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tsatske -> RE: Favorite punishments! (10/6/2008 5:13:38 AM)
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My problem with all the people talking about how mental punishment is the worst, is that, what we have here is a Dom who admits he is fairly new, who is honest enough to ask for help and advice.
For me, that cold,indifferant look, or any of the other things talked about here, are BIG. They better come out only when what they are disciplining is really WORTH it. I call them the 'nuclear bombs'. If they were overused, I would become a jumpy, frightened slavegirl, always afriad that my next move would displease him. He uses them almost never.
And, of course, as someone else said, the poor man is also getting a lot of symantics - he acknowldeged up front that 'favorite' was not what he meant. effective was what he said he meant, and, for me, being ignored is not very effective, unless I have really, truly done something that bad. I have never yet done something bad enough for Master to ignore me, although i have once managed, before moving to him, when we still had only our weekends together, to lose the privalage of contact with him for a few hours - and once managed to do something that he felt warrented scolding me but refusing to punish me, the worst punishment i have ever had, to be left to deal with his disappointment in me by myself.
Our punishments, as I said, the things that work very well are some things around them that make it clear that this is punishment, set it out from play in distinct ways. rituals, words, positions, certain implements saved only to be used for punishment. (well, one implement is saved for that). Most of all, the scolding, standing in front of him with him looking at me, seriously, speaking to me - he is not rude, he does not raise his voice, but there is not gentleness and endearments here. The scolding, the questions that come with it that must be answered to him, wich i have no answer for, of course - the tears start long before the punishment.
Being stood in the corner actually *is* a 'favorite' punishment for me. It is calming and centering to me, and I love it. After having done wrong, it brings me back to my slave space in a wonderful way.
But I do not think that I can answer him as best he wants, becuase I think he is looking for difficult to endure type of punishment, and in our dynamic, we save pushing the girl for playtime, so maybe others can give better advice on that - on punishments that are effective because they are harsh, painful, hard to enudre, ect.
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