Things Little Boys Will Teach You (Full Version)

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bondagelover1950 -> Things Little Boys Will Teach You (10/10/2008 8:34:30 AM)

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1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4
inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller
blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape.
It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on
all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When
using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before
you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by
a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too
late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old
Boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't
walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject 'PB & J' sandwiches even though TV commercials show
they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not
like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Victorville , CA has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or
without kids.

25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

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puppen -> RE: Things Little Boys Will Teach You (10/10/2008 9:25:52 AM)

HA!

Wonderful!


...I'm so going to try the bleach thing.




sirsholly -> RE: Things Little Boys Will Teach You (10/10/2008 9:28:40 AM)

it's true...it's all true!![sm=hissyfit.gif]




darchChylde -> RE: Things Little Boys Will Teach You (10/10/2008 11:16:28 AM)

*cough-cough-choke-gag*  Who was the idiot that thought letting me have brake fluid was a good idea?!?!

quote:

ORIGINAL: bondagelover1950
25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.


Seriously, i don't *cough-cough* know what you're talking about.




AMaster -> RE: Things Little Boys Will Teach You (10/10/2008 11:42:02 AM)

[:D][:D][:D]  Thank you!!




BlackPhx -> RE: Things Little Boys Will Teach You (10/10/2008 2:28:01 PM)

And each and every one of us can add to this list...[:D][:D][:D][:D][:D]

26. Telling them not to play with matches is not enough, you must also include the stove, the fireplace, the lit cigarette, the candles and anything else that may or may not have a flame when they start.

poenkitten (whose son set the kitchen on fire playing with the stove and a roll of paper towels...sigh)






calicowgirl -> RE: Things Little Boys Will Teach You (10/10/2008 3:15:54 PM)

Way cute. lol Thanks for sharing.

Cali




darchChylde -> RE: Things Little Boys Will Teach You (10/10/2008 3:29:56 PM)

28:  Enough White Rain can make anything flammable.

It's not just the little boys, sometimes it's the big boys too.




QandA -> RE: Things Little Boys Will Teach You (10/10/2008 3:49:42 PM)

Note to self: Do not read the Humor section while wearing the training gag.

lil Aidan





SlavesKeeper -> RE: Things Little Boys Will Teach You (10/10/2008 7:59:12 PM)

opps think you got me,  was going to test the clorox and brake fliud trick out myself,  smoke bombs can be hilarious when placed in the right location at the right time, but slave mighty-mouth beat me to it.
Hey Sis.... ya gotta admit it, ending three longggggggggg weeks of uninvited compay of the in-laws visiting was enough and it is going to be worth having to repaint a few rooms to get rid of the smell from the smoke bomb that made them decide to finally go home!!!!!! I am rewarding slave mighty-mouth, not disciplining it for setting it off in the house!!




pixidustpet -> RE: Things Little Boys Will Teach You (10/11/2008 1:51:53 AM)

lysol and a lighter=flamethrower

you cannot boil an egg in a microwave with an intact shell (you can if you put a pinprick in the shell)  my dad did that one

if you play with biscuit dough long enough to make it spell out "i love you" in letters, they're gonna be too tough to eat (thank you, first hubby)

if you ask a 13 year old to boil the pasta, you MUST specify "and drain it when tis done".  cause if she lets it "stay warm" in the water, you get glue.

hope that helps.  ;)

kitten




Talandra -> RE: Things Little Boys Will Teach You (10/11/2008 10:27:37 AM)

Do not leave scissors in the reach of 3 year olds, you might wake up needing to go to the hairdresser.

Do not leave a bottle of super glue in reach of a 4 year old you might find a dildo glued to your leg...try explaining that one to the doctor. (Hell do not leave a dildo laying around point...that rises some interesting questions from guest when the kid brings that toy out and asks what mama uses it for.)




BlackPhx -> RE: Things Little Boys Will Teach You (10/11/2008 5:34:11 PM)

Secret weapon of the ER and every one who has ever glued acrylic nails on... Acetone, also called nail Polish Remover, it breaks the Crazy glue bond...slowly but it will do it.

poenkitten a veteran of the crazy glue wars after cleaning up her granddaughter when she glued her own dress to her leg.




youngsubgeoff -> RE: Things Little Boys Will Teach You (10/11/2008 5:43:11 PM)

It IS possible to crazy glue your index finger in your nostril,

Geoff, former babysitter for 4 neighborhood boys (its no wonder theyre mother is crazy)




darchChylde -> RE: Things Little Boys Will Teach You (10/11/2008 6:13:11 PM)

Ma'am sometimes lets me use a knife, scissors, or even a big paper cutter.  So far, so good; but with my track record...

-  Stepping on my own knee.
-  Falling to the floor... from the floor.
-  Being viciously attacked by a forklift, which hit me in the back of the head and knocked me out for a couple of minutes.

... i'm uncertain how wise such trust is.  Sadly, all of the above are true.  *winks*




pixidustpet -> RE: Things Little Boys Will Teach You (10/11/2008 10:41:15 PM)

darch, i wish i could have put some of the "training videos" wolf and his cohorts at work made on youtube....

riding the flatbed cart down the loading dock ramp was one of the milder exploits...

being "sexually harassed"...by the cardboard "hulk" cutout (that was funny as all get out)

oh yeah and taking the stock that had to be thrown out?  oh it had to be "destroyed".  apparently if you hit a bag of stale candy with a baseball bat, the seagulls get REALLY happy to be around....

kitten




sirsholly -> RE: Things Little Boys Will Teach You (10/12/2008 5:44:09 AM)

a two yr old can cram an amazing amount of food into a DVD player. [8|]




BlackPhx -> RE: Things Little Boys Will Teach You (10/12/2008 6:55:52 AM)

Forget about putting temptation out of a two year old to five year old childs reach..unless you have locked it in the tower of London, they can reach it and are ingenious in the methods they use to get there.

poenkitten[:-]




Talandra -> RE: Things Little Boys Will Teach You (10/12/2008 7:09:09 AM)

They love when you hide things up high




persephonee -> RE: Things Little Boys Will Teach You (10/12/2008 8:24:22 AM)

Its important to wear underpants if you are a boy and young enough to wear footie pajamas....my first babysitting job at the next door neighbors house ended with my mom having to come over to redo one of the boys Briss....how the hell was i supposed to know?...i was 12 for gawds sake.




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