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Is it a small world? - 10/16/2008 11:55:05 PM   
Tslaveboy


Posts: 211
Joined: 11/6/2006
Status: offline 		I've been involved in BDSM/fetish for about 2 years now. It seems that lately when I've met a new Domme, she either knows of me from some other Domme or she is close friends with someone I've seen before.

These aren't just local Dommes either. They are from New York to Los Angeles.

How tightly-knit is the BDSM/fetish community?
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RE: Is it a small world? - 10/17/2008 1:38:09 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		There exists, often, a strong sisterhood throughout the Fem Dom community. Sometimes, this is also true for the rest of the community. Hope what they're saying is good.

Master Fire


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RE: Is it a small world? - 10/17/2008 9:12:37 AM   
BRNaughtyAngel


Posts: 1821
Status: offline 		A couple of friends of mine in the local community are always saying........ "We fish from a very small pond." and "We're an incestuous bunch."

The incestuous part isn't literal.  It's because so many people start and end relationships, then move on to someone else they know in the community.  Some days you need a program to keep up with who is now with whom.  

And fishing from a small pond is the truth.  People who are actively interested in seeking partners in this world likely make up a small percentage of any given population.  Then if you happen to fall outside of some idea of "normal" in what you are seeking, then your pond gets even smaller.

As you are finding, many people either know each other, or know of each other, as well as those they are/have been involved with. 

< Message edited by BRNaughtyAngel -- 10/17/2008 9:15:09 AM >

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RE: Is it a small world? - 10/17/2008 11:01:43 PM   
Tslaveboy


Posts: 211
Joined: 11/6/2006
Status: offline 		That does make a lot of sense. When I consider the general kinkster pond, narrowed down to the pro-Domme pond, narrowed down to specific fetishes pond; I guess it is a very tiny pond. Or perhaps tiny tributaries since the arms of the pond stretch across so many borders.

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RE: Is it a small world? - 10/19/2008 9:58:07 PM   
unbroken33


Posts: 56
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tslaveboy

How tightly-knit is the BDSM/fetish community?


i would say that it's very tight knit.  But don't let that scare you too bad, because there are also multiple circles within it, and being out with one doesn't usually mean being out with another.  But then what do i know...  Congratulations on making such an impression that you're talked about!

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RE: Is it a small world? - 10/19/2008 11:19:35 PM   
Tslaveboy


Posts: 211
Joined: 11/6/2006
Status: offline 		I'm glad what is being said is positive about me, and I hope I don't do something to create a negative ripple. It was more of a surprise about the 6 or less degrees of separation within the community.

But my concern is that if it is a tight-knit group, has it ever happened that someone could become an outcast from the community?

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RE: Is it a small world? - 10/20/2008 4:57:22 AM   
VivaciousSub


Posts: 446
Joined: 9/7/2008
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline
quote:

But my concern is that if it is a tight-knit group, has it ever happened that someone could become an outcast from the community?


It happens in groups all the time, sometimes for no "good" reason - look at the cliques in HS where one day you're in, the next day you're shoved through the combine because you wore the wrong shoes - but most of the time because groups develop their own standards of behavior unique to them. As people change, they can find themselves being more or less in line with the standards of the group. One group's outcast is another group's leader.

I can certainly understand not wanting to be found displeasing, however. I think as long as you live your life to a standard you can be proud of, you'll be fine.

< Message edited by VivaciousSub -- 10/20/2008 4:59:15 AM >

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RE: Is it a small world? - 10/20/2008 8:00:08 AM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline 		all the dommes across the world know me from my hot photo's 

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RE: Is it a small world? - 10/20/2008 9:17:04 AM   
HotMistress22


Posts: 58
Joined: 3/23/2008
Status: offline 		I agree, it is a tight-knit group of wonderful people.  I compare notes with other Dommes frequently.  Usually in a positive manner.  Once in a blue moon do we actaully warn eachother about a freak.  Most males are decent and well behaved, from my experience.

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RE: Is it a small world? - 10/20/2008 1:59:12 PM   
IvyMorgan


Posts: 729
Joined: 7/5/2007
From: Midlands, UK
Status: offline 		I was at the BBB (fetish event in Birmingham) on Sunday, with my Ex, and he was talking to his friend, and then I got talking to her friends, who, it turns out, I have been talking to online for a few months.

One quarter of the people I'm "seeing" met me when I was with the Ex on my first ever club night, I was just never introduced at the time.  When we finally worked out why we recognised each other, it was much giggles.  They also provided the piece of kit for the club that broke in transit and that I then fixed :P

It is a very small world.

Heck, Soft was sitting opposite me eating a sandwich at a munch and I came up with, "are you soft as in collarme soft?" and lo, she was... 

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RE: Is it a small world? - 10/20/2008 3:59:04 PM   
PrincessJ77


Posts: 372
Joined: 7/25/2008
From: point A
Status: offline 		With the internet now, yes it is a small world.  (Damn you Tslaveboy...  now I have "It's a Small World After All" in my head   )

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RE: Is it a small world? - 10/20/2008 6:56:54 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tslaveboy
How tightly-knit is the BDSM/fetish community?


I have to go the other way around and say it is not tight knit at all.  You are hanging out in the same circles as one another.  Of course everyone is going to know the two of you.  Even if you don't realize it at first.
Internet friends does not make a close knit friend.  There are tens of thousands of people in the US alone.  I know people from all over yet I know nobody in the grand scheme of things.

I've known people to embrace actual murderers within the scene, because nobody cared enough to get to know one another.  That is not close knit.  If you've done hard prison time for murder.  Well, that is not a person I'd want to hang around.
Just an example of course though it has happened more times than I want to count.


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RE: Is it a small world? - 10/21/2008 1:59:08 PM   
IvyMorgan


Posts: 729
Joined: 7/5/2007
From: Midlands, UK
Status: offline 		I guess I'm not thinking of the online scene so much as the one that exists in the "real world".

I know poeple on the "London" scene, and the "Midlands" scene (we may be a small coutry, but we subdivided it anyway :P).  I would say that the London one can be quite small, and the smallness is aided by sites such as IC.  I'm far less active on the Midlands one (as much as I am active on any scene, I rarely go out, bless me) but have a few good friends on it, and, should I want to meet someone from it, would be able to find a reference to their character without too much effort.

Just my tuppance.

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RE: Is it a small world? - 10/21/2008 4:10:30 PM   
silkncarol


Posts: 318
Status: offline 		It really is a small community.... especially here in Florida.  
I have friends in S. FL....they have a friend in Alabama......she knew my last Master when he lived in Atlanta.....and so on and so on.  
Sometimes it's all about networking...<laugh>

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