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Jeptha -> RE: humiliation (10/6/2008 11:28:45 AM)
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I'm not exactly sure if I agree with the "less than" definition.
At least, perhaps not in every case.
Because, it takes two to tango; if I'm directing my partner to do "humiliating" things, somewhere inside we both know that I'm just as complicit in the act as she is; though I may feign indifference or even harsh judgementality, somewhere inside she still knows that I'm her partner and that I'm getting off on her serving me.
In fact, if anything I probably bear greater responsibility for the action because I'm the one giving direction....
I was raised in a repressed little New England town where there was a lot of hypocrisy about sex. The irony is that the sex acts ( or acts of obedience or service) aren't bad (well, as long as they're victimless, that is); it's that someone would presume to sit in judgement of someone else that's perverted.
I had one ex who shared this background, and so that was fertile ground for humiliation scenes that played upon that hypocritical attitude that society has about what is "normal" and what is perverted, and so on.
But even in humiliation scenes, we had limits which we'd discussed beforehand. I wouldn't call her "stupid" or "ugly", for example, because those were things that would be genuinely hurtful to her; she was insecure about those things, even though she was actually pretty smart and accomplished, and rather cute.
Those limits will vary from person to person, of course.
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