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when a relationship ends - 10/19/2008 1:43:23 AM

kizzy101

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I have just ended a 2 year relationship. We were bf/gf as well as sub/Master. Even though I ended things I can't get him out of my head. I don't want the bf back...just the Master. What should I do???

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RE: when a relationship ends - 10/19/2008 1:47:17 AM

JustDarkness

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kizzy101

I have just ended a 2 year relationship. We were bf/gf as well as sub/Master. Even though I ended things I can't get him out of my head. I don't want the bf back...just the Master. What should I do???

as they are the same.....you won't get just the Master back, because the memories of the bf are connected to the MAster.
Also the reason wy you 2 split up...are in that Master.

As we don't know you or him..and the reason for splitting up.....I have no clue...what you should do.
Personally I find from experience.....to move on...give it a rest..and you will find soem one else in time.

(in reply to kizzy101)

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RE: when a relationship ends - 10/19/2008 2:03:36 AM

kizzy101

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Thank you...you said "out loud" exactly what has been going 'round my head (if that makes sense?) I know I will move on in time...it's just the sex was soooo damn good! lol

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RE: when a relationship ends - 10/19/2008 2:13:52 AM

JustDarkness

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kizzy101

Thank you...you said "out loud" exactly what has been going 'round my head (if that makes sense?) I know I will move on in time...it's just the sex was soooo damn good! lol

lol...

yes. and people can confuse good sex with love...and sometimes stay longer with a person then they should be

The good sex will coem back with Mr. right. It might take soem time..so load your batteries ;)

(in reply to kizzy101)

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RE: when a relationship ends - 10/19/2008 3:55:00 AM

colouredin

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As Just said they are both the same, cant have one withou the other. If the relationship didnt work then for me personally the 'sex' wouldnt be enough of an incentive to rekindle anything. Move on, learn from the experiance what you want from a relationship, take time and then get back out there.

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RE: when a relationship ends - 10/19/2008 5:40:15 AM

natasha66

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Move on - there is obviously a reason you two split. Take a break for a while to heal then move on to better days.

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RE: when a relationship ends - 10/19/2008 7:05:35 AM

tweedydaddy

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Forget him, move on. It's hard but we have all been there, and probably will be there again. Bugger isn't it?

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RE: when a relationship ends - 10/19/2008 7:14:37 AM

yourMissTress

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Break ups are difficult. Once the reasons that you broke up are no longer there for you to deal with everyday, you start thinking about the good things, missing the good times. It's a natural part of the grieving process. Trust and believe that this too shall pass.

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RE: when a relationship ends - 10/19/2008 8:32:43 AM

Quivver

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you do the same thing you'd do if he'd only been a BF.

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RE: when a relationship ends - 10/19/2008 8:38:47 AM

thetammyjo

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You need to grieve.

There is a psychological process of grieving you will work through but you will do it in your own way and in your own time.

There is no shame with turning to your friends for support or getting out there to circulate quickly in the bdsm events and groups though I would caution against playing with anyone for a while as you grieve.

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RE: when a relationship ends - 10/19/2008 9:14:52 AM

Divyacheri

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~fastreply~

kizzy01

You need to take time (as thetammyjo said) and grieve. As a woman we tend to go pink and after the relationship ends stay pink for awhile. We want to remain friends or realize we value something in that relationship and want to keep a piece of that. The reality is that we need to heal and heal for awhile and then move forward.

Even if you went back to him as your master it would not be the same. Find your supports and seek counseling if needed. But get yourself together first. And please...don't jump into another D/s or vanilla relationship for some time. Get to know you again.

< Message edited by Divyacheri -- 10/19/2008 9:16:39 AM >

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RE: when a relationship ends - 10/19/2008 9:37:37 AM

NihilusZero

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kizzy101

What should I do???

Presumably you had good reasons for ending it?

You want the 'Master' back yet follow it up by listing only the sex as a characteristic you miss. So, if the mastery was wrapped up (in near exclusivity) in the sex, finding a new sexually competent top shouldn't be too hard.

< Message edited by NihilusZero -- 10/19/2008 9:38:01 AM >

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RE: when a relationship ends - 10/19/2008 9:48:26 AM

marieToo

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After a relationship ends, it takes time to get the person out of your head. If you ended it, you must have had good reasons, and thought about it before you broke it off.

If you were to get him back, you would most likely find that those same reasons will resurface again.

Give yourself time, and realize that you will get him out of your head, but that it takes a bit of time to do so. You are going through a period of transition and adjustment; being aware of that is your best defense against falling back into a relationship that wasn't good for you.

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RE: when a relationship ends - 10/19/2008 12:13:55 PM

NorthernGent

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kizzy101

I have just ended a 2 year relationship. We were bf/gf as well as sub/Master. Even though I ended things I can't get him out of my head. I don't want the bf back...just the Master. What should I do???

Presumably you want the master because he can give you what you need. Assuming that's the case, drop him a line: "Hi, you're an abysmal boyfriend, but an outstanding master.......I'm available for master activities!..........thanks."

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RE: when a relationship ends - 10/19/2008 12:29:01 PM

BossyShoeBitch

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kizzy101

I have just ended a 2 year relationship. We were bf/gf as well as sub/Master. Even though I ended things I can't get him out of my head. I don't want the bf back...just the Master. What should I do???

Why did you end it?
How did he feel about it? Did you break his heart?
Is what you want truly fair to him and something he would want too?

If you broke his heart and he see this as a way to hold onto you however he can, it would be really selfish of you to ask to be fuck buddies or "play pals".
If not and you guys can both handle it, ask him directly if he would like to be your play pal.

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RE: when a relationship ends - 10/19/2008 1:11:14 PM

SimplyMichael

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Or, buy him a leather hood and just tell him to use your holes as he sees fit...

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RE: when a relationship ends - 10/19/2008 1:52:32 PM

monywildcat

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It is so incredibly hard when a relationship ends, someone wise once told me it is akin to the death of a loved one. But, I am sure that there are reasons that you ended things, there are going to be aspects to your relationship that will be sorely missed. (like that awesome sex) And as painful as it is, you cannot have just the master piece and toss the boyfriend piece. Focus your energies in your work, home life, healing yourself, and bit by bit things will get better.

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RE: when a relationship ends - 10/19/2008 2:01:24 PM

Chi

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I certainly agree with the advice you have just given, being true to the self and honest about it, is always the best course of action. If he is an outstanding master and the passion for his sexual techniques runs as deep as she alleges then the obvious is simply go to him with the truth.

(in reply to NorthernGent)

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RE: when a relationship ends - 10/19/2008 4:54:20 PM

BossyShoeBitch

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Or, buy him a leather hood and just tell him to use your holes as he sees fit...

Didn't the OP remind you of me?

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RE: when a relationship ends - 10/19/2008 4:56:54 PM

SimplyMichael

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That is why I suggested the leather hood.

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