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RE: Comments or Suggestions - 10/18/2008 4:44:00 PM

TexasMaam

Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

He's being resistant because he is either engaging in or longing for a vanilla or switch relationship on the side.

You're in a tough spot if you care about the boy. If you're hard wired to be a Domme you'll simply have to set the boundaries.

I have a different suggestion from those you've read here:

Shun him.

Do not let him have contact with you. If he emails you - don't respond. Don't answer the phone. Cut off all contact that he has with you.

Keep the door open if you want to: listen to his manic voicemails that are one extreme one day and the other extreme the next, read his manic emails, but never respond.

If he shows up at the door to say 'hello', tell him you're too busy to waste your time, and mean it, and close the door in his face - don't let him in.

If after several months he finally figures out he has to do something 'amazing' to get your attention, respond if his efforts move you to do so.

If he starts his manic behavior over again, shun him again.

If he stays resistant to your Dominance for more than 4 or 6 months, dump him altogether and shun him permanently. Delete the vm msgs and emails, delete the pics, et al.

Best of luck,

TexasMaam

< Message edited by TexasMaam -- 10/18/2008 4:45:36 PM >

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Post #: 21

RE: Comments or Suggestions - 10/18/2008 4:57:10 PM

MsMillgrove

Posts: 260
Joined: 5/27/2008
Status: offline

Lot of sound advice given. Nothing to add except that you left a door open... to "maybe later". Since you will be seeing him in the future, don't leave that door open. You'll end up knocked down again for sure. Look what he did to you. For whatever reason. Unforgiveable. Period.
After time passes, the bad parts tend to soften and drift away. If you make the decision right now to never re-engage, you won't be tempted later to give a second chance. This is a choice between you and him--aren't you more important to yourself?
So what if he get's his "head together" later? You put in ten months on him, he owed you an honest account--a full report--on what happened at Kinky College. You didn't get one, you don't know what happened. Now it doesn't matter where his head is at because he let you down so severely. It's totally over.
Hope you will choose now to let it be ended, tho it must be very painful.
When I had to let a sub go that I adored, I couldn't play for months with my treasured first girl. I felt so guilty about it, but she stood by me saying she knew I'd feel better in awhile. She said, even if you never want to play again, I won't leave you. Imagine that loyalty! Eventually I did get over it..and we went back to our good play times together. Grief demands and takes its time, which is different for each person.

(in reply to SnowRanger)

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Post #: 22

RE: Comments or Suggestions - 10/21/2008 10:13:25 PM

MistresseLotus

Posts: 443
Joined: 9/19/2008
From: (aka LotusSong)
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelique01

I've run into a couple of odd things and would like some input. (Warning slightly long story)

My sub has also been my sig. other for 10 months. In September we were looking for an apartment together. I took a small temporary place until we found something. Last month my sub went to Kinky Kollege without me (I had just gotten a promotion at work and couldn't get away).

... sounds like he met someone ...

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I leave it to the 20-somethings to do the "open-minded, total unconditional acceptance thing" for it's how THEY learn that all the things others older than they have deemed BS, are in fact BS. What a waste of a decade.

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RE: Comments or Suggestions - 10/21/2008 11:34:28 PM

FullfigRIMaam

Posts: 718
Joined: 6/21/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
. . . What darchChylde said.

It's a calamity to me that you should feel like that. Your spirit doesn't need a remedy, it needs an ambulance. Force be with you.

Ditto! Good luck, M

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"touching was and still is and will always be the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni
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Post #: 24

RE: Comments or Suggestions - 10/22/2008 8:11:55 AM

Chi

Posts: 68
Joined: 1/31/2005
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LadyAngelique01: When reading your post I am reminded of a passage I read as a child, “Omar Khayyam,” ”I sent my soul to the invisible some tale of afterlife to tell, by and by it returned to me, saying you are your heaven or hell.”

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Post #: 25