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RE: Stating attachent - 10/14/2008 3:05:51 PM

lovingpet

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This is something he and I just discussed last night. I have not made any changes to my profile as yet because he has not asked me to. I also find that really don't find anyone else with whom I want to pursue so much as a casual encounter. I would make the change if he asked me to. He, on the other hand, has had relationships go a very good distance down the road only to come at serious impasses. He is of the mind that this may be something we will do when he is certain my mind is not clouded by the newness of it all. Ultimately, I will change my profile when he asks and I understand his hesitance and do not interpret it as something suspect. The answers will be as different as the couple, but this is one possible explanation.

lovingpet

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RE: Stating attachent - 10/14/2008 3:15:44 PM

tweedydaddy

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And WHY? would we tell you anything, endangering our being an enigma?

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RE: Stating attachent - 10/14/2008 4:23:02 PM

housemouse61

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Joined: 6/12/2008
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Like Master, i also prefer to keep my private life just that...private. my statement regarding His ownership in my profile is at His direction. But, i suspect anyO/one paying attention could probably figure it out w/o that statement, as well. In real time associations, i am quite proud to say that W/we are a C/couple and all of O/our F/friends know that this has been a truth for a number of years now. And i know that Master feels the same although He's not nearly as mushy about it. ;-) When it comes to P/people i have dealings with only on line; i'm pretty much a "nunya" kinda girl. As far as other Dominants or even submissive males; it doesn't seem to make much difference in this venue, anyway. Even with the statement of Master's ownership; T/they still hit on me like a pinata. LOL

As to the issue of why Dominants may choose not to mention attachment to another in Their profiles; i don't quite buy into the "maybe He's/She's poly" theory. To me that seems to be an excuse for dishonesty by omission. No reason to not disclose an already in place relationship in Their profile if it's already been established that He/She is poly or even in an open relationship. i can more readily accept a "nunya bizness until you *need* to know or until I *want* you know" stance in this regard. Obviously, that's not the kind of statement One would want to include in Their profile unless They're looking to sabotage the possibility of adding to Their household. If you understand my meaning.

If someO/one i know real time is "hiding" a relationship; i'd just have to wonder how long that relationship is going to last. Dishonesty and deception are death blows to any relationship. Sometimes a very slow and painful death, at that. Not to mention that it's just plain unfair to everyO/one involved...even the Dominant, Him/Herself, in some ways. (An awful lot of stress and trouble just to "have Your cake and eat it too".) But, some get off on "playing the game".

i'm all about openness and honesty in a relationship and i'm lucky enough to have a Master who makes it easy to accomplish just that on both sides of the whip. Still doesn't mean everyB/body needs to know O/our relationship business, though. ;-)

Just a few of my thoughts on the subject. And as Dennis Miller said, "That's just my opinion; i could be wrong."

Peace favor and blessed be.

nikki
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RE: Stating attachent - 10/14/2008 4:33:30 PM

PsyVamp

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Both My pet and I have a small statement at the end of our profiles.
I AM poly (and he is a beginner poly) and looking for a slave. This has nothing to do with the way I feel about him or the way he feels about Me, it is just the nature of our dynamic as opposed to what I need in addition.

Lady Jag

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RE: Stating attachent - 10/14/2008 4:52:01 PM

GreedyTop

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Joined: 5/2/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CruelDesires

I do not state my relationship statis in my profile. But then again, it says to go away and leave me alone and always has. So the point is moot. I do it as I am a private person and its none of their business. I am also poly and do play with others. But.. usually with ones that I know real time and not people I meet on the net. *shrugs*

C-D

HEy! does this mean.......

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RE: Stating attachent - 10/14/2008 4:55:14 PM

persephonee

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No, baby...hell do you....never fear.

perse

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RE: Stating attachent - 10/14/2008 5:45:30 PM

housemouse61

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LOL

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RE: Stating attachent - 10/14/2008 6:41:08 PM

servantheart

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From: Houston, TX
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I updated my profile in an effort to avoid those moronic "on your knees, bitch!" emails.

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RE: Stating attachent - 10/14/2008 8:15:45 PM

marieToo

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From: Jersey
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I did it once, but only because the dominant I was with wanted it. I was kind of uncomfortable about it since our relationship wasn't really that solid, and it never really left that whole "under consideration" bullshit phase. Yet he wanted his name there. Then when it ended I had to take it down (twice actually) since we had been on and off more than once. I guess it's ok to announce attachment in your profile if you feel proud to be with someone and if the relationship is secure. Otherwise, I don't plan on doing it again, just to boost someone's ego and keep other potential men away, until he makes up his mind.

< Message edited by marieToo -- 10/14/2008 8:18:27 PM >

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RE: Stating attachent - 10/14/2008 8:23:44 PM

Usako

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quote:

ORIGINAL: servantheart

I updated my profile in an effort to avoid those moronic "on your knees, bitch!" emails.

Something tells me anyone stupid enough to send that as an e-mail doesn't have the IQ high enough to read your profile in the first place. And that's the worst part of "stating a relationship" in a profile...it doesn't turn away the true wankers that bother people.

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RE: Stating attachent - 10/15/2008 10:00:14 AM

subtee

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What if they make it up?

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(not that anyone would actually do that)

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RE: Stating attachent - 10/15/2008 10:04:52 AM

colouredin

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ohhh tee i wanna meet him he sounds proper domly

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RE: Stating attachent - 10/15/2008 10:07:18 AM

subtee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

ohhh tee i wanna meet him he sounds proper domly

Oops:

Subtee, Property of ProperLordSirIronUberMasterMentorLeaderDaddyDomsterDarknessDisciplinistCreativeMadPervertyOwnerKnightlyVampireDragonishWizardScarySadistMeanie

Thanks coloured!

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RE: Stating attachent - 10/15/2008 10:28:54 AM

KatyLied

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quote:

And that's the worst part of "stating a relationship" in a profile...it doesn't turn away the true wankers that bother people.

Not only that, it can also have the opposite of the intended effect. What looks appealing to some dominants: a submissive who is already taken. They figure if she's with a guy, she is worthy and at some point may become attainable. Some may view it as a challenge: perhaps I can get her away from this guy. Hence the "if it doesn't work out with your dom, let me know" messages.

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