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And then the fight started... - 10/17/2008 4:52:17 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		These are hysterical.. hope they bring a smile to your face today...
enjoy...

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...

======================================================================

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary..

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3
seconds.'
I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started...
=====================================================================
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive... so, I took her to a gas station...

And then the fight started...

=====================================================================

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social

Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license
to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my
wallet a t home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would
have to
go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my

curly silver hair.

She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me'
and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
Social Security office.

She said, 'you should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
disability, too.'

And then the fight started...

===============================================================

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a
nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to
drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she
hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...

============================================================

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road
and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes
you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?

Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT
HAPPY!'

So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

And then the fight started...


_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut

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RE: And then the fight started... - 10/17/2008 5:28:31 PM   
MadAxeman


Posts: 4171
Joined: 8/28/2008
From: UK
Status: offline 		And you being snow white and all....

_____________________________

Hitman for the Subby Mafia

(in reply to Daddysredhead)
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RE: And then the fight started... - 10/17/2008 5:53:46 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		LOL... I prefer "ivory bisque." 

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to MadAxeman)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: And then the fight started... - 10/17/2008 11:46:07 PM   
SlavesKeeper


Posts: 49
Joined: 4/20/2006
Status: offline 		those were good, thanks

(in reply to Daddysredhead)
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RE: And then the fight started... - 10/17/2008 11:48:10 PM   
scifi1133


Posts: 8529
Joined: 3/27/2007
From: virginia
Status: offline

_____________________________

I'm the happy fascist slut.
awwwwwww yeeeeeeeeah
And I see your schwartz is as big as mine.
My heart 10-01-72 / 10-16-09


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RE: And then the fight started... - 10/18/2008 1:20:30 AM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		Glad you got a few giggles, gents. 

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to scifi1133)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: And then the fight started... - 10/18/2008 3:06:34 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
thanks Red


_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


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RE: And then the fight started... - 10/18/2008 6:17:56 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		loved it REd,,,, especially that last one..LOL

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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RE: And then the fight started... - 10/18/2008 6:42:37 AM   
Saratov


Posts: 1716
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

LOL... I prefer "ivory bisque." 


 Is that anything like lobster bisque or tomato bisque? 

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RE: And then the fight started... - 10/18/2008 9:32:08 AM   
BlackPhx


Posts: 3432
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline

Good ones red

poenkitten

(in reply to Saratov)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: And then the fight started... - 10/18/2008 12:04:07 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Saratov

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

LOL... I prefer "ivory bisque." 


 Is that anything like lobster bisque or tomato bisque? 


Lobster bisque is what I become when I go out without sunscreen...  LOL
(naughty Saratov)  

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to Saratov)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: And then the fight started... - 10/18/2008 3:25:27 PM   
Sirandlil1


Posts: 272
Joined: 8/15/2007
Status: offline 		thank you for the smile

_____________________________

A true Master exhibits honor, integrity, honesty, self discipline, personal responsibility and caring for his property.

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Profile   Post #: 12
RE: And then the fight started... - 10/18/2008 10:03:27 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		You're welcome. 

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to Sirandlil1)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: And then the fight started... - 10/19/2008 6:30:31 AM   
amaidiamond


Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline 		Thanks for the giggles

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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: And then the fight started... - 10/19/2008 6:36:19 AM   
lauren0221


Posts: 681
Joined: 8/29/2006
Status: offline 		Thanks for the before coffee, morning giggles, Red:)

(in reply to MadAxeman)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: And then the fight started... - 10/19/2008 6:40:53 AM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		Hahahahahaha........thud


me...laughing my head off.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

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RE: And then the fight started... - 10/19/2008 1:37:04 PM   
AMaster


Posts: 814
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline 		Wonderful!  Thank you.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: And then the fight started... - 10/19/2008 1:45:32 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		Glad you guys enjoyed them.  Even my 83 yr. old dad got a good laugh from them. 

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to AMaster)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: And then the fight started... - 10/19/2008 1:47:14 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		*waves hi to Dad, the Things, and DaddyBoo*

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: And then the fight started... - 10/19/2008 9:33:03 PM   
ericpup


Posts: 72
Joined: 1/2/2004
Status: offline 		I got these jokes in an email weeks ago.  The last one made me laugh my ass off.  Soon after getting the email, I was at a convenience store when a dwarf walked in and bought a pack of cigarettes.  (That much is true.)

I later told my father that when he ordered the cigarettes, I said to him, "Sir, do you realize that these things will stunt your..... Oh, never mind."  He responded, "Why, you tall, fat, son-of-a-bitch, do you think you're funny?  I'll tell you something, I'm not HAPPY!!!"  Then I responded, "Well, which one are you?" 

I thought that he was going to piss himself, he was laughing so hard.

I loved the jokes.

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 20
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