|
beargonewild -> More BLONDE jokes (10/15/2008 5:00:40 PM)
|
NAILS
Two blondes with hammers, Ann and Susie, were doing some carpentry work on a Habitat for Humanity house. Ann, who was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail, and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.
Susie, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, 'Why are you throwing those nails away?' Ann explained, 'When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end, and I throw them away.'
Susie got very upset and yelled, 'You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!'.
CAR DENTS
A blonde was driving home after a game, and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The mechanic saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her to go home and blow into the tailpipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.
So the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees, and started blowing into the tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened. Her blonde roommate saw her, and asked, 'What are you doing?' The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes and said, 'Uh, like, hello! You need to roll up the windows first.'
DRIVE-IN MOVIE
Did you hear about the two blondes who almost froze to death in a drive-in movie? They had gone to see 'Closed for the Winter'.
THE THERMOS
A blonde was shopping at Target, and came across a shiny silver thermos. She was fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it to the clerk to ask what it was. The clerk said, 'That's a thermos ... It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold.' 'Wow, said the blonde, 'that's amazing .. I'm going to buy it!' So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day.
Her boss saw it on her desk. 'What's that?' he asked. 'Why, that's a thermos. It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold,' she replied. Her boss inquired, 'What do you have in it?' The blonde replied, 'Two popsicles and some coffee.'
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST:
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss asks sympathetically, 'What's the matter?' The blonde replies, 'Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother passed away.' The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, 'Why don't you go home? Take the day off to relax and rest.'
'Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it, and I have the best chance of doing that here.' The boss agrees and the blonde works as usual. A couple of hours pass, and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out from his office, and sees the blonde crying hysterically.
'Are you okay?' he asks. 'No,' exclaims the blonde, 'I just received a horrible call from my sister. Her mother died, too!'
|
|
|
|
