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AAkasha -> RE: Interesting (12/11/2005 11:48:13 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Msfrauline
How do I keep things fresh and exciting? My husband gets bored with the things that I like. I want to be more inventive, but sometimes it feels like it is hard to be creative. I know you are probably thinking that he is just trying to get his way and topping me from the bottom and sometimes I feel that way also. He has a point. He needs variety and wants me to do research. So I am asking fo some help. Anyone have any ideas as to how to get more inventive?
I just do not want there to be this wall between us anymore. I enjoy being dominant over him and it ebbs and flows through out the week depending on what is going on. I need to develop a 24/7 mentality not a 24/4 mentality.
If your "femdom energy levels" work anything like the way mine do, it might be time to have a sit down talk with your husband regarding his expectations.
"Dominating" takes energy. It doesn't matter if you are having a cardio workout with the level of intensity you're paddling or thrusting, or if you are merely giving commands over the telephone. That energy isn't unlimited. There are reasons that sometimes dominating makes you feel energized and alive, and other times it feels flat or forced, or you find yourself trying to just "come up with something" to get him off your back.
Your husband needs to decide if he wants "real" domination from you --- domination that comes from lust and desire and ebbs and flows with your lust and needs. Otherwise, you have to work out a way to "fill in the gaps" with simple tasks, preplanned assignments or other things (trust me, he will not like these...he wants *that femdom energy* -- but he wants it all the time).
What the big risk here is burnout or falling into a bad cycle. If you dominate him regularly out of "obligation" you wil start to develop a resentment about it. When you resent your domination, it "spoils" the entire energy flow -- it basically shuts it off. Suddenly "all" domination feels forced.
He needs to work on some exercises in gratitude and in making *your* life easier for those times in between your natural lust cycles. He also needs to work on ways to spark"your femdom drive by making you take notice of him and decide you *must have him* and turn predatory in a sexual, fun way.
I'd also make sure he is NOT sneaking any training on the side in the way of online Mistresses, pay for play or email exchanges. As "harmless" as it may seem, it's a warning sign when a sub is always insatiable and just wants more, more, more. I've seen the primary femdom get the short end of the stick when what she gives is never enough and he's out looking for seconds on the side.
You do have a very demanding submissive. Keep in mind, you don't have to do anything you don't want to.
Akasha
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