RE: Am I doing the right thing? (Full Version)

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KMsAngel -> RE: Am I doing the right thing? (10/10/2008 11:50:56 PM)

aw michael, you just keep sounding death knolls for us, don't you? [:(]

i'm "involved" with someone on the other side of the world (where i'm originally from, btw) and rather than looking on it as a dom/sub relationship, i look on it as mostly a FRIEND with power exchange overtones. WHEN i get back over there, we'll "start over" again, but we'll have a basis in friendship and if nothing else ever comes of it, i will have enjoyed it and hopefully brought some happiness into another life for however long we've been talking.

michael is right, extreme LDR's are so not the ideal (why many categorically refuse to do them, no doubt) and i never started chatting with the intention of becoming involved, myself. such is life.



WyldHrt -> RE: Am I doing the right thing? (10/11/2008 12:56:41 AM)

quote:

I'm aware that sounds bitter, but I suppose I have to get through the rest of this alone. Thank you for your time.

Just because most did not say what you wanted to hear doesn't mean that their opinions are without merit. Believe it or not, the majority of posters are trying to help, even if such help involves a smack upside the head with a clue by four.

If we really didn't care, this thread would be on page 3 with 0 replies; believe it.



BeginningAgain -> RE: Am I doing the right thing? (10/11/2008 1:08:07 AM)

I know. It's not so much that nobody said what I wanted to hear. But anything else I could say would sound self-centered and stupid.



ApathyRomance -> RE: Am I doing the right thing? (10/11/2008 1:08:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BeginningAgain

making certain assumptions about the kind of person I am.


You like ice cream.  Don't even lie.



BeginningAgain -> RE: Am I doing the right thing? (10/11/2008 1:13:52 AM)

Yes I do. It's almost safe to say that wasn't an assumption, and certainly not one which bothered me.



ApathyRomance -> RE: Am I doing the right thing? (10/11/2008 1:18:43 AM)

Good!



BeginningAgain -> RE: Am I doing the right thing? (10/11/2008 1:23:42 AM)

Yes. Sorry for worrying you.



kiwisub12 -> RE: Am I doing the right thing? (10/11/2008 6:04:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BeginningAgain

I'm not keen to make another choice. I don't even know where to start. I have too many criteria for a slave, and she met every one. I don't know how I'm meant to find someone else who does without going insane.



with all due respect - i too could be your perfect slave online. I could be 18 with boobs that won't quit and acquiest to your every demand with grace , dignity and intelligence - but i would still be 51, with boobs that have fed two ums, and be clumsy.     Online is the ultimate fantasy.

Please note that i am not saying that your feelings aren't real, but there is a big difference in talking online about serving and actually picking up dirty socks and grocery shopping.

You have to do what everyone else does - go real time and look in the local community ie Oz, rather than overseas.  You take your lumps and go on.
Hugs to you .



BeginningAgain -> RE: Am I doing the right thing? (10/11/2008 4:35:24 PM)

It wasn't about fantasy. After two and a half years, I knew enough about who she was. There was plenty of trust.



Usako -> RE: Am I doing the right thing? (10/11/2008 4:44:53 PM)

Guess you didn't know enough since she choose to have someone local instead.

You never truely know someone, ever. Even people married for years don't know everything. And only talking on line means you REALLY don't know someone. I know you're trying to defend your net fling and hold onto the memories but it's over, time to give up and move on; as everyone said, hopefully with someone local or with more realistic expectations of being local.

She might come back, who knows. But no reason sucking on sour grapes and sitting there waiting for it. Buck up and move on, too many years in life to waste harping on spilled milk.



tweedydaddy -> RE: Am I doing the right thing? (10/11/2008 4:46:30 PM)

Maybe this is a polite way of avoiding telling you she's a man?
You never met her did you?



PanthersMom -> RE: Am I doing the right thing? (10/11/2008 5:00:40 PM)

you're so young.  i'm sure she seemed like the perfect woman, your dream girl.  but that is all it was, a dream.  you never physically connected.  you're caught up in a dream, wake up and smell the coffee son.  anyone can be perfect here online.  you have had some fun and cared for someone, but now she's decided to look for love elsewhere.  it happens in the real world too.  but at least out there in the big bad world you can actually physically meet people and interact with them in real time and in a real and meaningful way.  trust me, it's better out here.  walk away from the keyboard, open the door, and give a real girl a chance.  nobody's perfect, we all have faults.  you couldn't see hers from that far away.  real people have flaws too, including you.  in a true adult relationship you find someone you love despite those faults, someone not just that you can live with, but can't live without.  come back in six months to this post and look at it from a new perspective, one of someone who has actually gotten some real life experience.  it's a wonderful world out there, full of good things and bad, but never dull.
PM



desertdancer -> RE: Am I doing the right thing? (10/11/2008 9:35:20 PM)

Oh geeze, sometimes people just don't get this caring thing right do they?

I am very sorry that your heart is breaking right now.  I do understand the beauty of an extreme long distance relationship, I also understand the pain and frustration of it as well.  When there is a rife, it seems so much bigger then it is because the distance can make you feel powerless against time and space and travel.  I do understand that sometimes a look or simple touch would go so much farther then trying to convey it through text. 

I also understand that falling in love online can be very intense, can be very true and very heartfelt.  I understand how your whole soul can be so caught up in it, how even though you haven't actually been face to face, you can fall so deeply head over heels because the connection isn't physical, it has to be emotional.

When it's all coming from the heart and soul, it truly can be love.  So, please don't let anyone take that from you or make you believe your feelings are less real because you haven't held her hand in person.

The pain your feeling isn't any less real because you've not met face to face.  Pain is pain and yours is real. 

Pain though not fun whilst going through it can be so very beautiful when you let yourself feel it, let yourself live through it, claim it and then thank it for the lesson you learn from it.  It can make you more compassionate and caring and can show you beauty.

Though I will not give you advise on how you should handle your relationship I will tell that you have ever right to feel whatever it is you need to feel.  Wallow in it if you have to then look at it and let it go.

I will also tell you that though I have no idea what will happen in your relationship, I survived a very long distance relationship with my Husband and would never change anything.  I am from the States and he is an Aussie, we met five years ago playing an online game.  We had loads of struggles, loads laughs and well just every emotion you can imagine.  I am now here in Oz and we've just had our two year wedding anniversary.  So long distance can work with patience and caring.

Sadly, Oz doesn't have Ben and Jerry's that I've seen.  It really would help if you had some.





KMsAngel -> RE: Am I doing the right thing? (10/12/2008 5:29:46 AM)

quote:

Sadly, Oz doesn't have Ben and Jerry's that I've seen. It really would help if you had some.


it would. cold rock is ok, but not cutting it. [8D]



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