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longtimemuse -> RE: Double standard for Doms & subs? (4/15/2007 4:25:51 PM)
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I generally agree with most posts of yours LA, but here ( in a few instances) I think our opinions differ.
quote:
Should a Dom not try to be an example for their sub?
"Only if they want to be. They aren't your dom to be an example, they are your dom to be an authority figure. "
I suppose this is true in many many cases and while there is certainly nothing wrong with this type of relationship choice for either the Dom or the sub...if they are both aware of the double standard...I personally believe (my belief does not make it the Right answer, only my answer) that a Dom who chooses not to be a good role model is teaching by example...and should probably expect some of that to rub off on their ward (slave/submissive). It tends to be human nature to mimic and adopt overall demeanors of those we are around frequently... While I agree that a dom is there to be an authority figure, I also feel that the best leaders lead by example. Thus, a Dom that is uncommunative, lazy, and uneducated may only draw submissives that are of the same ilk...a dom who is these things (or lack of things) may expect better standards of behavior from their submissive....but eventually water seeks its own level and glaring double standards tend to eventually drive a wedge in most of the relationships I've seen in my past 7 years in the lifestyle. I guess then, my long winded statement, boils down to this...I would have to disagree that a Dom should not try and set a good overall example for their sub.
quote:
Should teachers not try to set an example for their students? Why is there a double standard?
"A fabulous question. "
quote:
Does this seem wrong to anyone else?
"No. The teacher is the authority figure. The student accept them as such AND all the responsibilities and privileges that provides them BY agreeing to be a student to that teacher. "
Here I also disagree...having younger individuals in said educational system. A teacher should provide examples of responsibility, respect, honesty, and punctuality to their students. The students do not have a choice in this situation (they are required by law to attend school from kindergarten through 12th grade).The teacher is a great example of a person in power/authority leading by example. Why should we expect students to spend 7-8 hours a day with someone who is lazy, tardy, and rude and then expect them to understand what types of behavoir are appropriate for them...because the teacher said so?
An adult submissive has the intellect (hopefully) to already understand that they are entering into a relationship that contains double standards...this same submissive can choose to leave the situation if they determine that they cannot learn/ grow with someone who says "do as I say, not as I do". Students do not have this option (unless they have advanced to a level of higher education and are making their own choices)...It is here that I disagree....mostly with the example that was choosen.
Interesting question though and interesting answers...I have always enjoyed a healthy debate.
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