RE: Rules for subs

RE: Rules for subs (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master

Message

kiwisub12 -> RE: Rules for subs (10/18/2008 5:09:55 PM)
See - simple rules, and if you look at the end result you can see the reason VL has them. Very logical.[:)]

Venatrix -> RE: Rules for subs (10/18/2008 6:10:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MadRabbit quote: ORIGINAL: Venatrix Well, the problem with a whole bunch of rules is that it means that the dom/me has to spend a lot more time enforcing them. If he or she has nothing better to do, then that's fine. What the point would be, I've no idea, but that's just me. Fortunately, I have more interesting things to do with my life than constantly police someone's behaviour. Sure, I imagine there is plenty of relationships out there where the submissive party has no desire or motive to follow the rules and attempts to break them. But in a relationship where two adults are working towards the same goal and not against each other, then rules just provide clear expectations for how someone can be pleasing, thus becoming a constructive tool and not a burden on the dominant. And, as I said, if someone has the time and the inclination to enforce a bunch of rules, that's great. I don't. That's why I said above that I have one rule: be considerate. That's how a sub can best be pleasing to me. I'm not sure why this is a point of discussion.

YourhandMyAss -> RE: Rules for subs (10/18/2008 6:30:09 PM)
Personally I wouldn't agree to a bunch of rules. And rules others have come up with their sub, won't always be right for your situation. quote: ORIGINAL: smoky Hello- I'm wondering if you all could give some examples of rules you have for your sub, both in and out of the bedroom. My Dom and i are both new to this and both would like to have more rules for more control. I would be interested in hearing what rules you all have that you have particuarly enjoyed. Thank you.

KatyLied -> RE: Rules for subs (10/18/2008 6:35:31 PM)
Rules can be hot, though. The first time I confronted "rules" was with a guy I was dating, we were not D/s (at the time I didn't know what D/s was). One afternoon he handed me a folded piece of paper that was titled "Terms of Engagement". It was a list of things that he expected me to do, including how I was to greet him when I went to his house. Immediate melt.

YourhandMyAss -> RE: Rules for subs (10/18/2008 6:43:27 PM)
That depends, you have to absolutely know for sure they'd like it. I did something one time I thought was thoughtful, and there for daddy would like and he was unhappy with my actions. quote: ORIGINAL: Tantriqu good pups can't go wrong with asking themselves, 'What would Mistress like?' before any action.

intrainingformas -> RE: Rules for subs (10/18/2008 6:56:27 PM)
Now, certainly I do not place myself in any form of expertise, but thought I would share just a few of my Master's rules. Keep in mind I am a greenie, and have only come to my awakening in the last 3 months... Master has simple rules for me right now 1. always address him as Master, and sign off as submissive jaime 2. respect the Doms/Masters I do encounter 3. never masterbate with out permission 4. write in my slave journal in only my attire. (yes I read the post on being a slave.. and I have no issues with that) 5. recently, I was granted permission to meet and connect with woman, so long as I am clear of whom I belong and provide him with visuals. Not hard.

proudsub -> RE: Rules for subs (10/18/2008 11:26:02 PM)
About the only rule He has is for me to keep the cat away from Him.

Kirata -> RE: Rules for subs (10/19/2008 1:22:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: celticlord2112 1. Trust Sir's judgment. 2. Be honest with Sir at all times. 3. Understand that you are Property. 4. Your primary Goal is to please Sir. 5. Your primary Fear should be Sir's displeasure. 6. Rewards from Sir are earned, not given. 7. Pain is a gift from Sir; cherish it always. 8. Always be aware you are a Sexual Creature. 9. Constantly strive to better yourself. 10. Never forget that Sir, while your Lord and Master, is still human. Why are you using third person speech?? Nevermind, I just couldn't resist. I'll go quietly. [sm=mrpuffy.gif] K.

NorthernGent -> RE: Rules for subs (10/19/2008 5:10:17 AM)
More behavioural norms than hard rules: be nice, be civilised, be kind, be good company, make an effort with your appearance, play by the rules outlined from the off, don't even begin to waste my time with anything remotely approaching gossip and petty sniping........in other words, be a woman with whom I want to spend time.

DomDolf -> RE: Rules for subs (10/19/2008 6:51:21 AM)
Set rules that you can both live with, agree upon and make sense. To anyone suggesting that rules are not needed/wanted because you don't have time to enforce them- If your submissive doesn't break rules then there is nothing to enforce. If you find the rules are structured in a manner that requires that much attention there is a problem somewhere that needs to be addressed. Fix the problems don't drop the structure. Of course this doesn't apply to many people because they just don't think there is a need for structure and BDSM is 100% about the fun. I'm not one of them. Dolf

DesFIP -> RE: Rules for subs (10/21/2008 8:28:01 PM)
Take care of myself, tell him when he's making a major mistake, don't put myself down, don't stay up all night, don't skip meals (still working on that one), come to him with my problems even when he has his own (still working on that one). Basically: communicate with him.

SailingBum -> RE: Rules for subs (10/22/2008 12:42:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyTop yours let you TIE stuff to them?? naaaa It's much better to shove a broomstick up their ass. BadOne

GreedyTop -> RE: Rules for subs (10/22/2008 12:47:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VampiresLair Fox has very simple rules. Ask permission to get things, leave the room, and hug people. Get permission before starting an online conversation with someone new, and permission before talking to someone on the phone aside from family and certain friends. (Blanket permission was given for certain people when we met, to keep from having ot answer yes all the time) And be polite in public, online and real life, unless someone else cops an attitude first. My Fox might be a submissive, but I wont have him being walked on for it. He is allowed to stand up for himself. DV This makes me glad I didnt immediately hug him.. not knowing this it could have been awkward.....

GreedyTop -> RE: Rules for subs (10/22/2008 12:49:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SailingBum quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyTop yours let you TIE stuff to them?? naaaa It's much better to shove a broomstick up their ass. BadOne smack Cats do NOT get broomsticks up their ass..

lunadancer -> RE: Rules for subs (10/22/2008 1:10:29 AM)
[:o] oooooh nooooo..........must not hurt kitties, [:)] they are my friends

Twicehappy2x -> RE: Rules for subs (10/22/2008 4:18:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyTop and my floor is forever covered with mini-me cats... using them as mops would only exacerbate the problem.. sigh I wish I could teach them to sweep.... We give our cat plenty of home made yarn balls. They pick up dust and hair better than a swiffer. Just replace them every few days.

Lashra -> RE: Rules for subs (10/22/2008 4:49:05 AM)
My rules are fairly simple 1. Obey me 2. Contact me everyday to let me know how he is doing. 3. Remind me to take my medications. 4. When we are home alone he is naked wearing only his slave collar. 5. When we are out in a restaurant I order for him 6. He cuts up the meat on my plate or pulls it off the bone. 7. He asks permission to masturbate or to cum. 8. He has to ask permission to turn the radio on in the car. I think too many rules make it more of a job than something pleasurable. ~Lashra

dawntreader -> RE: Rules for subs (10/22/2008 5:25:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyTop quote: ORIGINAL: SailingBum quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyTop yours let you TIE stuff to them?? naaaa It's much better to shove a broomstick up their ass. BadOne smack Cats do NOT get broomsticks up their ass.. [sm=rofl.gif] *i agree - that would soooo not work here! Although i must admit they sometimes fly around here like they have something* up their ass! LOL!**

Sunnyfey -> RE: Rules for subs (10/22/2008 5:30:20 AM)
my rules with my Leather Sir and my Master 1. Dont effin argue with me 2. see rule one (might be a bit of a brat.....)

sunshinemiss -> RE: Rules for subs (10/22/2008 5:45:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MadRabbit quote: ORIGINAL: Venatrix quote: ORIGINAL: MadRabbit One of the mistakes I've noticed quite a few new dominants make is the false connection between "having rules = strong authority" Yep. All the rules in the world won't make someone dominant if they aren't. The more dominant someone is, the fewer rules he or she needs. How about just one? Be considerate. I don't know I necessarily agree with that, but then again I am one of the lone voices on this since I tend to take a more systematic approach to my dominance (I'm one of those guys who's lost in his own little world of plans, rules, strategies, and schedules since I find they are effective tools for accomplishing things in an efficient way). So basically I find a lot of benefit from rules, protocols, and rituals if they are used practically and reasonably (Apparently, judging from the mockery here in response to what I thought was a pretty reasonable question, other people don't find benefit from them or just don't like them because they aren't "COOL") I don't find them beneficial when they are used arbitrarily or to apply some kind of superficial band-aid to a lack of strong authority. Does a lot of rules equate to weak dominance in every case? Nah, it can just mean someone has very specific standards and therefore needs a lot of rules to get those standards met. But...hey...god forbid we implore common sense to make all expectations and standards clear in a nuanced fashion so there is no miscommunication or confusion. That won't be "COOL". [:D] Hey Mad Rabbit, I wanted to let you know that I love love love rules - gives me the structure that I crave and need. I get so confused without them. Now I'm no dummy and I do the whole "what would Master want?" thing, but when I know for sure, I am so much more relaxed and a better servant, and a happier gal. I adore all those rules. I remember once telling someone my rules with a former Master. There were, dozens of them. I was so happy. BTW, I've never considered rules something to break, more like guidance. What good is it to be submissive if I don't actually submit? Well wishes, sunshine

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125