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BossyShoeBitch -> RE: tomorow we take sparky tp be put to sleep (10/16/2008 8:18:29 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: maybemaybenot
If you can possibly find it in yourself to be there holding him, please do it. I have had to do this quite a few times and a little piece of me withers each time I have had to do it. BUT, being there, letting my friend die hearing my voice, seeing my face makes me think he passed knowing how much I loved him. Somewhere inside me, I think it was easier on him. That could very well just be how I give myself peace at loosing them, but I hope what I believe is true.
I am soo sorry for what you are going thru.
Waiting at the Gate
I explained to St. Peter
I'd rather stay here
Just outside the Pearly Gate.
I won't be a nuisance, I won't even bark,
I'll be very patient and wait.
I'll be right here chewing
A celestial bone
No matter how long you may be.
'Cause I'd miss you too much,
If I went in alone--
It wouldn't be heaven for me.
I was reading this thread, barely keeping it together until this post. Now I'm sobbing.
It was 1990 and I was 23 years old when my boyfriend and I decided to go to the Humane Society and look at puppies. There he was in this big cage, this little brown ball of fluff. I could only get him to wake up for a minute or so at a time, he was so tiny! My boyfriend decided to surprise me with him a week or so later. I protested. I didn't want the responsibility of a dog but I fell in love with him and we named him Shogun. We were so clueless! Didn't have a cage and didn't have any idea what we were doing. Shogun frigging destroyed that apartment lol! He ripped up the wall to wall carpeting; ate the drywall; destroyed the blinds and peed everywhere! Finally we got the bright idea to bring him to a training class. It was great. Socialized him and he trained up really well.
When Shogun was about a year old, he bolted out the front door after a cat and got hit by a pickup truck. Got dragged for a bit. My boyfriend tried to pick him up but Shogun was in shock and took off running. He had to chase him and tackle him to catch him. He was torn up pretty bad and my boyfriend (who was a cop) hauled ass to the animal hospital with lights and sirens blaring. I met them there and from there on for about three months, every single paycheck I earned went to pay the vet bills. I would have sold everything I owned to help Shogun get better. He did get better. As he matured he morphed from a demon dog to the coolest dog there was. Everyone, I mean everyone loved this dog. He was strong but calm. Loving and patient with my nieces and nephews and eventually my own kids. They pulled on him and sat on him and took his toys. And he loved them dearly and they loved him. Shogun got along and played well with all other dogs. He was the Fonzi of the canine world. Time marched on and I broke up with the boyfriend and met my ex-husband. One of the criteria for me to agree to go out with him was that "my dog better like you!"
Shogun liked to sleep in between us. Horizontally. The guy never had a decent night's sleep! lol
In 1995 we brought home Loki from the pound so Shogun would have a companion when we had kids. She was a little gray border collie mix that became like that eager terrier in the cartoons to Shogun's "Spike". We lucked out with two dream dogs.
One day in 2004, Shogun got old. That is seriously how I remember it. One day, this fucking brick shithouse of a dog - strong, muscular, fast- got old. His quality of life had diminished rapidly and he had trouble walking because of the arthritis (developed in part b/c of the car accident years before). I asked the vet to promise me he would tell me when it got to the point of my being selfish by my not putting him down. He told me a few months later that it was time.
On Shogun's last day, everyone came to see him to say good bye. My family, friends, neighborhood kids. It hit my Dad pretty hard. Shogun lived with him for about a year when my ex-husband and I had our first apartment. My dad would tell me how glad he was that I didn't listen to him when he told me to have Shogun put down after the car accident because of the expense.
My ex-husband and I took our other dog Loki to the vet with us so she could say goodbye to Shogun and have closure. They were very good to us there. Brought us to a special room, dimmed the lights and gave Shogun a fluffy mat to lay on. I sat on the floor with his head in my lap. First they gave him a sedative and for 20 minutes or so I cradled him and talked to him. I kissed him and comforted him while they gave him the last shot. Seconds later he was gone. They brought Loki in to see him and say goodbye. I stayed and cradled and talked to him for a while after that but soon realized it was time to truly say goodbye.
It never crossed my mind NOT to stay with Shogun until the end. He deserved nothing less.
I miss Shogun everyday but I am so grateful to have shared this life with him. I wouldn't change a thing.
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