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Lifestyle versus Way of Life - 10/6/2008 9:58:00 AM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		Hi, all----
I have pondered and have been pondering the difference between those who are involved 'in the lifestyle' and those who incorporate D/s into their 'way of life' or live their life in a D/s context.  For some, there appears to be little to no distinction between these terms or approaches and for others the distinction is pivotal.  I am interested on the thoughts of others on this. 
The distinction has struck me as particularly important when speaking with others on issues and understanding where they are in these potentials as a way of grasping where they are coming from in terms of approach/mindset. 
As with many things, it perhaps comes down to terminology being a place with which to open a conversation rather than as the be-all, end-all but I wanted to pose the query and see where folks take it.  :> 
Davan

< Message edited by DavanKael -- 10/6/2008 9:59:15 AM >
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RE: Lifestyle versus Way of Life - 10/6/2008 10:05:05 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		I simply live life.  Because we as a couple have no need to hide anything, it's just part of it.
 
the.dark.

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RE: Lifestyle versus Way of Life - 10/6/2008 10:09:23 AM   
IvyMorgan


Posts: 729
Joined: 7/5/2007
From: Midlands, UK
Status: offline 		I'm just me.

Sometimes, I'm more me than other times, when I have to be something else because of surrounding people or circumstance.

Or, I guess, sometimes different parts of me become more prominent, depending on circumstance.

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RE: Lifestyle versus Way of Life - 10/6/2008 10:11:10 AM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		From what I believe, the only differences are subtle between the two terms and feel that each apply to different sides of the same coin so to speak. How I apply D/s in my own life is simple, it is incorporated into all the other aspects which my life is based upon. I don't make it "the end all, be all" nor do I relegate it to a small percentage. It is a part of my life therefore it is a part of me. Each person lives the D/s aspect in a manner which they feel is best for themself.

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RE: Lifestyle versus Way of Life - 10/6/2008 10:11:33 AM   
Subductrssss


Posts: 97
Joined: 9/28/2008
Status: offline 		life·style  


  /ˈlaɪfˌstaɪl/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[lahyf-stahyl] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun



the habits, attitudes, tastes, moral standards, economic level, etc., that together constitute the mode of living of an individual or group.
Also, life style, life-style.





[Origin: 1925–30; life + style]   
1 dictionary results for: way of lifeWordNet - Cite This Source - Share This



way of life


noun

a course of conduct; "the path of virtue"; "we went our separate ways"; "our paths in life led us apart"; "genius usually follows a revolutionary path" [syn: way] 
 To me, and this is only MHO ~ Lifestyle is the way of being in a certain aspect of one's enjoyment of life; BDSM D/s M/S Lesbian, gay etc, it is the face you show the world you are comfortable with  Way of life is how we are when it is just you and me, no one to watch, no one to comment, just us and how we enjoy being with each other, there may be a facade that others see or "masks" we take off when we are together that no one but close friends see, but to me in the BDSM D/s world they are intermingled.  Such as going to a play party then going home with my Dom afterwards.

< Message edited by Subductrssss -- 10/6/2008 10:12:08 AM >

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RE: Lifestyle versus Way of Life - 10/6/2008 10:19:59 AM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		Thank you all for your replies!  :> 
Fleshing out more the distinction I see between lifestyle and way of life would involve more the idea of lifestyle being folks who are into the presentation of things rather than the practicality of things.  This could apply, really, to any group: Iwas talking with a gay friend last evening and the distinctions came up.  Perhaps I am connoting lifestyle more with community involvement and way of life more as private, in home living.  One is no less real than another but, for example, if I am having a way of life issue and I speak with someone who is more lifestyle/community focused, I am going to likely get a different answer and certainly a different perpective than someone who is also replying based on way of life.  Neither is good/bad, right/wrong; just different and, again, they can, imo, overlap.  Just seeking thoughts and, again, thanking those who have contributed to the conversation thus far. 
  Davan

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RE: Lifestyle versus Way of Life - 10/6/2008 10:23:18 AM   
UmbraDomina


Posts: 491
Joined: 7/22/2008
From: SE Michigan
Status: offline 		For me it is neither, it is simply a small part of my life, a important part, but certianly not a lifestyle or way of life..... I do not base my life on BDSM I prefer to live my life which happens to include BDSM. I prefer to define my BDSM not have it define me.

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RE: Lifestyle versus Way of Life - 10/6/2008 10:30:14 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
quote:

 have pondered and have been pondering the difference between those who are involved 'in the lifestyle' and those who incorporate D/s into their 'way of life' or live their life in a D/s context. 

Either way D/s is in my life and incorporated into my life.
I just plain and simply live my life.

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RE: Lifestyle versus Way of Life - 10/6/2008 10:30:33 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

Thank you all for your replies!  :> 
Fleshing out more the distinction I see between lifestyle and way of life would involve more the idea of lifestyle being folks who are into the presentation of things rather than the practicality of things.  This could apply, really, to any group: Iwas talking with a gay friend last evening and the distinctions came up.  Perhaps I am connoting lifestyle more with community involvement and way of life more as private, in home living.  One is no less real than another but, for example, if I am having a way of life issue and I speak with someone who is more lifestyle/community focused, I am going to likely get a different answer and certainly a different perpective than someone who is also replying based on way of life.  Neither is good/bad, right/wrong; just different and, again, they can, imo, overlap.  Just seeking thoughts and, again, thanking those who have contributed to the conversation thus far. 
Davan


We do both, so yes it is entirely possible.  We don't live a 'style' of any particular kind which is why it's pretty pointless descriptive to us. It's not a dress we slip in and out of and we don't change our personalities regardless of where we are and who we are with.  Being owned is no different than being a partner, wife, daughter, aunt.  It's just another descriptive quality.
 
the.dark.

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RE: Lifestyle versus Way of Life - 10/6/2008 10:49:56 AM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline 		BDSM is a fully integrated part of my life.

Thats really all I can say ... I get on with life .. and BDSM is woven (one way or another) right the way through it.

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RE: Lifestyle versus Way of Life - 10/6/2008 12:00:26 PM   
SrchngCpl73112


Posts: 47
Joined: 9/21/2008
Status: offline 		I also agree that D/s is just an integrated part of our life.  This is how we live inside of the home and outside.  It's like myself in particular.  I live a low carb lifestyle.  I have lost an enormous amount of weight eating low carb and now that i am at my goal weight it is just a way of life for me.  Its normal.  I dont go out to eat or go to family functions and eat differently because of the way people might think, and believe me i have caught hell because of the way i eat from my family especially.  Everyone is used to it now so they make sure they have food i will eat, salad, plenty of meat, veggies.  But it has taken a while to get to this point with everyone.  It is the same in our D/s relationship.  It is part of us.  It is normal to us.  Granted, i am very new to this lifestyle and still learning all the time but since it so much a part of myself and a part what he is and what we are it is just life to us.  It is incorporated into everything we do, not consciously at all, it just is. 

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RE: Lifestyle versus Way of Life - 10/6/2008 12:03:47 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		I like making decisions.  My wife likes NOT making decisions.  It's just that simple.  There is no "lifestyle".. no "scene", no nothing.  This is not our way of life.  It is simply how the have structured the decision making process in our marriage.  We still have pretty much exactly the same "lifestyle" that we always had.  Two normal suburban middle-class people with two used cars, a modest house and no picket fence.  In some ways, this has been pivotal in our lives, but it has not changed our lifestyle in any substantive ways.

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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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RE: Lifestyle versus Way of Life - 10/6/2008 12:07:58 PM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Lifestyle, as defined above, fits...but it sounds as if it were and is constantly chosen and  not inherent.  I don't have much choice in being who I am.  I can modify, like put in colored contacts if I want brown eyes but under the contacts my eyes are still blue.  I don't walk around with a whip in thigh high leather boots, but I am still me in jeans and a t-shirt.  Being a dominant woman is as much me as being a mother, a student, a friend are all me.  So for me, it's just another part of my life, not compartmentalized, but one of the parts that make up the whole that is me.

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Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


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RE: Lifestyle versus Way of Life - 10/6/2008 12:55:25 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I'm really going with semantics on this one.  The only difference I might see would be the one between being active in public alternative activities rather than those who are just living their BDSM lives at home.

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RE: Lifestyle versus Way of Life - 10/6/2008 1:11:50 PM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		The over used media catch all "lifestyle" term  does not fit who i am or the way i live .Oooh so your in  The Lifestyle ? exactly what "lifestyle" are you speaking of  .My BDSM  is mine  it may have  some common factors  with others  but its mine .Just as the term 'scene " is not one i use , i am not making a movie or attending some random events .So then what are we as a collective group ?For me i prefer  the  community and yes this  too can be a community .It can also be a sub culture  it can be a lifestyle  it can be many terms and definitions .I have  seen people use the term lifestyle as in terms to gays like they can just change their "lifestyle" and not choose to be gay .As it also relates here  my BDSM  is not a halloween costume for me to take off and put on .This is not a choice  about me  doing an activity like  camping ,hunting , video games  or a fitness lifestyle , it with in me  my genetic  dna make up .There are those who lok for the "scene" and the lifestyle " and are casual  and that great for them . The terms and definitions just DO NOT fit all .

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RE: Lifestyle versus Way of Life - 10/6/2008 2:47:45 PM   
tweedydaddy


Posts: 673
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		overanalysis can be such fun. I don't do that much thinking, I have spanking to do.

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RE: Lifestyle versus Way of Life - 10/6/2008 7:00:49 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		The "lifestyle" thing is just a personal preference deal.  I use the term because I think it makes sense, but I'm more prone to say WIITWD.  I am in the sub culture of kink, but I'm also in many other sub cultures and cultures.  People who seek to compartmentalize things often have more trouble than ease.  Take what works for you.

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RE: Lifestyle versus Way of Life - 10/6/2008 7:16:48 PM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		A clear definition upon personal prospective is no trouble at all , yet i do agree take and use  what works for you .One box for all never works for all .

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RE: Lifestyle versus Way of Life - 10/6/2008 8:11:08 PM   
pompeii


Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline 		It's not a lifestyle for me, nor a way of life; it's just something I think about all the damn time!

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RE: Lifestyle versus Way of Life - 10/6/2008 8:18:13 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		I am what i am popeye the sailor man.  Ask 100 ppl what their view is .. you will get 100 differing opinons

BadOne

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