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Introductions. - 10/15/2008 7:08:42 AM   
littlesnafu


Posts: 2
Joined: 3/27/2008
Status: offline 		I have seen a lot of Dommes on Collarme that I would like to meet. My problem is I never know how to address them in the first message. What is the proper way to introduce myself?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Introductions. - 10/15/2008 7:22:28 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		Read their profile, if they dont request something speccific then just write a polite message, letter form IE Dear so and so From So and So, not just one line and not asking to be 'dominated'

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to littlesnafu)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Introductions. - 10/15/2008 7:28:05 AM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		What the smart one above me said.. *wink*

also, search this forum ... there are some great ideas on how to approach someone...

I think you'll find most of us, though not all, prefer to be approached first as people... the rest can follow if its going to...

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to littlesnafu)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Introductions. - 10/15/2008 8:01:37 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		The depends on what you mean by "meet them"...

The correct approach is always to look first at the profile and follow whatever information it contains.

Second consider why you want to "meet them".

If it's to talk, you can do that online first so just a friendly note that explains why you want to talk such as a post they made in the forums or a journal entry that made you think.

If it's to potentially scene then you need to still approach her as a person first and a play partner second but be honest that you are looking for a play partner. Seriously consider distance between you to before you do this... if you can't drive it easily on a regular basis, is it really worth either of your time?

Finally if you are looking for an owner or a long-term relationship frankly I don't you can know that just from online posting or a profile. Consider what of the other two reasons you might want to "meet her" first.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to littlesnafu)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Introductions. - 10/15/2008 10:04:04 AM   
SnowRanger


Posts: 503
Joined: 5/25/2008
From: Sinsinnati
Status: offline 		Hello,

I would recomend gathering  intellegence before conatcting someone.  A complete reading of the profile is just the start.  Going over the "Lives for, Loves, Likes' portion at the bottom of the profile can make your eyes cross... do it any way.  Check out their message board postings.

When you write, a message should mention something they have written (I like what you said about Einstein's Unified Field Theory).  A genuine complement is a great way to start; but, generally stay away from comments about photos.  I recently read about something called humor.  If you have a sense of it, it seems to work wonders.

One thing not to do is send a Mistress a photo of a rooster (why would you want to?).  They seem to universally despise "cock photos."  I don't get it but there it is.

Good Luck!
Mike
SnowRanger
Superior Skill and Daring


_____________________________

You can't help where you were born; and, you may not have much to say about where you die; but, you can and you should try to pass the days in between as a good man.
Anton Myrer Once an Eagle

(in reply to littlesnafu)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Introductions. - 10/15/2008 12:30:27 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		You have some great advice here.  On a personal level, I would like to add that I hate when in a first or second email someone talks about pleasing me sexually.  I end up thinking... what the hell... I don't even know you and that is not something I even wish to think of at that point!  I don't know at that point if I even like the person much less wish to think of them between my legs!  I don't want to know that is their focus... pleasing me sexually.  Their focus at that point should be in getting to know me and letting me know them. 

Good luck to you!

(in reply to SnowRanger)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Introductions. - 10/15/2008 12:37:58 PM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline 		It is so important for you to read their profile! I just got a c-mail from someone asking me if I wanted a young sub  
 
If you can't bother to read their profiles, then what would make you think that they would bother to respond to your email?
 
Common sense. If you were at a public venue and you see a woman you would like to meet, would you really walk up to her and pull out a cock shot of yourself? Not if you wanted to have the same amount of teeth you walked into the place with <s>
 
I treat everyone with the same regard in which I am treated. If someone sends me a polite email, I will respond in kind. If I get a nasty one, delete is my friend :)
 
Good luck with your search and welcome to the forums.

_____________________________





(in reply to littlesnafu)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Introductions. - 10/16/2008 8:33:51 AM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		Yep read Her profile! Make sure you are in an appropriate location for Her if She mentions that in Her profile. For eg, if you're not resident in Australia DON'T bother contacting Me, I make it clear that's what I want. Addressing Her by Her screen name is generally the safest first. She can't really object to that since She chose it! Whereas assuming She'd like to be called Goddess, Mistress, Lady, Miss or Ma'am can be a recipe for disaster! Be polite, check your spelling and grammar and write complete words ... most of Us don't get excited by "wld luv 2 c ur tits"! Don't beg, whine or grovel, don't ask to be Dominated, don't talk sex first off ... just be nice and be relevant!
Good luck!
Maam Jay aka violet[A]
Oh and if they have a sub name as well as a Dominant one as I do (some of Us lucky gals go both ways) ... and you want to approach them as a Domme, DON'T call them by their sub name!! No sub boy's gonna call Me violet and live

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to MistressOfGa)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Introductions. - 10/16/2008 8:41:02 AM   
VampiresLair


Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline 		Another thing to remember... do not make your first note a list of what you want hem to do to you when you meet.
I would say hello, and let them know what it was about them and their profile and likely pictures that made you want to contact them. If they have beautiful photos, a compliment is never out of place. But a polite compliment, not something vulgar.  I got a message the other day from someone telling me how "perfectly delicious my ass looked and how much hed love to bury his tongue in it" as a compliment. Not quite what I am talking about.
Let someone know you ahve read the profile and why you think you and she might have something in common. What do you wish to gain by contacting her? Do you share interests? Are you within her prefered locale, if she states one?

As MoGa said, think about how you would approach someone in real life. If you would realistically say "Wow, that dress is beautiful on you" then saying it in a letter is a good thing. If you would actually walk up to someone in a club and say "Mistress, I wish you to teach me what a worthless Dog I am!" then I wish you luck... you are a braver soul than I.
Keep in mind you are talking to a person, and not YOUR dominant unless she makes moves toward that direction. There is nothing I find more offputting in a first contact than someone refering to themselves as mine, or me as theirs.

Good luck
DV


_____________________________

Separately we are DiurnalVampire and DVsFox

10/18 Wedding date. 1 year and still blissfully happy

10/13/10 3 year anniversary of his becoming my Fox

Talk impolitely to me, baby - Thanks sunshinemiss



(in reply to MaamJay)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Introductions. - 10/16/2008 10:38:05 PM   
khem


Posts: 300
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline 		Short.  Sweet.  No fetish wish lists.  No past Mistress drama monologue (I just got another one of those...).  Something friendly.  Make reference to her profile in some way.  Make sure you're actually what she's looking for.  If she says "no one out of state," talking about how you can move to her state is disrespecting her preference.  Spell check the damn thing. 

If you do all of the above, you'll be in the top 1%.

(in reply to VampiresLair)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Introductions. - 10/17/2008 5:18:53 AM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		READ AND OBEY the profile!  Many females have directions listed in the profile for the way they wish to be approached.  ie - Mine says "Don't beg for IM's" - Half of the men who approach me saying "I love your profile.  IM me at ***"  I answer, "You obviously did not actually READ my profile because I distinctly say that IM's must be earned."

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to khem)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Introductions. - 10/17/2008 8:54:47 PM   
spinntja


Posts: 31
Joined: 9/13/2004
Status: offline 		Read the profile. Read the profile. Read the profile. Then be sure in your message to act as if you've read the profile. That will put you ahead of 9 of 10 applicants and reduce the changes of a virtual kick to the teeth. Good luck! -- SJ

(in reply to MsStarlett)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Introductions. - 10/19/2008 6:36:55 AM   
beeble


Posts: 799
Joined: 5/25/2005
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

MistressofGa wrote:
If you were at a public venue and you see a woman you would like to meet, would you really walk up to her and pull out a cock shot of yourself? Not if you wanted to have the same amount of teeth you walked into the place with

Doth that mean tha, when I'm in ma thefentieth and haf no teef, I can thafely approath thekthy ladieth in clubth an thow them my penith?

beeble

(in reply to MistressOfGa)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Introductions. - 10/19/2008 3:25:57 PM   
PanthersMom


Posts: 2215
Joined: 11/26/2007
From: Cleveland Ohio
Status: offline 		trust the advice, lol, as poor beeble has learned the hard way!  maybe we should send out a search party for his teeth?
PM

_____________________________

That which does not kill me, better run pretty damn fast

I miss my ex, but my aim is improving!




(in reply to beeble)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Introductions. - 10/19/2008 7:01:04 PM   
FetishRose


Posts: 212
Joined: 8/7/2008
Status: offline 		Easy peasy, lemon squeezy!  Just remember...these are humans, and these are women.  Sincere courtesy makes all the difference in the world!  Let her know that you have read her profile, and mention something specific about it that lets her know you actually did.  Also, present yourself well, play up your strengths, show yourself to be an articulate and thoughtful individual. Don't mention sex or being dominated in the first message (thats just my thought...others may disagree!), but instead let her know that you would be interested in getting to know one another if that acceptable to her.
Close the message politely.  Don't message her ten minutes after she reads your message and doesn't reply.  In fact, if she doesn't reply, take that as a "not interested" and move on.
Hope this helps!

(in reply to PanthersMom)
Profile   Post #: 15
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