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thndershadow -> RE: Need some advise (12/7/2005 2:17:50 AM)
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[8|] Wow so much info to take into consideration. Thank you all for the comments.
To answer a few questions. No he doesn't take care of his diabetes. I am constantly reminding him to check his glucose levels. He has had renal failure, a stroke, a heart attack, one leg amputation (necrotizing fascitis sp?)and one foot amputation. I wasn't around for the flesh eating bacteria when he lost his leg. But I was there for the rest. He has been infection free for over a yr now.
I have suggested many many ways he can please me without actually being hard. I found a very good strapon in a magazine I have. It vibrates at the tip to maximize his stimulation while fitting over his penis to give me a hard penis sensation. All he would have to do is strap the sucker on and go to town! [:D] But he absolutely refused and then said he would think about it when I brought it up several more times. He is still thinking about it, that was four months ago!
I have suggested as someone else posted, a male with a hardon. Sounded good to me. I asked him if I could have a male sub to fulfill my needs, not a Dom that he would feel threatened by, a male sub. NO WAY in purgatory!
We do have toys. However, he says he wants to learn to please me right, but when I say, slow down, not there, over here, show him, ect, he just goes back to being very hard and aggresive. Now this isn't a bad thing being bdsm, however, my pussy needs stimulated nicely before going on. He just grabs and goes. This creates a problem also. And I have mentioned it before several times. The last time, which was a week ago, we played with toys, he used the millenium lube bottle...( a little embarressed [&o]) the rim on the bottle cut my vagina up pretty bad. When I told him I was bleeding rather profusely, he just said OH and rolled over and went to sleep. And he can't understand why I don't want to give him head or have sex with him being as rough as he is. He doesn't trim his nails and almost always cuts me with one and when I spend more time saying 'ouch' in a non good way than saying 'oh yes ouch" something has to change. And yes, I have told him all of this. Right now he is sleeping and very angry with me because I have not given him head in almost a week now. He is actually being very mean about it. [:@]
As for my collar. I stayed with him for two yrs, hoping it would improve. I am one of those that needs the whole mountain to fall on her head instead of just a rock pinging off the forehead before I will give up!
He proposed marriage last spring. Things were not this bad then. I no longer wear my engagement ring, he no longer wears his Dom ring that I gave him in our collaring ceremony. He hasn't even asked me what I did with it. So in essence, my collar is off. It has been for some time now. I can't remember the last time we actually did anything bdsm or D/s wise, except for his nastyness because he isn't getting head! [&o]
Oh and for those that asked. He DOES have a prescription for Cialis and Viagra, he refuses to pick up the meds. I did drag him to the Dr. I explained my issues with his "E D" and the Dr prescribed the meds above and did not see any reason why they would not work!
I think the one that posted a fear or dislike of vaginas hit it on the head. no pun intended lol because he doesn't even have an interest in my vagina when it comes to intercourse. He does not bring it up, offer it, talk about it. I do all the talking when it comes to intercourse. He acts as if intercourse does not exist. And we have discussed counseling. He won't go. So, this is where the story stands.
I want to thank you all for you comments. I really appreciate having someone to talk to about it! [:)]
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