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Fighting back? - 10/11/2008 6:17:11 PM   
Sandyshores29718


Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline 		I've noticed that a few times now that while playing with Sir I have started to want to fight back and came very close.  This might be cause I have pushed myself too far or we might have hit into the fight or flight mode.  I've talked with a couple friends and they seem to agree that, thats very likely and maybe we should take small breaks during floggings/spankings.  I'm sure I'm not the only one thats had this reaction before.  I guess my question is what did you do to over come this?  Was there something you noticed that set you off to fight back?  I'm thinking that when I start to sob its time to cool down a bit..maybe thats when I've pushed myself too far. I love Sir a great deal and it upsets me a little I'm acting like this. I've never reacted this way before with other partners, but then again I've not really scened with partners that did long floggings/spankings.  I know it worries him as well and yes we have talked and came up with an idea to try to help me not reaction this way.

Any advice is very much welcomed and thanked!
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RE: Fighting back? - 10/11/2008 6:27:31 PM   
PanthersMom


Posts: 2215
Joined: 11/26/2007
From: Cleveland Ohio
Status: offline 		well, it could be overstimulation, that's a possibility.  maybe you need to work on tolerance.  as you said, this is the first time you are dealing with this.  i'd suggest working  on your tolerance, maybe setting a limit as to how many more swatsyou can expect after you start sobbing. do you safeword when you can't tolerate it any more and so on.  knowing what you can expect can sometimes make it easier to push yourself a little more than you thought you could.  best of luck.
PM

_____________________________

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RE: Fighting back? - 10/11/2008 6:29:16 PM   
Sandyshores29718


Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline 		We had talked about only doing 10-15mins of beating before cooling down a little. I do safeword after I just cant take anymore, but by then I've really pushed myself. I'm silly and just hate using my safeword...but I will if it comes down to it.

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RE: Fighting back? - 10/11/2008 6:32:34 PM   
Riggor


Posts: 43
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline 		Yes use the safeword.... I know it goes against your grain, but do it!

_____________________________

"The darkness that surrounds us cannot hurt us. It is the darkness in your own heart you should fear."

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RE: Fighting back? - 10/11/2008 6:36:22 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sandyshores29718

I've noticed that a few times now that while playing with Sir I have started to want to fight back and came very close.  This might be cause I have pushed myself too far or we might have hit into the fight or flight mode.  I've talked with a couple friends and they seem to agree that, thats very likely and maybe we should take small breaks during floggings/spankings.  I'm sure I'm not the only one thats had this reaction before.  I guess my question is what did you do to over come this?  Was there something you noticed that set you off to fight back?  I'm thinking that when I start to sob its time to cool down a bit..maybe thats when I've pushed myself too far. I love Sir a great deal and it upsets me a little I'm acting like this. I've never reacted this way before with other partners, but then again I've not really scened with partners that did long floggings/spankings.  I know it worries him as well and yes we have talked and came up with an idea to try to help me not reaction this way.

Any advice is very much welcomed and thanked!


I've never experienced this, so I don't have much to add.  But from what you've said, maybe it's just a matter of an adrenelin rush from the extended flogging and spanking.  Maybe take some breaks in between,  or try the floggings for a shorter period of time and see if it still happens. 

_____________________________

marie.


I give good agita.









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RE: Fighting back? - 10/11/2008 6:39:09 PM   
Sandyshores29718


Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline 		*nods* Thank you. Thats what Sir and I are thinking and maybe having some juice neaer by.  Cause of this I had a small sub drop that lasted a day.  *sigh* Not fun for Sir and I at all.

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RE: Fighting back? - 10/11/2008 6:43:54 PM   
girlivy


Posts: 699
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline 		For some the struggle and "fighting back" is fun to do. I know for myself I LOVE to struggle, and Sir likes it as well.  I used to feel that i was not "being a good bottom" until Sir and I discussed it and the bottom line was to enjoy and have fun , and be yourself.  As long as a level of respect is maintained.   There have been times when I am instructed NOT to move, and I do my best to honor the command.   Have you discussed this over with your Sir?  I have also noticed that as far as tolerances go, mine greatly vary on many factors.
Good luck,
Cheers!

_____________________________

AUTHENTIC SPIRITUAL GROWTH NEVER COMES FROM EXPERIENCES THAT THE EGO CAN PREDICT OR CONTROL.
OUR SPIRIT HAS ITS OWN AGENDA: OUR DESTINY.
Be yourself, everyone else is taken!

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RE: Fighting back? - 10/11/2008 6:49:11 PM   
Sandyshores29718


Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline 		We havent talked about me fighting back...but the last time the one where I had a small sub drop after was not fun for me. I was done playing, BUT I made myself keep going cause I wanted him to have fun till he was done.  There are some days where I can handle more than others though.

(in reply to girlivy)
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RE: Fighting back? - 10/11/2008 6:57:28 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Some people go primal during pain play and do fight back. Nothing wrong with this as long as both of you are prepared it will happen when he goes too far. Have you asked him if he's okay with this happening? Because some guys just flat out love this.

I know mine would but it isn't something I'm wired for. I don't fight or run, I freeze.
Hell I can't even wrestle with him for fun.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Fighting back? - 10/11/2008 7:02:21 PM   
Sandyshores29718


Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline 		I havent asked him...maybe its something we need to talk about. I just dont know if he would love me calling him a bastard. I did say "Fuck you that hurts" the last time and I felt bad about it....

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RE: Fighting back? - 10/11/2008 7:02:26 PM   
servantheart


Posts: 960
Joined: 10/26/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sandyshores29718

I've noticed that a few times now that while playing with Sir I have started to want to fight back and came very close.  This might be cause I have pushed myself too far or we might have hit into the fight or flight mode.  I've talked with a couple friends and they seem to agree that, thats very likely and maybe we should take small breaks during floggings/spankings.  I'm sure I'm not the only one thats had this reaction before.  I guess my question is what did you do to over come this?  Was there something you noticed that set you off to fight back?  I'm thinking that when I start to sob its time to cool down a bit..maybe thats when I've pushed myself too far. I love Sir a great deal and it upsets me a little I'm acting like this. I've never reacted this way before with other partners, but then again I've not really scened with partners that did long floggings/spankings.  I know it worries him as well and yes we have talked and came up with an idea to try to help me not reaction this way.

Any advice is very much welcomed and thanked!


For me, certain types of pain will piss me off enough to want to smack the hell out of whoever is inflicting it.  Specifically, anything that causes a thud-like pain to be concentrated in one spot and especially if it happens repeatedly within a short period of time will do that to me.  All it does is make me extremely angry and when I get like that, all bets are off.  At that point, I WILL retaliate, consequences be damned. Whatever submissive mindset I may have been in before that goes right out the window. 

If you're going to push yourself past the point where you want to fight back, taking breaks is probably the best thing you can do in order to keep yourself from acting on those impulses. 


 
 

_____________________________

When you really trust someone, you have to be okay with not understanding some things.
~Real Live Preacher, Real Live Preacher weblog, 07-08-04; Anonymous author of RealLivePreacher.com

(in reply to Sandyshores29718)
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RE: Fighting back? - 10/11/2008 7:06:51 PM   
Sandyshores29718


Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: servantheart

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sandyshores29718

I've noticed that a few times now that while playing with Sir I have started to want to fight back and came very close.  This might be cause I have pushed myself too far or we might have hit into the fight or flight mode.  I've talked with a couple friends and they seem to agree that, thats very likely and maybe we should take small breaks during floggings/spankings.  I'm sure I'm not the only one thats had this reaction before.  I guess my question is what did you do to over come this?  Was there something you noticed that set you off to fight back?  I'm thinking that when I start to sob its time to cool down a bit..maybe thats when I've pushed myself too far. I love Sir a great deal and it upsets me a little I'm acting like this. I've never reacted this way before with other partners, but then again I've not really scened with partners that did long floggings/spankings.  I know it worries him as well and yes we have talked and came up with an idea to try to help me not reaction this way.

Any advice is very much welcomed and thanked!


For me, certain types of pain will piss me off enough to want to smack the hell out of whoever is inflicting it.  Specifically, anything that causes a thud-like pain to be concentrated in one spot and especially if it happens repeatedly within a short period of time will do that to me.  All it does is make me extremely angry and when I get like that, all bets are off.  At that point, I WILL retaliate, consequences be damned. Whatever submissive mindset I may have been in before that goes right out the window. 

If you're going to push yourself past the point where you want to fight back, taking breaks is probably the best thing you can do in order to keep yourself from acting on those impulses. 


 
 


I have noticed when he hits his favorite spot over and over and over it starts to make me mad. lol I've even said a couple times that I have TWO cheeks not one. lol hmm.....Thanks!

(in reply to servantheart)
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RE: Fighting back? - 10/11/2008 7:09:38 PM   
bkftl


Posts: 1
Joined: 10/5/2008
Status: offline 		Heheh, fighting is fun, I wouldnt worry about it, just have your dom/domme be ready for it, dont just sucker punch em...

(in reply to servantheart)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Fighting back? - 10/11/2008 7:11:37 PM   
Sandyshores29718


Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline 		Haha! No never sucker punch Sir. The first time he used the belt on me he ended up sitting on my legs while I was laying face down. I got up on my knees and was about to swing. Later Sir told me he was ready for the fight. lol

< Message edited by Sandyshores29718 -- 10/11/2008 7:13:22 PM >

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RE: Fighting back? - 10/11/2008 7:27:20 PM   
Riggor


Posts: 43
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline 		Yes, I was prepared. LOL sucker punch? As long as it isnt my patented drop to the knees and a punch to the nutsack trick..Im ok with a sucker punch!

_____________________________

"The darkness that surrounds us cannot hurt us. It is the darkness in your own heart you should fear."

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RE: Fighting back? - 10/11/2008 8:49:42 PM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline 		People react differently to different stimuli. For example, my slave reacts to the "thudding" pain of a riding crop with anger, but flinches when I use a cowhide or deerskin flogger. A paddle makes her uneasy, but a spanking with my bare hand always puts her in a good headspace.

If certain toys put you in a bad headspace, suggest to Sir that he use different toys. At the very least, you both should recognize which toys have good and bad effects on you. Then Sir can moderate his actions accordingly to make the overall scene positive for both of you.

_____________________________



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RE: Fighting back? - 10/11/2008 8:52:14 PM   
Sandyshores29718


Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline 		Thank you for the advice.  I think next time we play together we both shall have to be on the watch to see which toys I react badly too. Thank you again for the great advice.

(in reply to celticlord2112)
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RE: Fighting back? - 10/11/2008 10:15:12 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Does he communicate with you, talk to you, when you start to want to fight back?  In the past, I have slipped into fight mode when I felt disconnected from someone I'm playing with, and it seemed to involve them being very silent.


Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

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RE: Fighting back? - 10/11/2008 10:32:54 PM   
mbes


Posts: 465
Joined: 12/14/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: servantheart
For me, certain types of pain will piss me off enough to want to smack the hell out of whoever is inflicting it. Specifically, anything that causes a thud-like pain to be concentrated in one spot and especially if it happens repeatedly within a short period of time will do that to me. All it does is make me extremely angry and when I get like that, all bets are off. At that point, I WILL retaliate, consequences be damned. Whatever submissive mindset I may have been in before that goes right out the window.

If you're going to push yourself past the point where you want to fight back, taking breaks is probably the best thing you can do in order to keep yourself from acting on those impulses.

Oh, that is so me! It's not the thud-pain, but there is one that causes the "fuck this, I'm fighting" response. It's possible to get past it, it just takes working up to it slowly, but yeah, when it happens, mine does know it.
Talk, and more talk. That's all I can say.

(in reply to servantheart)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Fighting back? - 10/11/2008 10:39:06 PM   
Sandyshores29718


Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Does he communicate with you, talk to you, when you start to want to fight back?  In the past, I have slipped into fight mode when I felt disconnected from someone I'm playing with, and it seemed to involve them being very silent.


Cali



He does, but looking back that might have been part of the reason. When he really gets into it he doesnt talk as much to me anymore.

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 20
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