurity are left outside the door and trust envelops you like a warm blanket before a fireplace.

christine1 -> RE: What is intimacy? (10/5/2008 1:48:32 PM)
intimacy to me, is being able to share feelings even when i'm afraid to. it's being able to admit that i need him as much as i want him. it is being able to admit to and be honest about my fears and vulnerabilities with him. it is being able to completely put my heart into his hands.

Quivver -> RE: What is intimacy? (10/5/2008 2:59:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael It is allowing yourself to be vulnerable, to roll over and show your soft underbelly to them, knowing that even though you are completely emotionally exposed, you are safer with them than anywhere else in life. It is a place where a kiss is more erotic than any sex could ever be, it is where fear and insecurity are left outside the door and trust envelops you like a warm blanket before a fireplace. Wow Michael, that give me chills.......... (good ones)

KnightofMists -> RE: What is intimacy? (10/5/2008 4:16:59 PM)
Initmacy is simply to me a opening/revelaing of myself to another and them to me that makes us both vulnerable to each other.

Icarys -> RE: What is intimacy? (10/5/2008 6:08:27 PM)
I can only echo what others have said. It's being vulnerable to the people you love because you know they will accept that which you are. Trusting them with the good parts of you and the bad. I can feel the rhythm of her heart.. beating next to mine.. a sense of being found and yet being lost .. in the endless gaze of her loving eyes.. our bodies touch for what seems like eternity.. fused together as one, skin on skin .. embracing the sweetness of her inner light.. we dive deeper into one another, drowning without care.. I gasp for her, she is in my very breath.. the pulse that quickens in my veins.. the essence of our souls, intertwined.. we love as one, bound not by distance or time..

yourMissTress -> RE: What is intimacy? (10/5/2008 6:44:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Quivver The ~What is sex~ thread got me wondering about Intimacy and how it relates here. Is it a one way street, and if so how? Does this dynamic make things different, or like many other areas is it all very similar? I know there are no real answers, but your thoughts would be appreciated. Please if you would, define ~Intimacy~ FR Intimacy, to me, is sharing of myself. Letting someone in to the thoughts, feelings, vulnerabilities, and humanness that makes up me. It comes and grows through casual conversation, over long dinners, walks, cuddling in bed, watching TV, reading the paper, shopping, discussing the day, future plans, wants, needs, desires...it also comes from watching interactions between family and friends. I have all different levels of intimacy with friends, family, and lovers. Some know what I've done and been, some know who I am now, some know where and who I want to be in the future. With a lover, for me, true intimacy is the ability to share anything and everything, with complete confidence that whatever is shared cannot be outside of the boundaries of love.

Sandyshores29718 -> RE: What is intimacy? (10/5/2008 7:42:27 PM)
fast reply Intimacy to me is being able to just lay with someone in total silence. Listening to each others hearts beating. Sharing your deepest fears. Opening yourself up to all kinds of emotional pain and love. Taking the leap everyone is scared to take. Sharing your body is just that...but intimacy is me sharing my soul.

ali64 -> RE: What is intimacy? (10/5/2008 8:58:09 PM)
Being comfortable enough to leave the door open when you go take a pee. Dancing and acting out one of your favorite story songs infront of your loved one(s). Farting in bed. Being yourself with no fear. Knowing that the people you spend your life with love you unconditionally and in return loving them.

yourMissTress -> RE: What is intimacy? (10/5/2008 9:28:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ali64 Being comfortable enough to leave the door open when you go take a pee. Dancing and acting out one of your favorite story songs infront of your loved one(s). Farting in bed. Being yourself with no fear. Knowing that the people you spend your life with love you unconditionally and in return loving them. Does belching for an hour count? What are you still doing up?

SrchngCpl73112 -> RE: What is intimacy? (10/6/2008 7:42:27 AM)
Everything everyone has said is really hitting the nail on the head. I have never been an intimate relationship until now, even though i was married for 14 yrs. It's about really knowing someone from the inside out. Everything about them, the good, the bad and the ugly and loving them unconditionally regardless. Knowing that you can share anything with this person no matter what it is. I love what everyone has said. Great thread!

subtee -> RE: What is intimacy? (10/6/2008 8:09:52 AM)
~FR Does anyone have any experience being or owning a sub that is reticent? What if that is just a part of his or her personality? What if a Dominant has to work to open a submissive, not because she's defiant, but because she's inclined to be more restrained in opening up about herself?

KnightofMists -> RE: What is intimacy? (10/6/2008 8:21:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subtee ~FR Does anyone have any experience being or owning a sub that is reticent? What if that is just a part of his or her personality? What if a Dominant has to work to open a submissive, not because she's defiant, but because she's inclined to be more restrained in opening up about herself? mmmmmmm well I know two of such girls...... particularly Alandra in comparison to Kyra. It actually wasn't that hard. The key is simply ... I always took the first step in the opening.... and secondly... in general... most individual deeply desire to want and grave an intimate connection... once you hit critical mass... they will spill their guts in ways that will make your head spin. You need to be ready for the damn to break with these kind of people. Alandra was sexual abused as a child... until I came along.... she was 17 at the time... No one knew. In fact... know one knew much at all about her. I don't consider what I did was alot of work... it Alandra nature to be very um untalkative..... how she posts on the boards here... is very much like her on a daily basis... she is not a direct talker or communicator in most occassions. But she does communicate... if you learn how to listen. So that is the second thing one must do... take those first steps in opening oneself... and also learn to listen to the person... Just a few random thoughts.

RCdc -> RE: What is intimacy? (10/6/2008 8:36:38 AM)
Intimacy is closeness. It doesn't have to include sex and can be held between plutonic friends. Its simply shared moments. Like taking a bath together. Or watching a film at 4 am. Or eating the same cookie. People tend to use intimacy to explain a relationship which places a deeper representation on it and try to make it 'not just about sex'. the.dark.

subtee -> RE: What is intimacy? (10/6/2008 8:40:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists mmmmmmm well I know two of such girls...... particularly Alandra in comparison to Kyra. It actually wasn't that hard. The key is simply ... I always took the first step in the opening.... and secondly... in general... most individual deeply desire to want and grave an intimate connection... once you hit critical mass... they will spill their guts in ways that will make your head spin. You need to be ready for the damn to break with these kind of people. Alandra was sexual abused as a child... until I came along.... she was 17 at the time... No one knew. In fact... know one knew much at all about her. May I ask, did you know ahead of time to look for this and be ready for it? quote: I don't consider what I did was alot of work... it Alandra nature to be very um untalkative..... how she posts on the boards here... is very much like her on a daily basis... she is not a direct talker or communicator in most occassions. But she does communicate... if you learn how to listen. So that is the second thing one must do... take those first steps in opening oneself... and also learn to listen to the person... Very, very cool quote: Just a few random thoughts. And thank you for them [;)]

KnightofMists -> RE: What is intimacy? (10/6/2008 9:59:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subtee May I ask, did you know ahead of time to look for this and be ready for it? I can't say was looking for some dark secret... In fact... I think I was rather surprized and had alot of emotions at the time... but I found focusing on the listening part helps me get through these moments and brings us closer as result. editted to add..... It just occurred to me that when someone shares something with us of an intimate way... we sometimes feel compelled to say something or do something. Sometimes the hardest part is just to listen and share the moment.. but yet that is exactly what needs to be done.

SimplyMichael -> RE: What is intimacy? (10/6/2008 10:36:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subtee ~FR Does anyone have any experience being or owning a sub that is reticent? Uh, on some level we ALL are but some have much thicker walls than others quote: What if a Dominant has to work to open a submissive, not because she's defiant, but because she's inclined to be more restrained in opening up about herself? I used to take that restraint as rejection and I reacted toward it defensively. NOT a good thing. Now I simply notice it, comment on it, and do my best to provide a safe place for her to let them down. I am also am fairly intuitive and "see" past them. Hard to explain but if I see "x" type of wall or self defense mechanism, I size up the person and what I know and guess at what that wall protects, and comment on that. Not in a sort of blinding spotlight on a vulnerable hidden place but a sort of "I see you and your vulnerablity and will stand very still and make no sudden movements so you feel safe BUT if you want to share it with me, you may". It has taken me a long time to get here because of my particular basket of issues, others I am sure do this part better/faster/sooner but all I can say is when I manage to do that just right, I get rewarded with that little school girl giggle that tells me I just did it right. It is sort of like that sort of science fiction/fantasy scene where if you move fast you can't penetrate the armor but if you go super slow you can "meld" through to the other side.

ali64 -> RE: What is intimacy? (10/6/2008 11:08:34 AM)
i had stuff to get done. Don't you feel priviledged?

subtee -> RE: What is intimacy? (10/6/2008 11:17:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael Hard to explain but if I see "x" type of wall or self defense mechanism, I size up the person and what I know and guess at what that wall protects, and comment on that. Not in a sort of blinding spotlight on a vulnerable hidden place but a sort of "I see you and your vulnerablity and will stand very still and make no sudden movements so you feel safe BUT if you want to share it with me, you may". Well that's simply awesome [:)] quote: It has taken me a long time to get here because of my particular basket of issues, others I am sure do this part better/faster/sooner but all I can say is when I manage to do that just right, I get rewarded with that little school girl giggle that tells me I just did it right. And I believe there are many others that don't do it better/faster/sooner, but instead find it frustrating and a pain in the ass. Cool of you to post your evolution here!

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