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Non-Verbal Communication Solution - 12/7/2005 10:27:57 PM

bladerunner5

Posts: 30
Joined: 9/2/2005
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Sometimes when I've been playing hard, or someone's teased me for a
long time before finally getting me off, I hit a point where I go non-verbal.
My brain is mush. My fine motor control for talking is mush. And
especially when a long-teased-out orgasm is included, I will sometimes
get muscle spasms along one side of my body that look a bit like
seizures or worrisome tics. No big deal, people who've played with me a
while are aware of it and know that it's something that just happens.
But when I play with people new to me, I don't always remember to warn
them about the possibility this might happen, or they don't understand
what I'm talking about till they see it, and it's a little
disconcerting. And even people I've played with for a while will
sometimes try to talk with me before I'm able to speak back to them.

Apparently some part of my brain has been working on this problem. I've
noticed in the last few months that when I'm not able to speak in those
circumstances, I've started signing. Not fluent sentences, but a couple
of words. I've started signing "I['m] okay. Please wait. One minute (I
spell out m-i-n). Sorry." It's about a third of my full ASL
vocabulary, so there's nothing truly fancy going on. Which is just as
well because most of the people I play with aren't fluent in sign
either. But it surprised me to find that I'm doing this. It wasn't a
conscious decision. I am signing more at work with my speech kids, so
maybe that's some of it. But then I've been signing with my speech kids
for two and a half years. Who knows. It does seem to be helpful,
though. The last two people to notice it said it was useful for them.
Even if they didn't understand the signs themselves, they knew I was
still "in there" and things were okay. It'll be interesting to see if I
start signing in the middle of scenes when I'm all happily messed up.
Especially now that I'm thinking about this consciously, I'll bet I
start signing "again" and "more". :)

Bladerunner

"Who's the freak in the tights?"
"Haven't been in Gotham long, have you kid?"
--Batman Beyond

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RE: Non-Verbal Communication Solution - 12/7/2005 11:29:47 PM

Wolfie648

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I would say this is a rather unique situation. Both in 'symptom' and 'solution'. I would talk to some doctors, about possible conditions, but if they say everything is fine then knock yourself out, have fun, let them have fun, try to remember to communicate _before_ a new person comes across something they aren't familiar with and spare them the 'discovery' of having to worry if you are ok or not.

D (owner of j).

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RE: Non-Verbal Communication Solution - 12/8/2005 12:01:05 AM

wetsub000

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Hi

I found your post interesting. I sometimes go non-verbal myself, but haven't ever found myself signing, maybe I should try it. Both my parents are deaf so a bit of sign language is easy for me, though I don't think I know anyone who knows Auslan.

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RE: Non-Verbal Communication Solution - 12/8/2005 6:14:26 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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A good solution.

For me I simply just let my partners know before a scene that that is how I can get AND that if they need me to come out of it, they can do it slowly. That way, they can either prevent me from going there in the first place, or they won't freak when I do.

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RE: Non-Verbal Communication Solution - 12/8/2005 7:28:09 AM

OscarHargraves

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Great post! And some good ideas for others too. There have been several threads about "How do I ......." and "How do I let them know ......." referring to gagging and whipping or things of that nature. Signing is something that hasn't been brought up before but might be a good solution for some of those people.

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RE: Non-Verbal Communication Solution - 12/8/2005 10:32:33 AM

truesub4u

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I have a slight problem with actually busting blood vessels in my head when i'm forced to be teased and things prolonged. Then slowly start bleeding from the ears.

As a child I bled from the ears and doctors didn't know why. All the test ran on me shown no damage, it's just something that happens.

As i got older and sexually active, it did get worse. A hard orgasm causes migrains. Explosive (so to speak from prolong play) causes the vessels to pop and ears to bleed.

Try to explain that after forgetting to inform someone... LOL

It doesn't happen all the time.... but when it does, i bury my head in my hands or where ever, and try to make it stop. At same time, try to get the person i'm with to understand they did nothing wrong. After about 15-30 mins, depending on how bad it was, i'm able to laugh and say... WOW! Thank You!... and then tell them what happened and why. Makes for some laughable conversation afterwards.

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RE: Non-Verbal Communication Solution - 12/8/2005 5:50:27 PM

kyraofMists

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I become non-verbal often during play. My Lord has us use a simple hand signal of a thumbs up that everything is okay. Sometimes if he is close enough, I'll just pat him on the head. Of course, when I become non-verbal I am also very slow to respond to questions of "how are you doing?" For me, it always seems like I give a quick response, but not so from his perspective.

Knight's kyra

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RE: Non-Verbal Communication Solution - 12/8/2005 6:05:16 PM

alandraofMists

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as sis has said our Lord uses the thumbs up signal to check and make sure everything is going okay. i also make use of the patting on the head or a caress of His cheek if He is close enough. Though if i am in a non-verbal goofy headspace and he leans in to check on me, it is fairly likely that i will lick (or try to) His nose. This usually gets a laugh and retribution... *g* such a big word to use*giggles* but then that starts a whole another story. Lol right sis

Knight's alandra

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RE: Non-Verbal Communication Solution - 12/9/2005 12:37:28 AM

pandoravampire

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I also go non verbal. Not something my other half likes, as he wants to hear and see me reacting, so he keeps on at me, till he intrudes through the lovely haze im in, and brings me out of it, so that i may answer his request/question.
irritating to say the least. hey ho.

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RE: Non-Verbal Communication Solution - 12/9/2005 5:16:26 PM

bladerunner5

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

A good solution.

For me I simply just let my partners know before a scene that that is how I can get AND that if they need me to come out of it, they can do it slowly. That way, they can either prevent me from going there in the first place, or they won't freak when I do.

I do try to let them know about this beforehand. But even when I do explain beforehand, it's still sometimes appears worrisome when I'm twitching about. Being able to communicate that really, I am in fact okay, is helpful.

Oh, and in response to truesub4u, it's not a medical condition. It's just energy that builds up during fear play, intense pain play, some kinds of submission, and prolonged sexual teasing, and the shaking and spasms in my arm, sometimes along my whole left side, is just the energy being releaed.

Bladerunner5

"Places to go! People to do! Things to see!"

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