RE: What do you think the "average submale" should do?

RE: What do you think the "average submale" should do? (Full Version)

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Lashra -> RE: What do you think the "average submale" should do? (10/13/2008 8:32:46 PM)
Well my sub male is not "average" and I did not meet him on CM so I guess that leaves him out of your equation. My sub male is a great guy and I love him very much. He serves me well, is very loving, obedient and pleasing. He has lots of friends and family that care about him. He masturbates when I tell him too and I allow him to watch some porn. He aspires to become a chef one day and I support him in that. He will submit to no one but me. So we have a good thing going between us. Now what about the "average" sub who does fit your equation? Well he needs to take a good look at himself and take his hand off his cock and get a good grip on reality. If he wants to meet a Domme and form a relationship he has to have something going for himself. Let's face it a man would not want a woman who had nothing going for her so the opposite rings true the other way around. Just my thoughts. ~Lashra

undergroundsea -> RE: What do you think the "average submale" should do? (10/13/2008 9:41:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OneMoreWaste It's my perception that the general female dominant's perception I sense that this thread is a rant about rants or generalizations against submissive men. Yes, I have seen the points listed to be suggested as generalizations against submissive men in recent threads and I sometimes find it weary. I don't, however, fully agree with the OP. I agree that rants outnumber positive threads but that is just how it is. Generally frustration serves as a greater motivator to write about something in comparison to a status of being content. Also, I think some posters tend to complain against men more frequently than the average poster--you will find some names to be common as originators of rants, or as regular contributors to such rants. So multiple rants might in fact be originated by one person. And when such a rant or complaint is written, some other posters whose experience has been similar to the issue at hand chime in to agree, which creates a perception that the generalization being suggested by the discussion is held to be true by more women than actually is true. Cheers, Sea

GoodgirlFind -> RE: What do you think the "average submale" should do? (10/14/2008 3:17:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lashra Now what about the "average" sub who does fit your equation? Well he needs to take a good look at himself and take his hand off his cock and get a good grip on reality. If he wants to meet a Domme and form a relationship he has to have something going for himself. Let's face it a man would not want a woman who had nothing going for her so the opposite rings true the other way around. Just my thoughts. ~Lashra Gosh you should see what I experience out there. LOL. I have to agree with what you said as it hits home at my reality in talking to many subbies out there. It can weigh you down after some time unfortunately. I think there are too many horny men out there who really want nothing to do with the domina, except to get off. It's like it's all a big joke to them.

GoodgirlFind -> RE: What do you think the "average submale" should do? (10/14/2008 3:18:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hopelesslyInvo quote: ORIGINAL: Venatrix And you've got an enormous . . . hallway. actually it's pretty narrow, i can't even fully extend my elbows while walking down it, it's about the typical width of a doorway~ quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus And you're sweet, too! shhhh, it's best not to mention that right after 'a modest proposal' has been brought up! [sm=afraid.gif] Now why aren't there more of you. Your just the sweetest as they come!!

MsStarlett -> RE: What do you think the "average submale" should do? (10/14/2008 4:49:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: undergroundsea I sense that this thread is a rant about rants or generalizations against submissive men. Yes, I have seen the points listed to be suggested as generalizations against submissive men in recent threads and I sometimes find it weary. Ahhh... but you see, Sea... Rants are very therapeutic. We have an entire section for just "Positive Experiences". It's not nearly as active as the ranting sections. Rants help the OP by letting them 'vent' and get things off their chest. It's also good for them to hear other posters comments because it helps the OP get a better handle on the situation by analyzing what others have done in the same situation. It helps the follow up posters realize they are NOT alone in the problems and therefore they don't feel quite so much like "There must be something wrong with ME because everyone else is so happy and I have so many problems." (I'll use me as an example because everyone knows that if I even vaguely hint at another person, I get in big trouble. eye roll) If all I ever posted was "My Westie is so wonderful! He's every thing I need or want." First off, it'd be dull as dishwater. No one cares. Life is Conflict. Resolution of Conflict promotes growth. If everyone was happy... we'd all be stagnant Eloi.

undergroundsea -> RE: What do you think the "average submale" should do? (10/14/2008 7:18:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsStarlett Rants are very therapeutic. <snip> It's also good for them to hear other posters comments because it helps the OP get a better handle on the situation by analyzing what others have done in the same situation. I agree entirely. I agree that frustration is more likely to motivate one to write about an issue than a status quo or a state of being content. I also agree that rants serve a purpose. Indeed they enable venting and the type of communication you describe. Also, they bring attention to behavior that is or has potential to be problematic. The down side of rants against the other side is that they carry negativity, and they can create an us versus them air. And rants often take the behavior of one or a few and generalize it to all or many, which feels unfair to those to whom the generalization does not apply. That is not to say that rants should not be done because of this negativity. However, I think there are ways to achieve the benefits of rants and minimize the cons through appropriately wording the rant. I apply this perspective to rants from women, and to rants from men, be they about financial stuff, or something along the lines of this thread. As for my reference to weary, there was a sub who used to post here who constantly criticized and spoke negatively of professional dommes. I think this constant negativity affected how he was perceived by dommes in general. A constant flow of criticism and negativity can create the same result for anyone. Cheers, Sea

azropedntied -> RE: What do you think the "average submale" should do? (10/14/2008 7:45:17 PM)
<< just glad I am so NOT average >>

OneMoreWaste -> RE: What do you think the "average submale" should do? (10/14/2008 10:43:46 PM)
Actually, this is a fairly serious question. Unwanted animals have the pound. Unwanted children have foster care. Adults who aren't wanted by employers have homeless shelters. But here we've got a numerically significant lump of people that just aren't wanted on an interpersonal level. Since we're obviously something of a plague to Female Dominants I was curious as to whether there are any plausible solutions out there.

stef -> RE: What do you think the "average submale" should do? (10/14/2008 10:49:19 PM)
We could rent a wood chipper. ~stef

chiaThePet -> RE: What do you think the "average submale" should do? (10/14/2008 11:30:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: stef We could rent a wood chipper. OMG! We're bringing in Tiger? Chipping with a 3 wood can be an odd but great shot. And a hush falls over the gallery chia* (the pet)

MsStarlett -> RE: What do you think the "average submale" should do? (10/15/2008 5:36:32 AM)
Good Points, Sea. Y'all are just going to have to pardon me for the rest of the month. I'm currently working 66 hours a week. I doubt I'll do much more than rant for the next 2 - 3 weeks.

RubberLovers777 -> RE: What do you think the "average submale" should do? (10/15/2008 2:15:36 PM)
Hmmm the 'average submissive male'...well I can't speak for them all but what I've seen in the past were men who liked things rough and called it kinky. Now I have really lucked out when pet contacted me, as he's very social (even more than myself), does have his own direction in life and is a self motivated, does not hang on to my every word. Though instead actually has his own life and knows how to live it. He's very much the 'anti-subby' because if I would have met him in the normal world I would have never taken him for being submissive in the least. He's very outspoken when needs to be or appropriate, very orientated to what needs to be done and does it, and very authoritative in the world. However when he's with me he opens to the other side of himself. My advise to Domme's who are still looking is, don't settle for less than your looking for or you will be disappointed. Don't find the 'average sub' find the one that matches your likes and tastes the absolute best. I did and I couldn't be happier. ~Lorelei

allowmetoserv -> RE: What do you think the "average submale" should do? (10/15/2008 2:22:36 PM)
i hate my life because im in love with the idea of submitting to woman but girls love me...to dominate them...and i hate them for it...but somehow they create this perception of me based on my dominant personality...life is complicated...i wish there was a book with all the answers..

OneMoreWaste -> RE: What do you think the "average submale" should do? (10/15/2008 3:43:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RubberLovers777 Now I have really lucked out when pet contacted me, as he's very social (even more than myself), does have his own direction in life and is a self motivated, does not hang on to my every word. Though instead actually has his own life and knows how to live it. He's very much the 'anti-subby' because if I would have met him in the normal world I would have never taken him for being submissive in the least. He's very outspoken when needs to be or appropriate, very orientated to what needs to be done and does it, and very authoritative in the world. However when he's with me he opens to the other side of himself. I know, I know... the only submissive male worth having is one who shows no submissive qualities whatsoever. This isn't about them. They're all spoken for, fawned over, and can go to hell. quote: My advise to Domme's who are still looking is, don't settle for less than your looking for or you will be disappointed. Don't find the 'average sub' find the one that matches your likes and tastes the absolute best. I did and I couldn't be happier. ~Lorelei Terrible advice. As the OP of this thread, I'm going to have to ask the audience to disregard those instructions. I recommend the following technique: [sm=lalala.gif]

FetishRose -> RE: What do you think the "average submale" should do? (10/15/2008 3:57:13 PM)
If your goal in life is to be an "average submale"...its time for a new goal! Strive to be the best that you can be, but be yourself! A Lady is going to be far more interested in your intelligence, your sense of humor, your kindness and willingness to please her. Unfortunately, the stereotype is out there that submissive males are all the things you listed because, sadly, many of them have no concept of true submission, and for them it is simply a sexual fetish or a game. Thus, the "do-me" submissive. Good, truly submissive men realize their part in the equation of Feminine-led D/s. They know that they are in an active partnership, or are seeking an active and healthy partnership and go about trying to find one as you may seek a job employment...by putting your best foot forward.

ShyAllison1919 -> RE: What do you think the "average submale" should do? (10/17/2008 10:15:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FetishRose If your goal in life is to be an "average submale"...its time for a new goal! Strive to be the best that you can be, but be yourself! A Lady is going to be far more interested in your intelligence, your sense of humor, your kindness and willingness to please her. Unfortunately, the stereotype is out there that submissive males are all the things you listed because, sadly, many of them have no concept of true submission, and for them it is simply a sexual fetish or a game. Thus, the "do-me" submissive. Good, truly submissive men realize their part in the equation of Feminine-led D/s. They know that they are in an active partnership, or are seeking an active and healthy partnership and go about trying to find one as you may seek a job employment...by putting your best foot forward. Perfectly true and eloquently expressed. We sometimes forget that we're people at heart and our sexual activities are merely an aspect of our selves. Too many put the cart (of sexual pleasure) in front of the horse (of being good people).

shivermetimbers -> RE: What do you think the "average submale" should do? (10/18/2008 1:28:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subexploring But I do have to admit that the chronic masturbator part is uncomfortably close to the mark. To kind of change the words to a country song around a bit: "I was masturbating, when masturbating wasn't cool"

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