RE: Your Thoughts

RE: Your Thoughts (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive

Message

MrHarsh -> RE: Your Thoughts (10/13/2008 5:36:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Missokyst This kind of thread is actually posted quite frequently on CM. Perhaps you can help me understand the why's of internet connections. Many times I come across people who have never met in regular life, yet they are committed to them online. {SNIP} I do not understand online submission even when it is supposedly leading to a real time meeting. What is the draw? Now that I am no longer looking I think now and again, there might be some value to just doing this online.. and then I remember my reality clause. If anyone can enlighten me how these things develop please let me know. An on-line relationship can be thought of as a "relationship lite". It's has some qualities of a relationship, but lacks a number of things. Some of those things are good things that maybe you don't want to live without (like actual physical contact), but some of those things are bad things that people don't feel like dealing with. By not ever meeting someone face-to-face you can cut out a significant amount of somebody else's negative qualities and replace them with made up details - possibly fantasy, or possibly just not awful. Real people come with baggage, like kids that you just don't want to meet, or bad financial habits that drive you crazy ... or bad breath, or BO, or unpleasant political attitudes. By only dealing with a person on-line or at a distance, one only deals with parts one really likes. Relationships can be hard sometimes. Being able to ignore the ugly details can make it easier ... especially when you're just plain tired of slogging through relationships (we've all been there, right?). It's more satisfying than one-night stands, yet less difficult than the real thing.

Missokyst -> RE: Your Thoughts (10/13/2008 6:47:29 PM)
For a long time I thought of it as relationship lite. But if you read the forums long enough you can see people really really take this to heart! Almost more than if they had actually lived with, and been a daily part of someones physical life. It reminds me of a drug where you trade off one ingredient for another until the balance is set. I dont know. It is one of the many mysteries which probably will remain unanswered for me, unless I choose to experience it. Kyst quote: ORIGINAL: MrHarsh An on-line relationship can be thought of as a "relationship lite". It's has some qualities of a relationship, but lacks a number of things.

KatyLied -> RE: Your Thoughts (10/13/2008 6:52:02 PM)
quote: An on-line relationship can be thought of as a "relationship lite". I consider it a pen-pal type of relationship.

WildHoneyPie -> RE: Your Thoughts (10/14/2008 6:10:52 AM)
My gut reaction: He's married and perving around online for some cheap thrills. He's picked up lots of lingo hanging around bdsm sites. He is taking advantage of your vulnerability and openness. He's trouble with a capital T. I think you know already what you need to do. Being submissive doesn't mean you have to put up with being used by heartless sonsabitches. You are worth more than this. Good luck to you! whp

lovingpet -> RE: Your Thoughts (10/14/2008 6:22:29 AM)
I don't know what the reasons for all the mixed messages may be, but it would not be at all surprising that you are being taken advantage of. Finally being able to identify my own submissive nature, I can see how it was exploited many times and in many ways by other people over my lifetime. Some it was intentional, others stumbled into such a blunder. As painful as it is, you will have to make a final decision on the matter. Since he will not communicate with you, it will have to come from your sense of things as they stand. I wish you only the best. lovingpet

littleone35 -> RE: Your Thoughts (10/14/2008 12:00:31 PM)
I would tell him look (insert name here) you never seem to have time for me when i always have time for you, this is not working for me so we should just end it. Then do so. Matt's littleone

detoxxx -> RE: Your Thoughts (10/15/2008 12:06:21 AM)
Gawd do you really need to ask.....he aint into you I was with someone that used to ignore me totally until one christmas he told me he had got someone else pregnant oh happy days[:D] lol

bound4more -> RE: Your Thoughts (10/15/2008 3:54:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wichchilde If this was your Dom/Master what would you do? ~Comes home, talks to you online and then barely talks to you the rest of the night. ~Hasn''t called in a month. ~Claims that calls to your cell aren't going through when he tries to call. ~Claims he is not getting your texts and when you panic he goes off on you. ~Gets upset when he asks you to do something and you can't at that point in time. ~Tells you first that he plans on collaring you, but when and where is up to him, and then tells you that if someone else shows interest, not to say no because of him. ~Tells you that you can only call him Master when you used to call him things like Sir and other pet names and he said it was okay because they all ment the same thing no matter what was said. ~Tells you you can text him at work and then down the line asks you not too because you make him feel guilty that he is working and you are not. I think you already know how you feel about this. There is NO right or wrong way. Just do what fulfills you. Submission does not mean sacrifice - unless heh heh, that's part of what you enjoy. In other words I think sometimes subs think they're not allowed to want fulfillment - and I say BS.

windchymes -> RE: Your Thoughts (10/15/2008 6:10:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: justagirl246 quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth quote: If this was your Dom/Master what would you do? beg for release. I agree, although I'm not sure what there is to beg release from. Ditto that. Maybe I missed something somewhere, but I see a HUGE difference in the kind of relationship mercnbeth have and what the OP has (no offense meant to the OP).

lostgirl83 -> RE: Your Thoughts (10/15/2008 8:58:32 PM)
It all depends on your feelings. If you're looking for something not so serious that likely won't develop into anything... stick around. If you want something realtime put what you had in a bubble, blow it away, and move on to someone a little more willing to make time for communication and building a relationship.

amaidiamond -> RE: Your Thoughts (10/16/2008 6:24:59 AM)
I had and internet relationship when I was about 16, the net was all very new then - the guy was really sweet and lived in the USA and we both lived at home with our moms - all very innocent and the like and this went on for about 9 months till he vanished for 6 weeks and silly moo here had never even thought to take an address or phone number - I assumed he was bored and not interested in reality he lived in tornado alley and a severe storm had fried his pc and being 16 and living at home a new one took a while. We didn't get back together but we did later go on to meet and are still very close but cases like that are one in a million. He doesnt call you - but has your number. He doesnt respond then shouts if you worry. He dangles a collar like a carrot in front of you but doesnt give any timescales etc. You dont feel appriciated or loved (from what you've posted) You've never met in the flesh despite having the means (again from what you posted) Unless their have been any month long power outages, every cell phone network has gne down for a month, the roads have all been blocked AND someones held him captive in their basement so he can't reach you i'd say this is an internet thing that got stale - not worth breaking your heart over. I'd live, learn and move on. dia

NuevaVida -> RE: Your Thoughts (10/16/2008 6:47:46 AM)
If this was my Master, I would beg for release. If it was a dominant I was not committed to, as you indicated is the case with you, I would lose interest and move on. I have spent a lot of years in my life committing myself to people that didn't care about me very much. Now I care about myself enough to want more, and to want better for myself. I suggest you work to reach that point, too.

DavanKael -> RE: Your Thoughts (10/16/2008 9:06:13 AM)
At first glance I see a lot of mixed messages that lean in the direction of apparent disinterest. If talking about what's goingon doesn't work and there isn't a mutual willingness to make it workable, it don't be. Best wishes. Davan

RealSub58 -> RE: Your Thoughts (10/16/2008 11:49:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wichchilde If this was your Dom/Master what would you do? ~Comes home, talks to you online and then barely talks to you the rest of the night. ~Hasn''t called in a month. ~Claims that calls to your cell aren't going through when he tries to call. ~Claims he is not getting your texts and when you panic he goes off on you. ~Gets upset when he asks you to do something and you can't at that point in time. ~Tells you first that he plans on collaring you, but when and where is up to him, and then tells you that if someone else shows interest, not to say no because of him. ~Tells you that you can only call him Master when you used to call him things like Sir and other pet names and he said it was okay because they all ment the same thing no matter what was said. ~Tells you you can text him at work and then down the line asks you not too because you make him feel guilty that he is working and you are not. oh so get the hell out of Dodge a night mare come true he aint into you at all....

RealSub58 -> RE: Your Thoughts (10/16/2008 11:51:57 AM)
[8D]

spankablemilf -> RE: Your Thoughts (10/16/2008 6:24:01 PM)
Sounds like you need to go R/T, and not online. This is just so incredibly dumb to me that I can't even fathom it. What is the point to excluseively online/technology bound relationships? It just doesn't make sense at all to me. quote: ORIGINAL: wichchilde If this was your Dom/Master what would you do? ~Comes home, talks to you online and then barely talks to you the rest of the night. ~Hasn''t called in a month. ~Claims that calls to your cell aren't going through when he tries to call. ~Claims he is not getting your texts and when you panic he goes off on you. ~Gets upset when he asks you to do something and you can't at that point in time. ~Tells you first that he plans on collaring you, but when and where is up to him, and then tells you that if someone else shows interest, not to say no because of him. ~Tells you that you can only call him Master when you used to call him things like Sir and other pet names and he said it was okay because they all ment the same thing no matter what was said. ~Tells you you can text him at work and then down the line asks you not too because you make him feel guilty that he is working and you are not.

spankablemilf -> RE: Your Thoughts (10/16/2008 6:25:29 PM)
Am I the only person who thinks this is an open and shut case? A no brainer??? quote: ORIGINAL: wichchilde It started out as having the intent first and then going to real time. We had talked a couple of times about meeting, but there were no promises as when and where would depend on his job. We had talked about making a serious desicion on the relationship after the meeting, but there has been no talk of that since.

spankablemilf -> RE: Your Thoughts (10/16/2008 6:26:59 PM)
Laughing my fucking ass off...That was hysterical! quote: ORIGINAL: tsatske Let's make an anolaogy of this to pre-internet days.

azropedntied -> RE: Your Thoughts (10/16/2008 7:45:30 PM)
listen to the masses , its kinda like a lifeline here and overwhelmingly they are saying the same clear message . Are you happy ? is he ? life is too short to waste ..

FetishRose -> RE: Your Thoughts (10/16/2008 9:12:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wichchilde If this was your Dom/Master what would you do? ~Comes home, talks to you online and then barely talks to you the rest of the night. ~Hasn''t called in a month. ~Claims that calls to your cell aren't going through when he tries to call. ~Claims he is not getting your texts and when you panic he goes off on you. ~Gets upset when he asks you to do something and you can't at that point in time. ~Tells you first that he plans on collaring you, but when and where is up to him, and then tells you that if someone else shows interest, not to say no because of him. ~Tells you that you can only call him Master when you used to call him things like Sir and other pet names and he said it was okay because they all ment the same thing no matter what was said. ~Tells you you can text him at work and then down the line asks you not too because you make him feel guilty that he is working and you are not. Remember highschool? Substitute Master for boyfriend...and what do you think? Just because you are in a D/s relationship doesn't mean you should have to put up with any weird behavior that in highschool would have been red flags for HELLO!!!!! ITS NOT WORKING!! BREAK IT OFF!!

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875