RE: who should make the first move? (Full Version)

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fastlane -> RE: who should make the first move? (12/7/2005 11:06:27 AM)

Sometimes we are too formal in our training and our ways. If you are interested in someone, let them know. It's what I would prefer.

I hated the last time I was petitioned.

Damn judicial system.....talk about being too formal!



jamesthehumanrug -> RE: who should make the first move? (12/12/2005 2:08:39 PM)

dear cravin a
if you dont blow your own horn
no one
is gonna ring your door bell
comin to look for you
ms cravin a spanikin'
, understand?



DesertRat -> RE: who should make the first move? (12/12/2005 2:52:25 PM)

I like being approached, and some of my best and most memorable relationships have started out that way. I also don't mind reaching out myself. No rules; no policies. Whatever feels right and works.

Bob



Greatcornbow -> RE: who should make the first move? (12/12/2005 4:33:37 PM)

I see no problem whatever in a sub making the first move to a prospective Dom; nor the other way round.

Online, I've had subs email me initially. and I've initially emailed other subs.

A D/s relationship needs to be based on consent in any case, so why does it matter who first approaches whom?



candystripper -> RE: who should make the first move? (12/12/2005 5:02:24 PM)

quote:

We don't mind being approached. Usually, after we've both gotten to know the person request to play go through the other partner. That is, if someone wants to play with me, she would talk to Libby, and if someone wanted to play with Libby, he or she would talk to me. That way each of us knows what is going on and when.

If we want to play with someone, we let them know we are interested but neither of us will persue. We tell them we are interested and then let them know the next move is up to them

JohnWarren


i have occassionally written to a Man on my Admirers' List who seemed, from His profile, to be compatiable in some way. Truthfully, no such contact has ever yielded anything at all. i have enough email coming in; at least i know these Men have some superficial interest in me.

i'm sure the rules for public play are different, but i cannot imagine ever doing that.

candystripper



candystripper -> RE: who should make the first move? (12/12/2005 5:08:00 PM)

quote:

There's a strong and dominant bucking bull out there just for you that will give you a ride all night long. You just need to get his attention. The best way to a Texas Mans heart is throuh his stomach. How good are you at making biskets, eggs, bacon, and gravey in the morning? How good is your meat loaf, mash potatoes, and green beans for dinner?
If you can cook, I'd put that in your profile and mention that at meetings how you would like to serve a dom home made food after you've been taken care of.

Best of luck

FangsNfeet


i am so screwed; i cannot boil water, LMAO.

candystripper



MissDiandSirHugh -> RE: who should make the first move? (12/12/2005 10:54:01 PM)

We would have no problem with a Sub approaching us or even either of us weather it be on line or at a play party even if it was only to talk with us and get to know us better as who knows what the future holds or what may happen form that first approach.
We also have no problem doing the approaching so as to never let a chance go by if it is only to make friends or if it is to play.



sweetpettjenny -> RE: who should make the first move? (12/13/2005 3:09:23 AM)

I am very much a friendly talkative person, so me personally i would start up a conversation with the Dominant i was interested in.



domtimothy46176 -> RE: who should make the first move? (12/13/2005 6:44:30 PM)

I'll be the first to admit that I'm a smug bastard, but I do love it when a girl is inspired to let me know she's interested. To be honest, it's an ego boost. I will say that it's much more meaningful when it happens in r/t among those who know me and have a chance to observe me and my interactions with others. Those who contact me online may feel like they have an understanding of who I am, based on my writings, but it's touching when those who know me offline, warts and all, respect me enough to want to serve me and aren't too shy to let it be known.
Timothy



KnightofMists -> RE: who should make the first move? (12/13/2005 7:55:40 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: cravinspankin

I have been told that a submissive should be patient, that if a Dom/Master is interested in her, He will let her know.

I wonder what you Doms and Masters think? Whether it's online, or say at a dungeon or lifestyle party....
Do you think it's inappropriate for a (single/available/unowned) sub to approach you?
Or would you rather she did?




simple... Who ever is motivated or driven by the greatest need or desire to express interest of the other should do so.
It doesn't matter who.... but one should be aware of the others situation/values/ideas before making any expressions of interest.

Now as far as myself... I am not too motivated by my needs or desires to express interest of others. My life is very content and anyone expressing interest with me should only be seeking to fill needs or desires in a very narrow (causal) aspect of my life and possibily even a temporary one at that. Considering the general contentment and happiness of my life as well as the limited possibilities that could interest me.... I don't expect I will express or receive interests of any kind, which suits me just fine.

oh yeah... expressing interests should be direct... polite but direct.... I think the vague references of interest to be silly and a waste of time. If your interested, say so!






MasterDaddy123 -> RE: who should make the first move? (2/27/2006 3:26:25 PM)

I do think the Master is to make the first move. This is certain..but nothing prevents a slave from letting the Master know she is available or unowned ( wink). But she must do everything with permission.



MHOO314 -> RE: who should make the first move? (2/27/2006 3:30:00 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterDaddy123

I do think the Master is to make the first move. This is certain..but nothing prevents a slave from letting the Master know she is available or unowned ( wink). But she must do everything with permission.



ok I have a hard time with this one, in the interviewing stages, IMHO she is not slave and there is no Master/Mistress relationship, its simply 2 people exploring--there is no slave until an agreement has been reached.



RavenMuse -> RE: who should make the first move? (2/27/2006 3:40:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterDaddy123
I do think the Master is to make the first move. This is certain..but nothing prevents a slave from letting the Master know she is available or unowned ( wink). But she must do everything with permission.


Permission from whom exactly? Before there has been submission then you maybe call yourself a master but you ain't HER master!

OP: If either is interested then they should make the initial introduction, else who knows, the other might not even notice them.



Oberonrex -> RE: who should make the first move? (2/27/2006 4:35:00 PM)

I don't mind being approached in a respectful manner by anyone. I meet politeness with politeness, or at least try to.

The one thing I don't recommend is doing it on the order of one I got a few weeks ago, which consisted of IM and e-mails to the effect of "Master, Master, I've Found You, I am yours, give me your phone number now so I may hear your voice and then fly to you!" My first response was "Excuse me, do I know you?" Second response was far more blunt, and included an order to go away and trouble me no more.

My suggestion: If you are interested in someone, let them know and be yourself. If the interest is mutual, things will go.



Submotive -> RE: who should make the first move? (2/27/2006 5:00:28 PM)

i have experienced both - being approached and approaching. Typically i approached Those Who had me in Their favorites listing. Occasionally i've approached Doms/Masters Whose profiles included something that registered deeply within me. But being courteous and respectful has always been a priority. That comes relatively easy for me, though, because i love protocol.

My policy has been to contact them ONCE - if They do not respond, They're not interested - period. If They do - i take it from there.



Alumbrado -> RE: who should make the first move? (3/6/2006 7:19:09 AM)

I think Billie Holiday sang it best...
"Do nothing 'till you hear from me....

.....and you never will"

Waiting around for someone else to observe 'the rules' is good way to be waiting for quite a while (unless you only want one of those telepathic Doms).



IronBear -> RE: who should make the first move? (3/6/2006 8:02:04 AM)

For all the sophistication and background, I am really a simple bloke..

If I like you, I'll probably embarrase you by saying to you, "I like you, I feel comfortable in your company and you are really a nice person". Many have trouble with that but if I'm nothing else, I am dead honest. I wont flatter you. Flattery IMO is nothing but trying to con someone and is insulting.

If I don't like you, I won't ne rude or insult you but will tend to avoid you socially as much as I can. If you can't take the hint, and ask me about it, then irrespetive who is present (excepting your wife/husband and kids ~ they dont deserve to har that their wife/husband, daddy is a great pillok, twit, ijit etc etc etc). I will tell you without abuse that I just don't like you or that I don't enjoy your company. I'd hope that you never pushed things that far....

If I am interested in you as a submissive and possibly a slave/kajira, I'll tell you with no crap or vague promises. I'll lay the cards on the table and expect you to do the same. That way we have something to build on, unless you have decided that I am not your cup of tea......

If I do like you and something primal kicks in on a mutual basis, I am a Romantic (EDwardian style) and I will woo you with flowery phrases, kiss the back of your hand, your wrist and the palm of your hand.. I'll even kiss your neck and your eyes.. yes I'm a flirt but never just to lead some one up the garden path.. nor ito the bedroom. If you enjoy playing the erotic, intimate flirting game, I'll enjoy it too. It is not a mind fuck but two peoplewho like each other sharing a very old fashion time.. I guess one or two of you may have figured this about me anyway.....



collegebeauty -> RE: who should make the first move? (3/6/2006 8:52:20 AM)

I never would have met my Dom if I hadn't approached Him. I was actually out of the age range he usually looks for (I'm too young). However, as I was unaware of this, I sent him a respectful e-mail saying that I had enjoyed reading his profile and would like to know more about a particular point he made in it. Because my e-mail seemed articulare and mature, he went ahead and e-mailed me back. I do tend to be more mature than most "college kids" and we found that we have many things in common. He has since expressed to me his appreciation that I made contact. He says that he was impressed by the fact that I had the courage to make the first move and was willing to risk rejection.



MsPurrmeow -> RE: who should make the first move? (3/6/2006 9:31:00 AM)

The specific features of the slaves or submissives that I interact with are best presented when they approach me. I want a person who is strong, confident, assertive, and fearless in many aspects. Approaching me, not only makes me aware of their presence, but cuts through 90% of my filters immediately.

The stalkers who stare from across the room and spend the whole evening "being subtle" just annoy me. Those are the ones that have always ended up wanting me to do all of the work in the relationship, including holding both sides of a conversation. I'm not going to do that anymore. Being able to speak your mind as well as the ability to start a topical conversation gives you a handful of gold stars right from the beginning. How much better can it get?

While I'm all for a bit of flirting, "playing hard to get" does nothing for me.



justatoy2 -> RE: who should make the first move? (3/6/2006 10:05:30 AM)

people are people. That is how i approach anyone. In a very courteous and friendly manner. I love social situations..live for them. So i tend to be very friendly and outgoing. I will approach people to talk with, but that doesn't mean i am interested in them as a partner. Usually what happens with me is i meet people based on friendship and then some flirting will begin on both sides. But if it goes beyond flirting, i will usually wait until i get some signal from the Dominant that he is interested. Usually when they grab you by the back of the hair and kiss you hard thats a good sign....lol.



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