What am I suppose to do?

What am I suppose to do? (Full Version)

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windy135 -> What am I suppose to do? (12/10/2005 3:24:46 PM)
I'm confused because I'm new to the scene and I guess some might even consider me a player (not lifestyle). What I'm confused about is what I want. I have only had one relationship with a Dom. and it was not a serious one. Most people are looking for sub who are willing to give everything to them. I can't imagine doing such a thing. I have talked online with many Dom's and Subs and it just seems like there is no one out there for me... I can't get this part of who I am out of my life. I like to be controlled/dominated and such. It's something I just can't forget about. So may I ask if others have gone through a confusing time like I am right now when they were first discovering the scene. I guess there is nothing I can do but keep learning and hope I will discover what it is I'm searching for. "No one worth possessing Can be quite possessed"

Nathaninki -> RE: What am I suppose to do? (12/10/2005 3:41:10 PM)
Oh My dear just keep looking. There are many like Myself that enjoy leading a newby throught the darkness of uncertainty, training her to learn about herself and her desires, and prepare her to go out and experience them. you are wise to know yourself as well as you do, and to be able to tell that some are not for you. Keep searching...I kn0w that someone is out there to help you. If you need to talk, please do not hesitate to contact Me. Nathan

angelthighhighs -> RE: What am I suppose to do? (12/10/2005 3:42:12 PM)
the neat thing about this lifestyle is there is no one way to do things. but it is my opinion that you take a few minutes and really think about what it is you're looking for within this lifestyle and the type of Dominant you wish. then as you're talking with them you already have it in your mind what you want. be honest with people, if you find yourself more of a bottom (someone that just submits during scening) let them know that's what you are. also, as you grow in the understanding of D/s and also as you find someone that you really have grown to trust....you might be surprised as to actually how deeply you can completely surrender to that person. sometimes it just takes loving, knowing, trusting and the desire to surrender.....

thetammyjo -> RE: What am I suppose to do? (12/10/2005 3:48:43 PM)
I'd say that most people do BDSM either as spice or on a part-time/funtime basis. This lifestyle, "everything," 24/7 is actually quite rare: the people doing it just tend to be vocal and its a powerful fantasy. The only truly important thing is that you and your partner(s) do what makes you both happy. If that's an hour a day, an hour a week, or an hour a year, it doesn't matter. If someone tells you that if you aren't doing it "lifestyle" or "24/7" or calls you a "player" try to ignore them. My guess is that they are covering up their own insecurities by trying to force their ideals onto you.

Cloudz -> RE: What am I suppose to do? (12/10/2005 4:09:28 PM)
Keep looking dear, it will happen the way it is supposed to. In my humble opinion the average person who criticizes the way someone does fill in the blank is usually full of insecurities. Secure people usually allow one to follow his/her own path. There are many paths to the same destination. Just my thoughts

fyreredsub -> RE: What am I suppose to do? (12/10/2005 4:15:23 PM)
unfortunately we learn thro trial and error. be true to yourself and don't go where you aren't comfortable.

mnottertail -> RE: What am I suppose to do? (12/10/2005 4:16:09 PM)
Keep on reading and asking and searching the board and make some friends out here, go to munches (you been to ties, right?) and so on. Discover those things you don't know. Woman, know thyself!!!!!!!!! You are gonna have to, you see; 'cause you ain't gonna make it in photography, cuttin' people's heads off like that. Welcome from a fellow Minnesotan, You will do well. Ron

windy135 -> RE: What am I suppose to do? (12/10/2005 4:50:10 PM)
Thanks everyone. You are right that it's something that will just happen .. probably something I have no control over.. I must just keep looking not only for someone else but I need to keep searching for who and what I'm looking for. Its just nice to hear what others think. thanks :)

Delvin -> RE: What am I suppose to do? (12/10/2005 5:18:35 PM)
We spend half of our life trying to find ourselves and the other half trying to convince others we are found. First and foremost do not attempt to place one or more of the hundreds of labels on yourself that are in this lifestyle. As others have said, read, ask and learn. Time will show you. Welcome to the first steps D

KatyLied -> RE: What am I suppose to do? (12/10/2005 5:30:41 PM)
Welcome. And it's okay to cut your head off!

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