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Esclava2one -> What do you think? (10/8/2008 1:09:45 PM)
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This morning i asked my Master for release, which He granted. Although i care for Him deeply, His constant need to reschedule O/our sessions really started to get to me and that is why i asked for release and at times the reschedule was rescheduled and then never happened at all. At times when He had to reschedule i made other plans to do other things and if whatever He had dropped me to do fell through, then He expected me to change what I decided to do because of His cancellation. i would have been happy to do so if the time i was notified was not so short and most of the time i would not be ready. i guess i should say that He lives about 70 miles from me. So if He calls at 7 and says my plans have changed come over it takes me about an hour to change, hour and an half to get to His home, the session will be about two hours, and then drive home to be ready for work at 5 am.
He said i was being selfish, i have been with Him for about 4 months and have been in His prescence once. I have a strong desire to serve, but because He was unable or unavailable to train i feel my training had basically stopped. About the last week or so He has not answered my text or answers them hours later. The other day He asked me to call Him in the evening and when i sent a text asking to call He said no. i have been faithful to Him, He required that i have no sexual contact with anyone physical, verbal or otherwise which i was happy to comply. i have done everything He required of me and was starting to feel neglected and ignored. i honestly could not take it anymore thus asking for release. i felt it would have been different if He would have at least explain to me the reasons for His behavior, which after i asked to be released He did, but i felt it was too late. i was required to text Him and asked for anything i wanted to do outside my home, including going to and leaving work, breaks, and such and to tell Him when returning. So when He does not answer my text about leaving the home i either have to stay in or defy His orders, which for me i felt was a no win situation. When asking for release He said i was irrational and being a brat because i was not getting my way. He did not understand that i really needed some sort of contact with Him and i was basically getting none, which i did explain to Him on several occasions, so i was not something He was not aware. I would have accepted a simple text, an email or even a voice mail saying nothing but hi. What do you think was i hasty, irrational or being selfish.
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