RE: Codes of the "community"

RE: Codes of the "community" (Full Version)

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IronBear -> RE: Codes of the "community" (10/21/2008 6:18:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SaFireRose For the Masters and anyone else that would like to respond to these questions: On a scale of 1-10 (10 being the most important) how important is it to you and that your's attend the BDSM Community munches, play parties and the 101 sessions? How important is it for you to keep up with the latest information and/or just socializing with other' like yourself? If you get very busy and miss a few times do you feel the loss of not making it and if so, what is it exactly that you find yourself missing? Is there anyone who can say they do not attend or do not have anything to do with the local bdsm community? Any mavericks out there that like to blaze their own trail? For many years here and especially when I was practing the Gorean Lifestyle, I was ostrasised by a large part of the local commiunity and still have those detractors who actively attempt disuading new folk from meeting me. I do have a lartgish number of friends in the lifestyle locally who like me were disgusted with the power plays and other childish antics of people who unfortunately happened to be the people with the greatest influence at the time. Happily this has for the most changed and I do attempt to attend workshops, play parties and munches etc dependant upon my availability as well as other family things like finances etc. However I would say that my preference for locating suitable slaves overseas or even relocating elsewhere, is more affected from a lifestyle point of view with the derth of slaves in this country who have an interest if being a service slave.

JustDarkness -> RE: Codes of the "community" (10/21/2008 6:35:15 AM)
I honestly don't even know if we have a community here. And I dont feel the need to interact with them...but propably because it is the "unknown" So it is a 1 for now....but I am open to meet some people....but not every week or so.

NuevaVida -> RE: Codes of the "community" (10/21/2008 7:48:13 AM)
I've gone from being someone with no interest at all to a growing, yet still mild, interest. My former Master was not interested and the man I'm seeing now doesn't have a great interest, but in both cases I was (am) free to go as I wished. My reasons for not going in the past was mostly due to not getting along with some of the key people/influences in my local community, and since (believe it or not) I can be extremely shy when meeting a new crowd of people, knowing I wasn't liked from the outset dissuaded me from attending anything. Now, however, I am more outgoing than I used to be. What I run into though, is that my time is so limited and incorporating anything new into my life can be a challenge. This isn't to say I'm too good for it (I know "too busy for the community" can be interpreted as that); it's just that I work about 50 hours a week now and when I'm not working I'm either taking care of personal stuff (divorce residuals, rebuilding, etc.) or with friends & family. I have a very strong mutual support system with the people in my life, and we're always hanging out together - be it going to movies, cooking gourmet dinners at one of our places, or going away on the weekends. I hardly have time for the man I'm quasi-seeing. And I think, I have such awesome people in my life...with SO much in common...do I want to substitute my time with them to spend time with other people I might have ONE thing (and perhaps more) in common with? I am not at all opposed to meeting a bunch of other cool people, but it's a balance I haven't figured out yet. And in the Spring I'll be returning to school again, so my free time will be even more limited. So basically this was my long winded way of saying I haven't figured out how to incorporate a "lifestyle" community into my life just yet, although I am open to it and even hoping to do so at some point. For that I'd maybe rate it a 3.

Lynnxz -> RE: Codes of the "community" (10/21/2008 7:54:12 AM)
Eh... a 3 maybe? I don't go to the regular meetings, but I like going to the bigger fetish events every once in a while.

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Codes of the "community" (10/21/2008 11:31:22 AM)
Despite being a -profound- introvert, we've been moderately to heavily involved in the local community, and I've been involved not only through munches but as a pastoral care provider for over a quarter of a century... however, this year has solidified a few things for me, and my activity level and even availability for pastoral care have diminished and probably will continue to do so for a while, at least, for the reasons mentioned on the General tab on the Kinkster vs. Kink thread. I'll still be involved with a couple of the fetish-specific groups I'm involved with, but when two-handed flogging starts being defined as 'edge play'... well... I feel like I've moved out of sync with what's available to me right now.

allthatjaz -> RE: Codes of the "community" (10/21/2008 11:43:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CruelDesires Take it or leave it. I can do either. C-D I am probably the same as Cruel Desires (waves to him from afar [;)]) Its nice to catch up with people sometimes and if I am feeling like an exhibitionist which shamefully I admit to being, then I need a club where people will understand..... Probably a 5

LaTigresse -> RE: Codes of the "community" (10/21/2008 11:52:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SaFireRose For the Masters and anyone else that would like to respond to these questions: On a scale of 1-10 (10 being the most important) how important is it to you and that your's attend the BDSM Community munches, play parties and the 101 sessions? How important is it for you to keep up with the latest information and/or just socializing with other' like yourself? If you get very busy and miss a few times do you feel the loss of not making it and if so, what is it exactly that you find yourself missing? Is there anyone who can say they do not attend or do not have anything to do with the local bdsm community? Any mavericks out there that like to blaze their own trail? Belonging to a group, regardless of interest, has never been important to me. I've been a loner for as a long as I can remember.

CruelDesires -> RE: Codes of the "community" (10/21/2008 1:58:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: allthatjaz quote: ORIGINAL: CruelDesires Take it or leave it. I can do either. C-D I am probably the same as Cruel Desires (waves to him from afar [;)]) Its nice to catch up with people sometimes and if I am feeling like an exhibitionist which shamefully I admit to being, then I need a club where people will understand..... Probably a 5 Damn hotty. ;) C-D

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Codes of the "community" (10/21/2008 7:05:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SaFireRose On a scale of 1-10 (10 being the most important) how important is it to you and that your's attend the BDSM Community munches, play parties and the 101 sessions? How important is it for you to keep up with the latest information and/or just socializing with other' like yourself? If you get very busy and miss a few times do you feel the loss of not making it and if so, what is it exactly that you find yourself missing? Is there anyone who can say they do not attend or do not have anything to do with the local bdsm community? Any mavericks out there that like to blaze their own trail? Honestly I go to parties for the play equipment, lack of worry about screams and sounds, and to show off hot clothes. I go to social groups because I like discussing real issues in a forum other than cyber. I love supporting education, events, connections, I love learning from others and seeing the kink world blossom from the musty closet. But honestly, I'm an introvert, find it very difficult to make new friends, feel drained after most munches and could very easily turn into a happy isolated chick. It was months after moving to Austin before we attended our first munch, I just wasn't ready to get into the pool yet.

DesFIP -> RE: Codes of the "community" (10/21/2008 8:09:45 PM)
We don't play publicly. Hardly mavericks, just private. Not to mention the nearest communities are a two hour drive minimum. Makes an evening out very long and tiring especially when you have to be up early the next morning.

Daes -> RE: Codes of the "community" (10/22/2008 9:39:13 AM)
1 Its just not really me. I have no need or desire to really interact with the local community. When I did go, I went out of curiosity, and now my curiosity is satisfied pretty much. My roommate goes as often as he can but Im just simply not really into it. I would get really bored really fast. The first time I went, the first two hours were awesome, then it went kinda downhill from there. It wasnt the people, the people I met there were hilarious and fun but .... I don't do well in groups and watching the play was fun and good but I'm definately Not a voyuer, and I tend to stick with people I know, but if they are out socializing, having a blast, I feel like I'm just kinda "there", so I'm just like "Meh, why am I even here?" So my boredom leads to irritation because I'm just not that social. I don't go to random strangers and spark up random conversations then move onto the next person. Anyways, if I do go again, I'm going to be bringing my own car or bringing someone else with me. I have friends in the lifestyle but it wouldnt have really mattered if they were nilla or not, I prefer hanging out in non-"clubby" environments.

tweedydaddy -> RE: Codes of the "community" (10/22/2008 11:39:11 AM)
Before I attended my first munch in Liverpool I was keenly under the impression that I was a degenerate monster, and that there was no one on earth who could possibly relate to me and the kinky, twisted perverted sexual practices in which I was wont to indulge. I met some lovely sexy kind hearted people who were very warm and welcoming towards me, far nicer than the people I had met in the vanilla word. It was the best thing I ever did, I saw that there were other men like me and that they did not regard themselves as savages. I went as often as I could, but my Wife was soon unable to go as we had big difficulties accessing the locations, as she was in a wheelchair at the time. I still miss not going, that sense of being with your own kind was the closest thing I ever felt to being normal. I can't speak for anywhere else, but the people I met in the community in Liverpool were wonderful. It chokes me that I just can't get childminders etc at the times they meet. We play with a nice circle of people, so I am happy about that, but I do ache for that sense of belonging. It hurts to have felt it and not feel it any more. Too sad, off to put the kettle on, ho hum!

Huntertn -> RE: Codes of the "community" (10/22/2008 7:20:38 PM)
It comes and it goes...I like to keep up with new things..but at the same time if what I knows works, and I get no complants......after all, I don't need my excitement level any higher..LoL, or so I'm told..

HerLord -> RE: Codes of the "community" (10/24/2008 1:34:44 PM)
Seriously? Three pages on this? Well all's well that ends well I guess. To what avail was the question asked. Does it matter to you what others belive? The "trwu" question here is... On a scale of 1-10 how important is it to you?

kidwithknife -> RE: Codes of the "community" (10/27/2008 4:31:31 PM)
2. Kinda. The occasional fetish fair And I don't mind going to parties occasionally, as my slave has several scene friends. I say "kinda" because it's a bit more complicated then that however. I actually know a sizeable number of "non-scene" BDSMers, from other communities, in particular the Goth contingent, the more social of the geek crowd, the fringe politicos and some of the occultist crowd. So to a large extent I simply don't have the time to get heavily involved in another scene. And a fair few of those, myself included, shade from simply being 'non-scene' into 'anti-scene' at times. Which, in my view, is equally a scene. It's simply that the people involved enjoy presenting themselves as rebels and iconoclasts as opposed to something more 'community' orientated.

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