RE: Dom with vanilla tendencies, or vice versa?

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RE: Dom with vanilla tendencies, or vice versa? - 10/14/2008 11:37:09 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark
We want photo evidence! Strickly for educational purposes obviously, nothing to do with my drooling...

Photo evidence on it's way through the approval loop. Although, I must say, if you're drooling over this, then either you need to upgrade your tastes in men or you have a WAY serious cricket fetish. I'm struggling to decide which is creepier *laughs*

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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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RE: Dom with vanilla tendencies, or vice versa? - 10/14/2008 10:25:21 PM

moonvine

Posts: 780
Joined: 11/7/2004
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I'm actually currently struggling with this as there is a local guy interested in me, very sweet, very very vanilla. He saw my masochist comment on my OkCupid profile and flipped out and said he was definitely not into that. So why waste either of our times, when he could be out meeting the vanilla girl of his dreams? Wouldn't dating him be leading him on?

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RE: Dom with vanilla tendencies, or vice versa? - 10/15/2008 3:25:52 AM

wandersalone

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Joined: 11/21/2005
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Firstly welcome to the forums Bound21.... it is always good to have another Aussie here.

My first reaction on reading your posts is to gently suggest that you stop looking so hard for the right match.... sometimes (and I speak from experience) we get so caught up in finding the perfect person who ticks all our boxes that we totally bypass all of the fantastic people right in front of us.

Yes it can be frustrating to be a sub and not in a relationship, just as frustrating as I imagine it is if you are a domme. dom, switch, martian or any other orientation.

I stopped looking externally for the perfect dom and have instead focussed on personal development, working on aspects of myself that I felt could do with a little fine tuning so that I can be the best person possible for someone else. My experience has been that by letting go of my expectations and time frames my own life is so much more enjoyable and yes....I am now attracting many people into my life who I guess are recognising the work I have done internally.

The forums give you a fantastic opportunity to obtain lots of different opinions and the great thing is that you can discard or keep them, use the forums to inform you but not to dictate to you if possible and I am sure you will do well.

All the best.

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RE: Dom with vanilla tendencies, or vice versa? - 10/15/2008 5:30:12 AM

KnashsLiLwench

Posts: 18
Joined: 9/29/2008
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In my own experience I have found that most men, no matter the title they fall under, have the tendency to dominate in the bedroom. Just as I feel that most women have the tendency to submit in the bedroom. So my question to the OP would be are you just talking about kink? You want an equal 50/50 partnership but someone who will take control when the clothes come off? I guess I am just confused as to why this would be a difficult thing to find. Maybe I am just not understanding the post. I think that finding what you are looking for has nothing to do with BDSM vs Nila. Its about compatibility and that is something that takes time. Just keep your options open, date and get to know people. If they are the right one for you, you will know it. Look everywhere. Don't limit your avenues of search just because of a title.

Just my two cents................keep the change

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Post #: 44