RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? (Full Version)

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DavanKael -> RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? (10/11/2008 8:45:22 PM)

I think I use the term "prey" differently than you are using it.  Someone who seems like a "prey item" to me is someone I would definitely not want a relationship with; it connotes an inherent knowledge of serious damage. 
As far as your usage, I can't say due to lack of experience. The one person I have had a relationship with that I met on here, I contacted him because I liked what he had to say in his profile, resonated with a lot of his interests, and recognized him.  :> 
  Davan



pixidustpet -> RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? (10/11/2008 9:41:15 PM)

i honestly cannot say that i have *ever* hunted a partner, other than to simply place a profile.  i've literally had my relationships fall into my lap, one after another.  that doesnt mean that i didnt work at them, nor that i didnt value them.  just that i never had to hunt....in fact, i've been picky as to whom i would accept, as far as that goes.

kitten, tossin in her two pennies.



WorldofSilence -> RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? (10/11/2008 9:45:29 PM)

Have to admit I do all the work, and have never received any messages from potential subs/slaves saying they are interested in me.

After while, and finding intelligent/funny ways to introduce myself I stopped putting all that effort in as 9 out of 10 times I'd get no reply. Not even a polite "Thanks but no thanks"

Perhaps it's my glasses that scare em heh

WoS  



PanthersMom -> RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? (10/11/2008 9:46:03 PM)

i've never hunted in my life, 'nilla world or not, always had them show up on my doorstep, lol.  i like it that way, shows who's got initiative and will work at pursuit.  if they want it badly enough to go after it, they just might succeed.  that's how i met cub.
PM 



moonvine -> RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? (10/11/2008 9:53:23 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

From a sub female point of view...
It didn't work out well for me the few times where I was the hunter.  In fact, those were the times where things felt forced and uncomfortable.  The times where I showed interest (by viewing their profile) and then stepped back to let him then take the lead in pursuing have worked out much better for me.  A lot more intensity, excitement and compatability.  I think I loose something mentally with someone if they don't show their dominance immediately with me.


I find if I don't initiate contact, I don't get contacted much.  Mostly form letters that start "Hi sub", requests for casual play when my profile makes it clear that's not what I'm seeking, etc.

I did once get a well-thought-out cmail from a dom who lived about 3 miles from me, and we did have a relationship, though not a very long one.  That was 3 years ago.  So I hope not all doms think all our boxes are filling up with mail.



mztresn0w -> RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? (10/12/2008 12:05:20 AM)

I have found friends on line but nothing more. They write me and we go from there. If I was looking for a submissive it would be in person. I am not into the on line thing. I want to reach out and touch someone. I want to be able to see  them. It is just my thing



PanthersMom -> RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? (10/12/2008 12:16:25 AM)

online does nothing for me, i prefer meeting a real flesh and blood person.  online is ok for friendships.  just my two cents, ymmv.
PM



moonvine -> RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? (10/12/2008 12:49:26 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PanthersMom

online does nothing for me, i prefer meeting a real flesh and blood person.  online is ok for friendships.  just my two cents, ymmv.
PM


I think online makes it easier to meet others who potentially might be suitable partners.  I mean offline you have whoever is at your local munch/club/what have you, whoever you might be able to find in a vanilla setting who might be kinky, or whoever you might be lucky enough to be able to convert (which has never worked for me, YMMV).  I met my first real time dominant online in an AOL chatroom, about 12 years ago maybe - of course it didn't STAY online, but we *met* online.  Without him all my fantasies would still probably be in my head.  So I am glad this online world exists, even if it isn't for everyone.



ResidentSadist -> RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? (10/12/2008 1:33:56 AM)

Gazelles jump into this old lion's mouth. 



detoxxx -> RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? (10/12/2008 1:58:19 AM)

Personally....I like doing the chasing ...RAwR!



Amadan -> RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? (10/12/2008 2:11:01 AM)

 I generally prefer there to be a bit of effort on both sides, but honestly these days I've all but given up.
Sad that in the last 7 years the most luck I've had finding play partners has been on freaking ALT, of all places, which in this current day and age has become pretty much worthless.



Lordandmaster -> RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? (10/12/2008 2:58:23 AM)

As much as I love being admired, it has always worked out best when I've made the first move.



stella41b -> RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? (10/12/2008 3:12:35 AM)

I can only offer an analogy..

You see you got this bird called Roadrunner, and this Wile E Coyote, and the bird usually goes 'meep meep!' and...

... I think I'll leave it at that.



detoxxx -> RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? (10/12/2008 3:15:37 AM)

I wonder how many people on this site go along with that  'wait till the prey comes to you' theory

does that mean they let interesting people just pass on by? lol sitting there stubbornly thinking 'nope I'm waiting till they contact me!'



zakkan -> RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? (10/12/2008 3:17:18 AM)

Wow... The roadrunner is really playing hard to get, eh? 



sblady -> RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? (10/12/2008 7:29:12 AM)

I realize your question was to other Dominants, but I wanted to add my few pennies (actually, it's just one penny since the stock market snafu). [:@] It may appear that submissives have an easier go of things and can simply wait for a Dominant to trap them; it's far more difficult being caught by a compatible Dom.  We sometimes end up with more chaff.  [;)]

I'm not a shrinking or wilting violet but I rarely approach a Dom unless I see an interesting comment on his profile or something written in the forums. 

I've sent a "hello" or welcome to the block type e-mail (not just one line).  Some of the responses received was "Write a paragraph explaining why I should chose you as my submissive".   Um, what?  They got all that from a simple "welcome"?   I usually inform them that my comment or hello was a friendly overture and if they have any questions to please view my profile.



Roselaure -> RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? (10/12/2008 10:39:31 AM)

The Hunter/Prey analogy is not working for me.  In the wild, prey has no desire to be caught (except for occasional suicidal gazelle, I suppose).  I don't hunt, like many others it works better for me, seems more natural for me to be pursued.  That said, I have often let my potential pursuer know that his pursuit would be welcome.



NorthernGent -> RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? (10/12/2008 10:50:15 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NumberSix

I have never had a deer come into the woods where I was standing and say, 'Take me!!!!!'



What about a gazelle poking you with a stick and exclaiming: "bite my fuckin' head off!"........



aperversetwist -> RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? (10/12/2008 3:52:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

For some reason, and I'm not even sure where I picked this out-dated belief from, I always thought it inappropriate for a submissive to approach or initiate a correspondence with a Dominant and so I've always sat back and waited for them to contact me.  Before I get disabused of this notion, I'm obviously aware it is a silly notion to have.  In fact, I had a recent conversation about this with a couple of friends of mine who happen to be female slaves. I told this this view and one of them quite literally named me an idiot and told me that it was MY responsibility as a submissive to go out and flirt and woo the Dominant to me. 

WinD


As a top I found this amusing because I can't think of a time that I approached a bottom irl, for a similar reason of feeling it was inappropriate, instead preferring for them to approach me.  Going to play parties and sceneing seems to be the best way to get that to happen.  Since I'm currently partnered with someone I tend to spend more time sceneing in private with her, but she is interested in playing with other women, so I let her approach them, and that has worked well so far too.

Online however no one can see you scene.  So on rare occasion I'll email someone I think I would potentially like to get to know better and see if she would fit in with sceneing with my gf.  However I still find myself having difficulty getting past my old habit of not approaching a bottom, so I generally stop after viewing interesting profiles.

I would say being emailed by a bottom tends to peak my interest in her more than if I initiate contact.  It shows me that she is willing to take initiative which I prefer to a completely passive bottom.



Ebonybbw -> RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? (10/12/2008 5:43:23 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Blaakmaan

My question is:

Dominants:  How do you find submissives?

Do you search the profiles looking for what you want and contact who you like, or do you wait for submissives to come to you and choose from those that do?



I wait for submissives to contact me.  I then listen to what they are looking for.  If it's not something that I can oblige or is of interest to me, I don't waste either of our time.  My profile states what I seek.  I'm still seeking.



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