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subtee -> RE: Sorry I'm late to work today... (10/15/2008 2:04:45 PM)
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I was getting a tattoo of our company logo so I could always be a billboard for the organization I'm so proud to serve, and they ran out of ink halfway through - it's that big. So I had to wait. While I was waiting, I decided to run and get you a croissant and grande-latte-mochachino-lite-on-the-cream-but-extra-sprinkles, and the Starbucks was held up by robbers; however, I was determined to bring your treat so I had to negotiate the perp out of it. Citizen's arrest, blah, blah, blah. It took a while. So then I went back to get the rest of the company tattoo, so full of corporate pride, and then I realized that it had sprinkled this morning, and your car probably had water spots. I sped home to get my detailing kit, and to put your Starbucks beverage and croissant on a warmer for you. While running out the door to spiff your car, I glanced at the "Ihatetheboss" blog that I constantly monitor and respond to on your behalf. Whew, were they prolific this morning! Not capable of letting such vitriol against my beloved boss stand, I stoically and firmly blasted, bludgeoned and bloodied each blogger with the truth of your benevolent goodbossness. I got the carpal tunnel syndrome. I'm not complaining the pain is worth it! But I found I needed wrist splints (yes, both wrists are damaged--it's a "reminder" of how cool of a boss you are!!), so I duct taped myself all up, leaving digital flexibility to wash your car. I balanced the piping hot coffee and croissant on my head, carefully walked the 30 miles to work, detailed your car, inside and out with Starbucks on my head and here I am!
Please dock my pay for my tardiness. I will try harder tomorrow.
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