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RE: Mistress are you a Sadist? - 12/9/2005 11:40:07 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

quote:

ORIGINAL: talmar

Yes I only believe in playing in a Safe, Sane, Consentual & confidential manner.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Consensual sadist. It wouldn't amuse me to give pain to someone who didn't want it.

I am definitely NOT an SSC person!

Tammyjo, I understand what you mean about working with someone who really *isn't* a masochist........it's very intense satisfaction! You are very lucky to have Fox. :)

:)Ms F

Aw, thank you.

The cool thing is that over our years together he has developed an enjoyment for some what I would call simple SM stuff -- like spanking he really enjoys now as well as nipple play that is more SM than just sensual.

He doesn't enjoy flogging or caning or slapping for their own sakes but he enjoys making me happy. For us, at least, this is part of his service as a slave as opposed to being my submissive. These SM activities don't cross his hard limits (though he's given me most of thes by now) and they don't harm him in any way -- yes, they hurt, sometimes a lot, but that's not harming him, the pain, the marks they fade in a short amount of time.

I do miss the dynamic with a masochist from time to time but so far I haven't found another who is enough of a service focused slave as well.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 21

RE: Mistress are you a Sadist? - 12/9/2005 12:30:15 PM

LadyMorgynn

Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline

NOT a sadist here, actually. I'm into the "I'm a Goddess, worship me" D/s lifestyle :) I love having a submissive male (or even female!) kneeling at My feet, begging to know what I wish, and to be allowed to carry that out. To know that My every wish is his command, that he enjoys pleasing me, and that merely a frown would have him begging My forgiveness. What's not to like?

_____________________________

---
Lady Morgynn
www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 22

RE: Mistress are you a Sadist? - 12/9/2005 2:57:25 PM

MizSuz

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I am definitely NOT an SSC person!

Hear here! I'm with you on that.

Consent, though, is a key thing for me. The rest is open to interpretation and perspective.

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 23

RE: Mistress are you a Sadist? - 12/9/2005 3:43:17 PM

MsEmily

Posts: 53
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline

I see myself as a Playful sadist. sensual, but I love to push limits. I love to hear and feel them respond. pushing them further and further. I see myself as nurturing, and sensual but I love getting to that point where there are no limits, that I can take them to whatever point that I wish, and they want to take it,because they worship and trust me. I love that pleading look in their eyes.

~MsEmily

(in reply to talmar)

Post #: 24

RE: Mistress are you a Sadist? - 12/9/2005 5:28:46 PM

talmar

Posts: 338
Joined: 11/13/2005
Status: offline

That sounds hot! I never used a safe word with the Domme I served. She knew just how to push & stretch my limits.

(in reply to MsEmily)

Post #: 25

RE: Mistress are you a Sadist? - 12/9/2005 5:32:35 PM

talmar

Posts: 338
Joined: 11/13/2005
Status: offline

Miz Suz,
Hi. Can you elaborate alittle for me why you are not into the SSC? I am just curious.

(in reply to MizSuz)

Post #: 26

RE: Mistress are you a Sadist? - 12/9/2005 8:25:49 PM

MizSuz

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: talmar

Miz Suz,
Hi. Can you elaborate alittle for me why you are not into the SSC? I am just curious.

I think it's become a mindless mantra, as often as not used to draw lines of judgement and division. In it's essense it's a catchy phrase meant to create awareness, to my mind awareness of personal responsibility, mostly. How it gets twisted into being a bludgeoning device to beat people over the head with is a phenomenon that has always amazed me. But my amazement doesn't stop it from happening.

If it were SAFE it would bore me. Personal responsibility dictates that we manage risk when we CHOOSE to do these things. Also, to some extent "safe" is a matter of degrees. perception and preference. Some people don't eat sushi because of the risk of becoming ill. Obviously, not every one agrees that it's not a risk worth taking.

Just who is supposed to decide for me what SANE is? Personal responsibility dictates that we monitor our mental health and be responsible for the management thereof. If it were diabetis instead of mental health this would be understood. Being personally responsible for my mental health and my actions I will decide for myself what constitutes sanity and the lack thereof in my own life, thank you. I'm actually pretty well practiced at it.

Consent I must have clearly. That's one reason I like the proper amount of begging. It keeps the lines of personal responsibility very clear. I don't play with victims and I'm not a victimizer. If this one won't give me what I'm looking for that one will. Simple. No harm, no foul.

How can you possibly condense a personal process of integrity down to three letters and expect it to clearly communicate all the thought and concious choice that should go into this?

Instead, SSC has become a way for one person to say to another person "there's something wrong with you if you're not like this."

Fuck that.

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to talmar)

Post #: 27

RE: Mistress are you a Sadist? - 12/10/2005 5:19:19 AM

LadyJulieAnn

Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MizSuz

I think it's become a mindless mantra, as often as not used to draw lines of judgement and division. In it's essense it's a catchy phrase meant to create awareness, to my mind awareness of personal responsibility, mostly. How it gets twisted into being a bludgeoning device to beat people over the head with is a phenomenon that has always amazed me. But my amazement doesn't stop it from happening.

If it were SAFE it would bore me. Personal responsibility dictates that we manage risk when we CHOOSE to do these things. Also, to some extent "safe" is a matter of degrees. perception and preference. Some people don't eat sushi because of the risk of becoming ill. Obviously, not every one agrees that it's not a risk worth taking.

Just who is supposed to decide for me what SANE is? Personal responsibility dictates that we monitor our mental health and be responsible for the management thereof. If it were diabetis instead of mental health this would be understood. Being personally responsible for my mental health and my actions I will decide for myself what constitutes sanity and the lack thereof in my own life, thank you. I'm actually pretty well practiced at it.

Consent I must have clearly. That's one reason I like the proper amount of begging. It keeps the lines of personal responsibility very clear. I don't play with victims and I'm not a victimizer. If this one won't give me what I'm looking for that one will. Simple. No harm, no foul.

How can you possibly condense a personal process of integrity down to three letters and expect it to clearly communicate all the thought and concious choice that should go into this?

Instead, SSC has become a way for one person to say to another person "there's something wrong with you if you're not like this."

Fuck that.

I've heard people use "RACK" to be more accurate in their ideas about safety. RACK is "Risk Aware Consensual Kink".

Be well,
Julie

(in reply to MizSuz)

Post #: 28

RE: Mistress are you a Sadist? - 12/10/2005 5:45:59 AM

MizSuz

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyJulieAnn

I've heard people use "RACK" to be more accurate in their ideas about safety. RACK is "Risk Aware Consensual Kink".

Be well,
Julie

Yup, I'm aware of RACK. I'd rather not participate in the acronyms in this regard if I can avoid it. I don't like what happened to the last one. I'll use WIITWD and the like, but for something like this I'd rather espouse thorough thought.

The point is to THINK and it seems abbreviating something as important as this particular topic, while it may facilitate expedient communication especially in the written medium, tends to give people permission to abbreviate the thought process required to responsibly determine where we are on the subject for ourselves and with each other. I'm not ok with abbreviating the thought processes on safety and personal responsibility/ choice.

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to LadyJulieAnn)

Post #: 29

RE: Mistress are you a Sadist? - 12/10/2005 6:13:22 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

sensual, romantic, passionate, when the mood strikes and when he says --no. so I gues that's a yes---but to a degree.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to talmar)

Post #: 30

RE: Mistress are you a Sadist? - 12/10/2005 11:32:35 AM

LadyCompassion

Posts: 87
Joined: 11/4/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Consensual sadist. It wouldn't amuse me to give pain to someone who didn't want it.

I would say I am the same as Lady Hibiscus. I find it fun to inflict pain, but only if he wants it. I don't think it would be fair to me to do something to him that he really did not want or agree to.

(in reply to talmar)

Post #: 31

RE: Mistress are you a Sadist? - 12/10/2005 11:47:02 AM

MizSuz

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyCompassion

quote:

Consensual sadist. It wouldn't amuse me to give pain to someone who didn't want it.

I would say I am the same as Lady Hibiscus. I find it fun to inflict pain, but only if he wants it. I don't think it would be fair to me to do something to him that he really did not want or agree to.

See, that's a curious thing for me. Being a stickler for consent it's easy to assume that consent means they 'want' it but that's not always the case.

Like I said, I want what they don't WANT to give, but consent to anyway. I really don't care much if they don't like it or 'want' it.

hahahaha!!!!!

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to LadyCompassion)

Post #: 32

RE: Mistress are you a Sadist? - 12/10/2005 6:24:54 PM

talmar

Posts: 338
Joined: 11/13/2005
Status: offline

Thats hot. I am into that style of what I would phrase captive & resistance play. The Domme I served loved to push me to do things I didn't really care for for her amusement & gratification.
Miz Suz I am curious did you used to have a Domme board on The Hang years ago?

(in reply to MizSuz)

Post #: 33

RE: Mistress are you a Sadist? - 12/10/2005 6:41:57 PM

MizSuz

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: talmar

Miz Suz I am curious did you used to have a Domme board on The Hang years ago?

Yup, that's me. I think max keeps it in the archives.

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to talmar)

Post #: 34

RE: Mistress are you a Sadist? - 12/10/2005 7:20:32 PM

talmar

Posts: 338
Joined: 11/13/2005
Status: offline

You may remember me there as daemon? I enjoyed your board there.

(in reply to MizSuz)

Post #: 35

RE: Mistress are you a Sadist? - 12/10/2005 8:20:58 PM

MizSuz

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: talmar

You may remember me there as daemon? I enjoyed your board there.

No shit?!? Kewl. Welcome aboard! It's good to see you here.

It's been a while, hasn't it? I trust you are well?

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to talmar)

Post #: 36

RE: Mistress are you a Sadist? - 12/10/2005 8:54:12 PM

talmar

Posts: 338
Joined: 11/13/2005
Status: offline

Thanks.:) Yes it has been awhile. I have been doing well. I am more experienced than I was in those days. I hope you are doing well?

quote:

ORIGINAL: MizSuz

quote:

ORIGINAL: talmar

You may remember me there as daemon? I enjoyed your board there.

No shit?!? Kewl. Welcome aboard! It's good to see you here.

It's been a while, hasn't it? I trust you are well?

(in reply to MizSuz)

Post #: 37

RE: Mistress are you a Sadist? - 12/10/2005 9:03:23 PM

MizSuz

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: talmar

Thanks.:) Yes it has been awhile. I have been doing well. I am more experienced than I was in those days. I hope you are doing well?

I'm glad to hear you're doing well AND that you've acquired more experience! I hope that means that you've been having fun.

I'm doing quite well. I've gone through a few changes since the days at max and moved a time or two. I just bought a house, have a vanilla job that's going quite well and keep in touch with some of my old friends. I hope to make the time to renovate the new dungeon this winter.

Things are indeed well. :)

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to talmar)

Post #: 38

RE: Mistress are you a Sadist? - 12/10/2005 9:10:23 PM

Misstoyou

Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MizSuz

Like I said, I want what they don't WANT to give, but consent to anyway.

Exactly. And they consent because they know it's what I want, need, desire, and they want to keep me happy. Works for my students as well. lol

edited to add that while my students, at times, think I'm a sadist, they have no idea...

< Message edited by Misstoyou -- 12/10/2005 9:14:01 PM >

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"

(in reply to MizSuz)

Post #: 39

RE: Mistress are you a Sadist? - 12/11/2005 1:11:51 AM

TexasMaam

Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

Go Suz!

Ditto!

Texas Maam

(in reply to MizSuz)

Post #: 40

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