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RE: Age Limits - 12/17/2005 9:13:29 AM   
YveGee


Posts: 39
Joined: 10/5/2004
From: Dallas - Fort Worth Metroplex
Status: offline 		Recently I had to raise my age limit from 27 to 33. The reason is that we're in different stages of life.

I'm not interested in getting married and starting a family. They are.

In the last 3 years, I have lost 3 subs (ages 28-32) to vanilla women (ages 22-25) who want to get married and start a family. I've gotten tired of dealing with all the drama of "she's vanilla but she is everything else I want" and "you're kinky and everything I want in a Domme, but you won't marry me." (Of course not! I'm already married!)

My upper limit depends on health. If you're in good health and getting it checked very regularly by a doctor, I will consider you. Older subs have already tried the "married vanilla but it didn't work out because she's not kinky" routine. The drama is over.

Yve

(in reply to DarknessCalls)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Age Limits - 12/18/2005 6:57:58 PM   
MissHarlet


Posts: 2728
Joined: 9/11/2005
From: El Paso , TX US
Status: offline 		For me the age restrictions I have in my profile suit me because I seek a LTR and find I have more in common with people within 10 years of my own age.

As was stated here before .. I do not choose to raise anymore children and if a submissive is much younger than I, he will probably either want to have children or have those he is raising.

I am not saying there will never be an exception but it would take a very outstanding person to interest me enough to even give them a chance. Yes I may miss out on wonderful people ... but that is still my choice.

Those that are too much younger often make good friends but they are not for me long term... Im <EG> almost old ( Old is anyone 10 years older than I am on any given day) and set in my ways. So it all boils down to MY preferences and those are what count in my life these days .

(in reply to DarknessCalls)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Age Limits - 12/19/2005 5:27:29 AM   
MsCece2u


Posts: 85
Joined: 9/10/2005
From: DC
Status: offline 		My age restriction is no one below the age of 21 to be considered as a sub but to be honest since reading the submissives posts on this board I am doing some serious reconsideration. I guess hesitance on My part before has always been because how can they know at 18. But I have to admit I knew at a young age 22. So I am opening Myself to discussions with ones that are younger. I have learned that age is a state of mind. In the last year I have met so many subs that fall into My preferred range but are freaking clueless as to what this lifestyle is all about.



_____________________________

Ms Cece
Tis better to let people think that you are a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

(in reply to MissHarlet)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Age Limits - 12/19/2005 8:12:24 AM   
sothernnyte


Posts: 95
Joined: 11/22/2005
Status: offline 		as for an age limit if i were to be taken as someone's sub... They would have to be at least my age or close, 33. not only do i believe You must live in the Life for awhile to be a good Dominant, but also have outside life experiences to draw from, while i think younger is suitable for training and submitting.
sincerely
sothernnyte

(in reply to MsCece2u)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Age Limits - 12/19/2005 8:21:37 AM   
MsCece2u


Posts: 85
Joined: 9/10/2005
From: DC
Status: offline 		sothern

I have met many who have stated they couldnt submit to someone younger than them. So you are definitely not alone. But lately have met some older Dominants who leave much to be desired as far as maturity level. Go figure

_____________________________

Ms Cece
Tis better to let people think that you are a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

(in reply to sothernnyte)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Age Limits - 12/19/2005 8:24:57 AM   
sothernnyte


Posts: 95
Joined: 11/22/2005
Status: offline 		*giving a charming grin*

MsCece, that is why i tactfully avoid Dominants that fall into that immature category. and i am thankful to say that You dont.

sothernnyte

(in reply to MsCece2u)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Age Limits - 12/19/2005 10:01:33 AM   
UtopianRanger


Posts: 3251
Status: offline
quote:

The reason is that we're in different stages of life.


This is far and way the most important aspect of compatibility as it relates to age. It's very important to be able ascertain this early on and stick to your guns. If you did everything ten years ago that the person you are with is doing now, your gonna end up in trouble down the line.


- The Ranger

< Message edited by UtopianRanger -- 12/19/2005 10:03:07 AM >

_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton


(in reply to YveGee)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Age Limits - 12/19/2005 2:52:28 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I definitely agree that breeding is an issue when it comes to selecting a mate. I have known since young childhood that I didn't want kids----and even now that the factory is effectively CLOSED, I think that issue has to be made clear!

Life stages are important things, but there are life stages in the scene, too. One of the reasons I steer clear of newbies to the scene is that I think it isn't totally fair to them that I have as much experience as I do. Sure, I have heaps of new things to learn still, and skills to continue honing, but the things I don't like or am not interested in are just that---stuff that bores me or icks me out. I am not going over that old territory again. Chastity devices? Sorry. Enemas? Ummm.........bored now.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to UtopianRanger)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Age Limits - 1/29/2006 7:17:41 PM   
blackpearl81


Posts: 506
Joined: 8/30/2005
From: Home of the Yankees
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GQponyboy

I have recently joined the site and have been browsing through the personals to find a Female Dominant. It seems that; just when I have found the mature and experienced Dom I am in search of, the profile reads "under 30 need not apply". I am 25 and precieve myself to be very respectful and humbing to others. Why do some Doms make the restriction? I am eager to learn and wish I was given the chance as opposed to being blocked from the start, however maybe there are things I have not considered. Any insight would be greatly appreciated.

In Honor and Obiedience
GQPonyboy


Hmm.. my inital thought is because They are searching for something specific.

I'll use myself as an example.. I'm 24 years old.. (or 18 with 6 years exp. :P) anyways.. one.. umm.. characteristic? Of a Domme that I am seeking, is nurturing/maternity..

For me.. that could come from someone around my age... or.. it could come from someone "older"...(my definition of "older" is 34 +)
( dont beat me..pwease :'( )

To me, my Domme being a sort of "Mommy" to me, would feel natural..

I had something else I was going to say in regards to this.. but I forgot :(
Some questions you have to ask yourself are:

1. Aside from my submission to Her..what am I prepared to offer Her?
2. How can I get her attention and keep it?

One thing you have to take into consideration is the number of "fakes"... the ones who say they're ready to do this this and that.. then when push comes to shove..they cant/wont (I'm not saying you personally.. I'm talking in generalities.. I'm sure there are Dominas out there that have gone through this)

I hope this gives you some insight... above all.. remember that regardless.. these are Her choices.. respect it :)

*V*

"With the birds ill share this lonely view"


(in reply to GQponyboy)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Age Limits - 1/29/2006 7:42:28 PM   
MadameDahlia


Posts: 2021
Joined: 8/11/2004
From: SoCal aka Hell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: arson982

My Mistress is 601 and I am 48 and I another Mistress that would love to have me and she is 66


Pardon my French... but holy crap!! That's got to be a typo... or a stab at humor.

And on a different note...

I've got an age limit... though I don't list it in my profile... and there are sometimes exceptions to the rule.

I want a specific level of emotional maturity, intelligence and physical attractiveness in anyone I consider as a submissive/slave.

I tend to find people around my age much more physically appealing than those who are ten or more years older than myself. There have been exceptions to that rule.

Maturity and intelligence (or the lack thereof) can be found spanning the ages.

As a result I'm left with certain self-imposed restrictions created by preferential bias.

Most people (Vanilla folk, Dom/mes and submissives alike) do the same thing. Anyone professing to have absolutely no bias when it comes to choosing a mate, partner, lover or even simply a friend is most likely delusional, lying or pathological in some fashion.

< Message edited by MadameDahlia -- 1/29/2006 7:44:03 PM >

_____________________________

Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
--R. D. Laing

"Oh, but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

(in reply to arson982)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Age Limits - 1/30/2006 2:54:59 PM   
londonplaything


Posts: 12
Joined: 7/6/2005
Status: offline 		Well, she sounds like she is only interested in people in their 30's

(in reply to GQponyboy)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Age Limits - 1/30/2006 5:15:23 PM   
MysticalPhoenix


Posts: 212
Joined: 11/30/2005
From: Kelloggsville, Vanilla County MI
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GQponyboy

I have recently joined the site and have been browsing through the personals to find a Female Dominant. It seems that; just when I have found the mature and experienced Dom I am in search of, the profile reads "under 30 need not apply". I am 25 and precieve myself to be very respectful and humbing to others. Why do some Doms make the restriction?

In Honor and Obiedience
GQPonyboy


As other posters have said, because it's our preference, and because we can.

I have heard from a lot of guys my age and I always say no. I have found that I have more in common with people older than I am and younger than I am, than people my own age.

I had a relationship a few years ago with someone 16 years younger than myself. Most of my prior relationships had been with people 10-15 years older than I am. The only exception was my former sub who was the same age as I am, and we didn't have much in common.

It's the same with my friends, they tend to either be older or younger, but very rarely the same age.

When I was looking for someone recently, I decided to find someone older, who also had real life experience. That was my preference. My new boy is considerably older than I am, and has had real life experience. Exactly what I was looking for.

Instead of worrying about the people who don't want you because of age, lack of r/l experience (perceived or actual), etc., keep searching for the people who are looking for you, because regardless of whatever specific characteristics are yours, someone is looking for a sub just like you.

Phoenix

_____________________________

---------------------------------------------------------
Every one sees what you appear to be, few really know what you are.

(in reply to GQponyboy)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Age Limits - 1/30/2006 5:34:05 PM   
Real0ne


Posts: 21189
Joined: 10/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GQponyboy
It seems that; just when I have found the mature and experienced Dom I am in search of, the profile reads "under 30 need not apply". In Honor and Obiedience
GQPonyboy


Be thankful that they did! CM has mail controls. Many set these mail controls for age and state and it automatically routes your email into the garbage bin and they keep the settings a secret from you!!!

This is really a kool thing except it is extremely abused. Many do not list the ages they are looking for in their profiles, or distance or that they do not answer mail if you dont cap anything to do with them and all other kinds of things. they just set it in the mail controls unknown to you the writer.

So you spend your time writing only to have it redirected into their garbage cans of no fault of your own. so you wait only to find your email never gets read and eventually falls of the edge of the cm expiration date.

The moral of the story is BE GLAD they had the courtesy to list it and hope they included everything to match their mail controls!!!

r1

(in reply to GQponyboy)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Age Limits - 1/31/2006 12:01:20 PM   
MysticalPhoenix


Posts: 212
Joined: 11/30/2005
From: Kelloggsville, Vanilla County MI
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Real0ne

Be thankful that they did! CM has mail controls. Many set these mail controls for age and state and it automatically routes your email into the garbage bin and they keep the settings a secret from you!!!

This is really a kool thing except it is extremely abused. Many do not list the ages they are looking for in their profiles, or distance or that they do not answer mail if you dont cap anything to do with them and all other kinds of things. they just set it in the mail controls unknown to you the writer.


It's a double edge sword, RealOne. When seeking a partner, I have invariably listed an age range in my profile (here and elsewhere).

As a result, I get all sorts of crap from people who don't fit my age range, but want me, and think that criticism is the way to convince me that I should choose them. When I was looking for (and found) a younger man to date because I felt that the men 10-15 years older than I am were getting too old and too boring, I caught all sorts of hell from older men, including armchair psychoanalysis. How dare I not want them! There must be something very wrong with me. Perhaps even some sort of mental illness. Whatever...

And when I decided that I wanted an older man this time around, I heard from men my age or younger whining because I didn't want them, and trying to convince me otherwise. I found it particularly humorous when a self-identified submissive male wrote to me and told me what I really wanted.

So, don't think that people who are looking for a particular age range and don't publicize it are abusing their privileges. They may have just wish to avoid the behavior that I described above-which happened on both vanilla and bdsm personals sites.

Phoenix


_____________________________

---------------------------------------------------------
Every one sees what you appear to be, few really know what you are.

(in reply to Real0ne)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Age Limits - 1/31/2006 12:44:31 PM   
Real0ne


Posts: 21189
Joined: 10/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MysticalPhoenix


quote:

ORIGINAL: Real0ne

Be thankful that they did! CM has mail controls. Many set these mail controls for age and state and it automatically routes your email into the garbage bin and they keep the settings a secret from you!!!

This is really a kool thing except it is extremely abused. Many do not list the ages they are looking for in their profiles, or distance or that they do not answer mail if you dont cap anything to do with them and all other kinds of things. they just set it in the mail controls unknown to you the writer.


It's a double edge sword, RealOne. When seeking a partner, I have invariably listed an age range in my profile (here and elsewhere).

As a result, I get all sorts of crap from people who don't fit my age range, but want me, and think that criticism is the way to convince me that I should choose them. When I was looking for (and found) a younger man to date because I felt that the men 10-15 years older than I am were getting too old and too boring, I caught all sorts of hell from older men, including armchair psychoanalysis. How dare I not want them! There must be something very wrong with me. Perhaps even some sort of mental illness. Whatever...

And when I decided that I wanted an older man this time around, I heard from men my age or younger whining because I didn't want them, and trying to convince me otherwise. I found it particularly humorous when a self-identified submissive male wrote to me and told me what I really wanted.

So, don't think that people who are looking for a particular age range and don't publicize it are abusing their privileges. They may have just wish to avoid the behavior that I described above-which happened on both vanilla and bdsm personals sites.

Phoenix




yeh i think i mentioned that soemwhere that you gals are bombarded with garbage mail.

What i was trying to convey is that many people do not list in their profile the age, in or out of state and whatever else they put on the controls.

The problem is when people set their mail controls for say 25 - 35 but do not list that in their profile that they are seeking 25 - 35 ok. or they set it to local only but do not mention this in their profile either.

So now someone who is 36 or out of state writes to this person has no idea his email is being file 13'd because he is 1 year older than the setting in the profile owners mail controls.

Many people i have written to never open my mail, that means they have mail controls set that they did not mention on their profile to make it known to me such as age limits and therefore they never even see it because it is getting canned. Hardly my fault, hardly worth the time it takes to write the next profile. so i dont unless something really catches my eye.

which means i just wasted my time writing because or their failure to list what these settings are. and i wrote to support but hey they can care less. this site has done a wonderful job helping the people who receive these emails but has done nothing to help the writers be aware of what those mail controls are set at.

i have big problems writing to someone only to discover they never seen it because their mail controls are a best kept secret. this has happened often enough that i tend not to write anymore.


(in reply to MysticalPhoenix)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Age Limits - 1/31/2006 5:39:05 PM   
MysticalPhoenix


Posts: 212
Joined: 11/30/2005
From: Kelloggsville, Vanilla County MI
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Real0ne


which means i just wasted my time writing because or their failure to list what these settings are. and i wrote to support but hey they can care less. this site has done a wonderful job helping the people who receive these emails but has done nothing to help the writers be aware of what those mail controls are set at.

i have big problems writing to someone only to discover they never seen it because their mail controls are a best kept secret. this has happened often enough that i tend not to write anymore.


The functionality of the site is limited in some ways, compared to other personal ad sites, particularly in that you can't see exactly what someone is looking for like you can on Yahoo and other personal sites, where you can see age ranges, distance, racial preferences, etc., in someone's profile and know whether or not it's worth bothering to contact them.

However, it has a big advantage over these other sites. It's free.

And I'm sure it is annoying to have your time wasted by sending email to people who don't read them, but if you look at it from the recipient's point of view, they've decided not to have theirs wasted by reading emails from subs (if they are looking for a Dominant) or Dominants (if they are looking for a sub), people in other countries, that are the wrong age or the wrong gender, etc.

Phoenix



_____________________________

---------------------------------------------------------
Every one sees what you appear to be, few really know what you are.

(in reply to Real0ne)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Age Limits - 1/31/2006 6:03:56 PM   
Real0ne


Posts: 21189
Joined: 10/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MysticalPhoenix

However, it has a big advantage over these other sites. It's free.

And I'm sure it is annoying to have your time wasted by sending email to people who don't read them, but if you look at it from the recipient's point of view, they've decided not to have theirs wasted by reading emails from subs (if they are looking for a Dominant) or Dominants (if they are looking for a sub), people in other countries, that are the wrong age or the wrong gender, etc.

Phoenix


yahoo, msn and aol all have free messenger and profiles, which is what i use. talking with a domme now as i type this, but not to worry i multi task so well she wont see me miss a beat ;) lol

you see i do not have any issue with their choice of what they want. i only take issue that they do not say it on their profile.

If they said it on their profile i would respect it so they would not get letters from me you see?

But they dont say it on their profile, they just let the mail controls take over.

i cant respect something they do not tell me about. so like a dummy i write only to discover i wasted my time because it got trashed. thats my point you see?

not sure how else i can explain it.

try this. set your mail controls to reject anyone under 90.

read your profile and pretend it says "you are looking for a kool dude". nothing more is on your profile k...

you dont see anything on that profile that indicates your mail settings and

nothing you just read in the profile has flagged you not to write.

so write to your profile send it and it will get dumped into the garbage.

even tho "all" your profile says is you are looking for a kool dude, you see?

in this case you have not flagged someone so that they have any information so they can disqualify themselves and not to write if they are under 90. thus you wrote to yourself and you will never see it because its in the garbage bin.

the more i explain this the more confused i get lol does that make better sense now?

Oh yeh peeps can go look in there but who looks in the garbage can? lol

do you see what i am saying now?


(in reply to MysticalPhoenix)
Profile   Post #: 37
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