Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Reinforcement


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Reinforcement Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Reinforcement - 10/11/2008 2:38:21 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		Ok so some days are crap days right? everything sucks and you have a little wobble. There is a line from my fave comedy when talking about the positives of being in relationship "I need a check on my femininity" this due to the fact that in life she is in a rather masculine role or at least what feels to her like one.

I have had a lot of family problems recently and have therefore had to make lots of decisions the past few days, of course Sir has been supportve but he has also given me space, this is fine but now im starting to need a "check on my submssiveness" I was wondering if people need this what helps them get that check. I am sure that many people will be itching to say that they are always submissive and never feel like it, and thats fine but I am really after some advice. Not only do I want to know what helps check it but how do you bring it up to your partner? I wouldnt want to sound like I am belittling him or anything, not because he lacks confidence just simply because I myself am worried.

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Reinforcement - 10/11/2008 5:11:51 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin
I wouldnt want to sound like I am belittling him or anything, not because he lacks confidence just simply because I myself am worried.


OK, from your description of his handling of this and assertion of his confidence, it sounds like you've got yourself a dom fully capable of handling this entire situation. The obvious question to me is, "Why won't you let him?" You don't honestly believe that he'll feel "belittled". What are you worried about? That you suddenly, right out of the blue, lost your submissiveness somewhere? Check under the nightstand. Seriously, that's not really very plausible. I can't think of a single good reason not to just address the issue directly with him. It's so incredibly understandable I can't even imagine it'd phase him for a second.

From the other side of the kneel, sometimes I need a check on my dominance. This'll come for similar reasons as to you... perhaps work has been keeping her buried so I've been deliberately giving her a lot of leash when she gets home and we've become disconnected as Master and slave if not husband and wife. I tell my wife that and she goes all subby on me (*laughs*) reinforcing my role as her Master. Seems to me the same thing would work in reverse.

as always, it's all about teamwork.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Reinforcement - 10/11/2008 7:05:32 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		What's wrong in saying to him "Thank you for giving me such freedom to deal with all this stress, but what I really need now in order to deal with the emotional effects is you curbing me, making me feel my place. I need my leash tightened please"?

It tells him you appreciate what he has been doing, gives him insight into how you're doing and gives him the info about what you know need.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Reinforcement - 10/12/2008 7:15:22 AM   
littlemisssnarf


Posts: 85
Joined: 8/28/2008
Status: offline 		girl give yourself a break me thinks - it sounds like you've had a huge amount on your plate recently which is naturally going to push other areas out of your mind and down the priority list!!

i don't think you've lost your subbie nature, it's just got pushed out a little by "life" - as the previous posters have said speak to your Sir, and allow him to decide what is best for you right now....

hugs and luck to you!
xx

_____________________________

let the sun shine on your soul and smile...

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Reinforcement - 10/12/2008 7:19:03 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		*hugs the colourful one*

I'm going to echo the idea of just let him know you need it.. knowing you, since he's dominant enough to have you, he's dominant to handle you asking for this without getting his panties in a bunch!  *smooch* (miss ya, darling girl....)

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to littlemisssnarf)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Reinforcement - 10/12/2008 8:15:01 AM   
BRNaughtyAngel


Posts: 1821
Status: offline 		Yes indeed, sometimes we need to have our leashes yanked, and held tight.  For me, it seems to help slow down my world that sometimes feels like it's spinning out of control. 

I usually communicate that to Him, and if I feel I need something specific, I will ask for it.  Sometimes He just recognizes that I am not in a good place and He will do whatever He feels needs to be done to help me get back to where I need to be mentally and emotionally.

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Reinforcement - 10/12/2008 2:23:54 PM   
CaraCaeth


Posts: 24
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline 		sweetie, i know exactly what you mean . . . been having a lot of my own family issues lately that require me to make all the decisions.  And i have to get put in my place sometimes because of that.  While Master always recognizes it (and reminds me of it lol!), the advice others have given you is to make sure that your Master knows when you feel you need that reinforcement.  But at the same time, you have to make sure you get yourself in the proper frame of mind . . . have a time, even if it's only half an hour, where you have no distractions and can release all your issues from your mind and totally devote and submerge yourself into you and your Master.  If you're splitting your mind and emotions between your problems (where you have to make decisions) and your Master (where you're submissive), the two mental states will cancel each other out and will result in frustration.  i think if you talk to Him, you'll find your Master more aware of your needs than you think He is . . . at least, if He's anything like mine

_____________________________

property of Master Brenin
There can be a true grandeur in any degree of submissiveness, because it springs from loyalty to the laws and to an oath, and not from baseness of soul. - Simone Weil (1910-1943, French Philosopher, Mystic)

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Reinforcement - 10/12/2008 3:31:05 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin


I have had a lot of family problems recently and have therefore had to make lots of decisions the past few days, of course Sir has been supportve but he has also given me space, this is fine but now im starting to need a "check on my submssiveness" I was wondering if people need this what helps them get that check. I am sure that many people will be itching to say that they are always submissive and never feel like it, and thats fine but I am really after some advice. Not only do I want to know what helps check it but how do you bring it up to your partner? I wouldnt want to sound like I am belittling him or anything, not because he lacks confidence just simply because I myself am worried.


Communicate to him.  If you have a good relationship it certainly can handle a conversation.  I unfortunately am dominant in my profession.  Being my dominants submissive returns me to normal.  When he has issues, I stress as well.
Though a good conversation usually always puts us back on an even keel.

Start out by asking for his guidance...then move on from there.

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 8
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Reinforcement Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078