vanilla bf (Full Version)

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LilWicked88 -> vanilla bf (10/6/2008 10:31:30 PM)

i'm currently with a great guy, but he's vanilla....he claims to have a kinky side but doesn't know much about the BDSM lifestyle...what would be the best route of introducing him to it?



JumpingJax -> RE: vanilla bf (10/6/2008 10:41:55 PM)


Rent a movie or something. Try "The Secretary" staring James Spader. You can say you got it because of the well known actor but let him watch it. See what he thinks about it in the end and see if it tempts him to experiment.



DavanKael -> RE: vanilla bf (10/6/2008 10:42:00 PM)

Hi, LilWicked----
Having a conversation of depth seems a great place to start.  Perhaps he can tell you about his kinky side and you can tell  him about yours?  Then work from there? 
Good luck!  :>
  Davan



LadyKatija -> RE: vanilla bf (10/6/2008 10:46:44 PM)

talk.



servantheart -> RE: vanilla bf (10/6/2008 10:47:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyKatija

talk


What she said



UmbraDomina -> RE: vanilla bf (10/6/2008 11:04:18 PM)

Talk, get him some basics books, show him some websites, grow together and enjoy. Offer to be his sex slave for a night, lead him through a few kinky things.
just remember he might not grow to be DomMcDreamy, so keep your fantasies grounded.



PACAT123 -> RE: vanilla bf (10/7/2008 12:00:22 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

Hi, LilWicked----
Having a conversation of depth seems a great place to start.  Perhaps he can tell you about his kinky side and you can tell  him about yours?  Then work from there? 
Good luck!  :>
  Davan



im confused what is this



MasterFireMaam -> RE: vanilla bf (10/7/2008 12:34:39 AM)

Try finding a local TNG group. They're specifically for your age and geared toward introducing people to fetish. You may or may not learn about relationship dynamics, but it's a GREAT place to start the adventure.

Master Fire



tweedydaddy -> RE: vanilla bf (10/7/2008 2:10:35 AM)

Tell him, but dress up first and show him what he could be getting!
Worked for me more than once.



RCdc -> RE: vanilla bf (10/7/2008 2:22:26 AM)

Talk about it.  Explore.  Show him.
Get some good books - I believe RS posted a good resource post HERE
Attend some demos, even if you aren't into groups or munches.
 
the.dark.



LilWicked88 -> RE: vanilla bf (10/7/2008 1:39:51 PM)

thanks for the book ideas, hadn't thought of that...as far as talking goes, i've tried but he tends to get a little...i dunno...deer in the head lights look when i bring it up



sheyearns -> RE: vanilla bf (10/7/2008 1:46:02 PM)

i would recommend the book titled...When Someone You Love is Kinky.  It's a good basic start to get him on the right track.  He may need to get over his anxiety and shyness about a topic like this. 

Good luck!



MasterFireMaam -> RE: vanilla bf (10/7/2008 2:27:39 PM)

Well, what are you bringing up? Most guys are trained to 'not hit the girl' and 'be nice to the girl' and 'it's a 50/50 relationship'. These are tough programs to overcome. In the end, it simply will never work unless he's got at least some interest in it himself. In my experience, I've never seen 'I just do it to make my partner happy' hasn't ever really been deeply fulfilling for either.

Master Fire



colouredin -> RE: vanilla bf (10/7/2008 2:40:09 PM)

Rather than exlaining what you like why not ask what he thinks of as kinky what he is interested in all that then you will get a sense of his comfort zone and be less likely to freak him out



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