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How would you like to be introduced... - 10/9/2008 9:56:15 PM   
smitty10130


Posts: 2
Joined: 11/3/2007
Status: offline 		So I am just wondering how people would like an introduction, what will get your attention to say hey this person actually read my profile or they may have something that I like.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: How would you like to be introduced... - 10/9/2008 10:46:51 PM   
BeIgnited


Posts: 191
Joined: 6/23/2008
Status: offline 		When I was looking, I appreciated something to the effect of: (and very generally)

Hello, I'm X and I saw/read that you said/did/are into X. This piqued my interest because... And then ask some related questions.

I'm terrible at small talk, which is why I included the questions bit. I'm always at a loss as to how to respond to someone who doesn't give me a direct opening, at least until conversation is flowing a bit more naturally. My reaction tends to be "Thanks for sharing."


(in reply to smitty10130)
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RE: How would you like to be introduced... - 10/9/2008 10:50:43 PM   
Lairaimmortelle


Posts: 28
Joined: 5/21/2008
Status: offline 		I prefer a simple hello, or something of that sort. In my opinion the sex talk comes later...  I mean I ignore those who go "hello I'm so and so, want to cam to cam?" I like being apporached as though I am human, and the person contacting me is human.

(in reply to BeIgnited)
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RE: How would you like to be introduced... - 10/9/2008 10:55:02 PM   
moonvine


Posts: 780
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline 		Something thoughtful, that indicates the person actually read my profile, and mentions common interests we may have. 

If someone has X down as a "lives for" and I have X as a "hard limit" it makes me wonder why they would think we would be compatible. 

I like to be approached with respect, the same way I would expect anyone to approach me in vanilla setting. 

Unlike many women on this site I get little mail and try to answer most of it, but I expect that the people who write and address me as "Dear sub" do not like the responses they get.


_____________________________

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(in reply to smitty10130)
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RE: How would you like to be introduced... - 10/9/2008 11:11:14 PM   
whycantipost


Posts: 18
Joined: 10/9/2008
Status: offline 		i must say that i hate emails that are obviously scripted... like Hi. i am blah. from blah. i like....


you get the picture... and its,always like a page long and has nothing to do with anything...

always always always love when people show me they've read the profile and  show a little humor...

but thats jus me.

(in reply to moonvine)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: How would you like to be introduced... - 10/9/2008 11:19:42 PM   
zakkan


Posts: 606
Joined: 4/15/2008
Status: offline 		Just a simple 2 letter "hi" would suffice for me, but they must have viewed my profile first. I think that is a requirement for many people here.

_____________________________

Silence! I keel you!

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RE: How would you like to be introduced... - 10/9/2008 11:35:04 PM   
whycantipost


Posts: 18
Joined: 10/9/2008
Status: offline 		i absolutely hate the hi's

or how are you's...

give me just slightly more to work with please...

i probably wont answer those ones. not to say i am popular but i dont have time to anser those... i am a blunt person and very upfront, get to the point.

"i am interested in you because of this. i am like this. Do you think we could talk?"

but yes i cant lie that i do check to see if they've viewed my profile.

(in reply to zakkan)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: How would you like to be introduced... - 10/9/2008 11:41:30 PM   
cravesdom


Posts: 5219
Joined: 3/28/2008
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		The ones that used to make me respond when I was looking were heartfelt messages that actually showed they had read my profile. Simple hi's and how are you's generally didn't get a response. Ones that jumped right into what they wanted to do to me or for me sexually also did not get a response. Especially when I went to their profile and it was basically blank. I needed to know that someone had something in common with me or was someone I might want to spend the time getting to know before I spent that time writing a response. Humor goes a long way too.

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Finally home where I belong.

"A lot of disappointed people have been left standing on the street corner waiting for the bus marked 'Perfection.' " Donald Kennedy

(in reply to whycantipost)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: How would you like to be introduced... - 10/10/2008 12:03:39 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: smitty10130

So I am just wondering how people would like an introduction, what will get your attention to say hey this person actually read my profile or they may have something that I like.


I would prefere to be approached by someone who did not need to ask how to write an introduction from a bunch of strangers.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to smitty10130)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: How would you like to be introduced... - 10/10/2008 12:17:01 AM   
VivaciousSub


Posts: 446
Joined: 9/7/2008
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: smitty10130

So I am just wondering how people would like an introduction, what will get your attention to say hey this person actually read my profile or they may have something that I like.


I would prefere to be approached by someone who did not need to ask how to write an introduction from a bunch of strangers.

the.dark.


You've never needed to go to a group of people and ask for advice before? Look, maybe he's new to online dating. We were all new once, and occasionally protocol online can differ from R/T. It's not a wank question and didn't deserve such a snotty answer. You can do better than this, I've seen you.

Ok, OP - I'm posting this from another thread - it's how my Sir approached me, and it worked like a charm. I apologize for my lack of original thought here, but it's after 3am and I have a flight to catch in the morning.

quote:

I met Sir on this site - he made it clear that He had read my profile, liked what He saw and more importantly, why He liked it and then commented on my journal. Then, He told me what it is that He wanted from me but not in a presumptive "you will do this even though you don't know me from Adam" manner. From that, I was able to tell that He had spent time doing His homework, that we found the same types of things to be funny, and that He was intelligent and charming. Furthermore, by making that request, He gave me something concrete to consider.



_____________________________

9.8m/s^2 + VivaciousSub + ground = ouchx10^9th

To yield readily--easily--to the persuasion of a friend is no merit.... To yield without conviction is no compliment to the understanding of either. ~ Pride and Prejudice

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: How would you like to be introduced... - 10/10/2008 2:08:10 AM   
michelleryder


Posts: 198
Joined: 5/18/2007
Status: offline 		Like others I like things that indicate people have read my profile or journal. The majority of people who write to me are doing so in a "just friends" way as they realise I have a Master. Theres some really nice people on this site and I try to reply to them all. mich xx 

(in reply to VivaciousSub)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: How would you like to be introduced... - 10/10/2008 2:59:04 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		Yes and this IS my advice.   My answer is the kind of person I would respond to.
Yes, everyone asks questions and learns.  But you cannot learn about an individual from asking a bunch of people all saying the same generic answer.  You ask to get different viewpoints.
That is why I gave my answer.  Someone like myself, and someone like the OP, would not be compatable, therefore he might decide to disregard my thoughts and realise that someone thinks differently to him.  It's all cool.  But if he only gets all the same answers then that gives the idea that everyone thinks the same.
They do not.
 
I find it ironic you call my words snotty and become condecending when your berating me for doing the same thing.  That's hypocrasy.  Call it snotty and be insulting towards my personal preference if you like.  I simply disregard your thoughts because they are pointless to me.  Just as he will my thoughts, if he chooses to.
Maybe you should learn to be a bit more tolerant of peoples personal choice and ideas.
 
the.dark.

< Message edited by Darcyandthedark -- 10/10/2008 3:01:13 AM >

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to VivaciousSub)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How would you like to be introduced... - 10/10/2008 5:01:42 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		i would like a hi or good *insert time of day here*, my name is *insert screenname* and some sort of compliment about my pics and/or questions about my profile since mine is self-explanitory.

however - i get one of the following: one-liners, you're so fat ...i cannot believe you're submissive messages, creepy freaky fetish messages about my feet or long winded messages which includes their phone # and yahooo/msn ids telling me to add them now. 

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...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to smitty10130)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How would you like to be introduced... - 10/10/2008 5:34:06 AM   
ApathyRomance


Posts: 106
Joined: 4/2/2008
Status: offline 		Everyone wants something different.  Be your self.  

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How would you like to be introduced... - 10/10/2008 6:57:59 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		Well, assuming for a moment that this is not a form-letter mass mailing, then something in their profile must've drawn your attention. Whatever it was, why not talk about it? At least, that's what I do. I'm not shopping for subs, but conversation is conversation.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to smitty10130)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: How would you like to be introduced... - 10/10/2008 9:23:57 AM   
giveeverything


Posts: 348
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VivaciousSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: smitty10130

So I am just wondering how people would like an introduction, what will get your attention to say hey this person actually read my profile or they may have something that I like.


I would prefere to be approached by someone who did not need to ask how to write an introduction from a bunch of strangers.

the.dark.


You've never needed to go to a group of people and ask for advice before? Look, maybe he's new to online dating. We were all new once, and occasionally protocol online can differ from R/T. It's not a wank question and didn't deserve such a snotty answer. You can do better than this, I've seen you.

I'm really only responding because I think it takes courage (weirdly, even online) to confront people who are seemingly popular (sigh... high school all over again) and I don't want to leave VivaciousSub holding the bag on this one.  I think VivaciousSub was on point about how the post appeared from the outside.  It seemed oddly aggressive to me.  Take the feedback for what it's worth to you.   And OP... pretty much any indication that you've read my profile will work for me.

< Message edited by giveeverything -- 10/10/2008 9:26:17 AM >

(in reply to VivaciousSub)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: How would you like to be introduced... - 10/10/2008 9:28:23 AM   
Subductrssss


Posts: 97
Joined: 9/28/2008
Status: offline 		READ my profile.

Don't mention things I am not into, take time to understand me through my profile, don't invite me to be in a poly relationship, don't ask if I like to have "this" done to me and send me sex pics.

Do intrigue me, do engage my mind, do tell me about yourself, do show we have common interests

_____________________________

Subductrssss

The reality of the other person lies not in what he reveals to you but in what he cannot reveal to you. Therefore, if you would understand him, listen not to what he says but rather to what he does not say.
Kahlil Gibran

(in reply to smitty10130)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: How would you like to be introduced... - 10/10/2008 9:44:08 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		It's all cool if you find my words 'oddly agressive'.
 
What many fail to observe and I have said this many times, is that there is no facial or vocal inflection present in words posted online.  It isn't like a book where people write pages of descriptions on who is smiling, who is being gentle or who is being obnoxious.  So we rely on our personal thoughts and reactions and people see what they would tend to exude.
 
My words were not intended to be anything more than a personal choice.  What people read into it is what they place on it on a personal level on what they would have meant by it.  That says a lot more about the response of an individual, than the initial writings.
 
I am intrigued by people who percieve popularity on an online forum however and react as you say - in a way that relates to high school as you did.  I don't see the point in it myself.  Even with the people I have met from the forum and I consider a friend, I don't feel a 'need' to back anyone up if I do not agree with their points of view, regardless of subjective popularity.
 
I totally understand you have issues with me giveeverything and I am cool with that.  But I don't find it constructive to the OP and out of respect to the OP I believe you should have taken it off board and not tainted the thread with your personal feelings.  If you have any other issues with me, please feel free to write, but I am not willing to usurp the thread and make it 'all about me' just so 'friends' can validate each other.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to giveeverything)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: How would you like to be introduced... - 10/10/2008 10:02:36 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Talk about a vanilla thing they mentioned in specific. If they say they love miniature golf, don't just say you love it too. Tell them that you still cherish the day you got three holes in one on a course you've never gotten even par on before or since. Respond in a way that keeps the conversation going.

If you are talking to someone at a party and mention a band, do you feel more interest if they say "Oh yes, I like them too" or if they say "I really love their first and third albums but the second one just doesn't seem to match up". Because the latter gives you something more to talk about.

Oh and personally I'd change your profile pic, because you sticking out your tongue just seems childish.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How would you like to be introduced... - 10/10/2008 10:16:19 AM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline 		 
i am not looking,  On my profile, it is fairly obvious i am not looking for anyone and it would be a good  indicator that the person has atleast done more than perv my photos and then types - "Hi, how are you tonight?"...especially when 9 out of 10 times, i get those the next morning!
 
Also, i love getting mail from other forum users so if they indicated that right up front, i would be more inclined to communicate on a social level...otherwise, i just don't have any time to cultivate online-only friendships~

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to smitty10130)
Profile   Post #: 20
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