RE: BDSM - it's not about sex (Full Version)

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JustDarkness -> RE: BDSM - it's not about sex (10/12/2008 1:03:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

Perhaps those that use CollarMe as a dating service think it is about both BDSM and physical attraction whether the physical side is spurred by sex, ego or affection.


good point.....many profiles from "younger" people are written (at least in my opinion) in a way that they just look for a date (aka quicky). Then physical attraction is very important ofcourse.
I guess CM as a tool..has several uses.



TabrisMaceth -> RE: BDSM - it's not about sex (10/12/2008 1:27:40 PM)

I've gotten way more attention here than on any other dating site. Still, I agree with Domblank 100%. "Spirituality", for one thing, is hippy bullshit. If BDSM wasn't about kinky sex, then who the fuck would be here?! It's not just about kinky sex, mind you, only primarily about kinky sex. The only difference between this and any other dating site is we know that everyone here wants to have kinky sex.
Now, in case you still think a good 90% of the people around here aren't shallow...well, tell that to the ones who demand pictures before talking to you...and lemme tell ya a story. The first five minutes here, I thought I found the love of my life. This was before I learned BDSM sites aren't entirely made up of perverts looking for deviant hardcore sex. So, her profile was all sweet, she said she was looking for love and whatnot, so I just had to talk to her. You know what she did? She bugged me for a picture. I was a complete goober, my profile sucked, and what did she say? "Calm down, Sparky! You just got here! Take a moment to look around and find yourself a little before you go declaring everlasting love to a total stranger." Um, no. "Can I see a picture? Pretty please? I am a very visual person!" Granted, I acted like a complete jackass, but she was only interested in seeing what I looked like. Furthermore, she had a lot of "friends". If you've spent five seconds on YouTube or MySpace, you'll know anyone who has several hundred "friends" really doesn't have any friends at all.

Just for the sake of honesty, I look at pictures and I feel shallow because of it. But I have found, despite my own worst fears, that I would much rather talk to a fat chick with a beautiful soul than what an old friend of mine would call a "fuckable retard" (i.e. Paris Hilton or Tila Tequila).

-Tabris



YourhandMyAss -> RE: BDSM - it's not about sex (10/12/2008 3:16:54 PM)

Actually I believe the saying love is blind, not love blinds. Course that could be a saying too, just not one I have ever heard.
quote:

ORIGINAL: JustDarkness

quote:

ORIGINAL: Domblank

and if im lying...
 
then answer honestly how many people on here without photos, that you havent viewed...have you been really interested in
 
 

but they have a saying here "love blinds" .

and most people I talk have no pictures either. A least they have more to see then "you look yummy"



YourhandMyAss -> RE: BDSM - it's not about sex (10/12/2008 3:21:09 PM)

My opinion is wah wah wah , get over it. Bdsm is what thep eople involved doin it want it to be. And they and they alone define what it is to them. And some random person online who's not even involved in the relationship can't define what bdsm is or is not for the whole world.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Domblank

Yea? who are we kidding, now I know I am going to get the people coming in here saying 'its about the spiritual aspects' and yes I agree to a degree
BUT
see how many people here without a photo/compared to how many with ...and then ask what the difference in mail volume is..
this is ultimately about attraction, hence no photo, no initial attraction, no one cares about how well you write or what your likes and dislikes are initially, they just want to see how hot you'd look tied up
 
opinions plz



YourhandMyAss -> RE: BDSM - it's not about sex (10/12/2008 3:45:19 PM)

I don't have sex in most of my bdsm interactions, that includes masterbation, him or me, and I am quite happy to do what I do with out sex in it.

And you can not speak for knowing why every one on here is on here. Not every one is on here for kinky sex or wanting kinky sex, look at all the profiles of women, mine included who're taken and have absolutely nothing about kinky sex in their profiles. Who in fact say they are NOT here for kinky sex.

Infact for me sex is not a big part of our relationship,  and we quite often go 8, 6 or 7 months with out sex, and yes we're together in real life. We live together. Kinky sex, infact sex at all isn't even close to the epicenter of our relationship or why we do what it is we do.




quote:

ORIGINAL: TabrisMaceth

 If BDSM wasn't about kinky sex, then who the fuck would be here?! It's not just about kinky sex, mind you, only primarily about kinky sex. The only difference between this and any other dating site is we know that everyone here wants to have kinky sex.
-Tabris



auburnvixen -> RE: BDSM - it's not about sex (10/12/2008 5:43:51 PM)

I'd like to post a photo but I don't know how. I thought my CM profile photo would be the one to pop up here...?

Maybe someone can help me, as I haven't beeen able to find the how-to on the forum site.



CallaFirestormBW -> RE: BDSM - it's not about sex (10/12/2008 5:52:02 PM)

On the "edit profile page" there is an option to upload a photo (mid-page or so), along with the instructions about what size/type of photo you can use. The photo has to be approved before it will be seen, and for a first photo, that can take up to 3 days or so.

Calla Firestorm



auburnvixen -> RE: BDSM - it's not about sex (10/12/2008 6:09:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW

On the "edit profile page" there is an option to upload a photo (mid-page or so), along with the instructions about what size/type of photo you can use. The photo has to be approved before it will be seen, and for a first photo, that can take up to 3 days or so.

Calla Firestorm


Thank you, Calla. I already do have a photo on my CM profile. How do I put that photo on here so that it shows up when I post? On my profile page for these message boards, I don't see anywhere that allows me to upload a photo...?



bound21 -> RE: BDSM - it's not about sex (10/12/2008 9:55:03 PM)

i describe myself as a sexual submissive - i am not after 24/7 or complete ownership/Dominance - just in a specific area of my life. however, that does not mean the spiritual aspect isnt important to me as well.

its almost like you are separating the sexual attraction aspect from the spiritual aspect - to me they are both important. mutual attraction is important to me - i will not have sex or submit to someone without it HOWEVER, i have had some very sexy Doms contact me and their arrogance and ignorance ruled them out as quickly as the ones i wasnt attracted to.

surely as in all things it is the right mix that everyone is looking for...that being the right mix for THEM.

i will also chat to someone with an intriguing profile and who stimulates my mind for some time and potentially develop friendship with them, but at some stage i will always ask for a photo - to me that will determine if it stops at friendship or if it has potential to go further. maybe that sounds shallow to some, but hey, i'm ok with that...i'm only trying to make me happy at the moment :)



miss8understood -> RE: BDSM - it's not about sex (10/12/2008 10:06:12 PM)

i agree with the person (people) who say it's absolutely about sex.  so i definitely must be attracted to the person in 'my' way.  getting a photo, an idea to whom i am chatting, is extremely important.





CalifChick -> RE: BDSM - it's not about sex (10/12/2008 10:16:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: auburnvixen
Thank you, Calla. I already do have a photo on my CM profile. How do I put that photo on here so that it shows up when I post? On my profile page for these message boards, I don't see anywhere that allows me to upload a photo...?


You don't upload a photo.  Go to the upper right of this page, far in the corner, and click on MY PROFILE.  Halfway down the page you will see this:



Set up profile photo:      ( ) Use your avatar as profile photo



Check the box and click APPLY then OKAY.  That's it, you're done.


Cali




RCdc -> RE: BDSM - it's not about sex (10/13/2008 2:49:41 AM)

Some people fuck up their filters without knowing it, so it's not a viable thought persay.
I write to people all the time with or without photos.  It's not a biggie, but then, we aren't looking.
 
Attraction and sex are two different things.
 
the.dark.



auburnvixen -> RE: BDSM - it's not about sex (10/13/2008 6:16:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: auburnvixen
Thank you, Calla. I already do have a photo on my CM profile. How do I put that photo on here so that it shows up when I post? On my profile page for these message boards, I don't see anywhere that allows me to upload a photo...?


You don't upload a photo.  Go to the upper right of this page, far in the corner, and click on MY PROFILE.  Halfway down the page you will see this:



Set up profile photo:      ( ) Use your avatar as profile photo



Check the box and click APPLY then OKAY.  That's it, you're done.


Cali



OK, I did it exactly as you said...thanks for the tip. But it still isn't working...?

OK, I added one more step to that process, and now it's working. Yay me! Thx again Cali, and Calla.



JustDarkness -> RE: BDSM - it's not about sex (10/14/2008 4:05:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

Actually I believe the saying love is blind, not love blinds. Course that could be a saying too, just not one I have ever heard.


propably because I translated it from my language. (liefde maakt blind>>love blinds you)
but I guess the meaning is the same.
thank you for correcting



IrishMist -> RE: BDSM - it's not about sex (10/14/2008 4:38:52 AM)

quote:

If BDSM wasn't about kinky sex, then who the fuck would be here?!

That's quite a statement to make. Since you sound so sure, I am positive that you have become acquainted with EVERY SINGLE PERSON on this site, and know for a FACT that your statement is true?

There are actually some people from this site; and yes, I have met them in person, in real life; who are NOT interested in kinky sex. They are interested in more mundane things like....people, and getting to know them...for either fun, relaxation, common interests, etc...for them, it has absolutly nothing to do with sex...kinky or otherwise.



JustDarkness -> RE: BDSM - it's not about sex (10/14/2008 7:09:59 AM)


quote:

If BDSM wasn't about kinky sex, then who the fuck would be here?!


I



sailorfrank -> RE: BDSM - it's not about sex (10/14/2008 8:16:09 AM)

    Huh Sex???   Ewwwww thought this site was just for meeting like minded people with the same interests and having fun with them!?[8|]



JustDarkness -> RE: BDSM - it's not about sex (10/14/2008 8:18:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sailorfrank

   Huh Sex???   Ewwwww thought this site was just for meeting like minded people with the same interests and having fun with them!?[8|]


yeah right..we know how sailers act :P



CallaFirestormBW -> RE: BDSM - it's not about sex (10/14/2008 8:18:53 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

If BDSM wasn't about kinky sex, then who the fuck would be here?!

That's quite a statement to make. Since you sound so sure, I am positive that you have become acquainted with EVERY SINGLE PERSON on this site, and know for a FACT that your statement is true?

There are actually some people from this site; and yes, I have met them in person, in real life; who are NOT interested in kinky sex. They are interested in more mundane things like....people, and getting to know them...for either fun, relaxation, common interests, etc...for them, it has absolutly nothing to do with sex...kinky or otherwise.


*grins* and then there are those of us who are just in it because kinky folks don't look at us quite as cross-eyed when they find out that we want to make people bleed.

Firestorm



masterdstar -> RE: BDSM - it's not about sex (10/14/2008 12:18:06 PM)

So?  What's the problem? "this is ultimately about attraction"
The photos they allow here are very VERY mild....So?

Enjoy your wonder-filled day



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