types of submission

types of submission (Full Version)

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physcsdrk -> types of submission (12/11/2005 6:34:55 PM)
I was recently asked if I was a sexual submissive, a natural submissive, or a slave. I know what a slave is and that is not me. However, the person didn't really explain very well the different type of submissives. (I think he mentioned other types, sorry can't remember.) Obviously labels are imperfect things that only apply in a broad sense, but I was wandering if I fit into some sort of category. I have definite limits, I like pain, I am only submissive inside the bedroom. I have definite likes and dislikes in terms of bdsm play but (outside of a few hard limits) am much more interested in doing things that please my master then things that I personally like. Any thoughts?

IrishMist -> RE: types of submission (12/11/2005 6:58:39 PM)
Hmm, labels are evil lol. It's impossible to put a label on something that is so broad ranged, and so different for each person. I have had some refer to me as a bedroom submissive, some as a natural, and yet others clearly define me as a slave. Personally, I am none of the above, yet all of the above. I am just me; this is the way I am, this is who I am. There is no way to label the uniqueness of each individual. Just my opinion though :)

Wolf1020 -> RE: types of submission (12/11/2005 7:53:21 PM)
The basic submissive or slave is the best IMO. To try to define it further to a natural or a bedroom or whatever to me is pointless because to do it effectively you would need hundreds if not thousands of labels to cover everyone who is a sub or a slave effectively into a smaller category. Every sub/slave is different in the end. There are three different broad categories though to me personally for the submissive side of the lifestyle- (these are broad range generals mind you, there are exceptions to every rule) Bottom- To me a bottom is someone who likes to be spanked or other kinky things generally reserved for submissives. Someone only submissive in the bedroom or sexually. Submissive- Well just what it says, someone who consensually submits to someone who is a dominant. To me the main difference between a sub, and a bottom is that the sub lives it more as a lifestyle, a bottom simply does it in the bedroom as a kink. Slave- Basically the same as a sub, but to a more extreme level of submission and surrendering of power.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: types of submission (12/11/2005 8:14:11 PM)
I also define different orientations of a submissive: Control oriented Service oriented Obedience oriented Pleasure oriented A submissive/slave/bottom can be oriented in any one or combination of these. I tend to be control and service oriented.

Sensualips -> RE: types of submission (12/11/2005 8:25:12 PM)
LA, how would your briefly describe those? My immediate thought is to overlap between service and obedience or control and obedience and would be curious as to your definitions.

RolePlayDomme -> RE: types of submission (12/11/2005 8:25:26 PM)
As you seem to imply in your original post, it's probably best not to get too bogged down in the label, but rather simply explore and enjoy. I won't even open the whole can of worms as to whether or not there are "natural" submissives or dominants -- it's simply not a productive discussion, IMO. Typically when a person asks me a similar question, I first acknowledge any appreciation I feel that they want to know more about me...then I express my dislike for over generalizations and labels, and ask them what it is specifically they hope to learn from any answer I might provide. I hope this is helpful!

veronicaofML -> RE: types of submission (12/11/2005 9:15:42 PM)
I tend to be control and service oriented. === yep yep

MHOO314 -> RE: types of submission (12/11/2005 11:59:58 PM)
You are what your Dominant feels you are---there are no cookie cutter definitions in the L/life---imho.

sweetpettjenny -> RE: types of submission (12/12/2005 3:22:17 AM)
oyyyy labels again...I am a slave , simple as that. I do as im told.

ExistentialSteel -> RE: types of submission (12/12/2005 3:32:23 AM)
I tell a submissive type that she is whatever I think she wants to hear.

fyreredsub -> RE: types of submission (12/12/2005 3:48:10 AM)
there is a site,has the diff levels of submission listed...do a search..on threads here or google.my brain is still java deficient. it basically boils down to you are who you are....so you just have to find one that fits you,so that you will respond naturally.

Jasmyn -> RE: types of submission (12/12/2005 5:08:20 AM)
Personally I wouldn't label you as submissive in any sense. My general rules of thumb are Don't get too hung up on the submissive/sub label simply because the person the label is been applied to likes giving up control of their sexual responses and reactions to someone else. Don't get too hung up on the dominant/dom label simply because the person the label is been applied to likes having control of someone else's sexual responses and reactions. Other than basic scene safety and ethical requirements, playing s&m and a bit of whose ya daddy in the bedroom, isn't bound by the same conventions requiring someone ascribe themselves as 'a dominant' or 'a submissive' in order for a d/s relationship to exist. Your kinky...and there's nothing wrong with that.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: types of submission (12/12/2005 6:49:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sensualips LA, how would your briefly describe those? My immediate thought is to overlap between service and obedience or control and obedience and would be curious as to your definitions. I knew you were gonna ask and waited until I was fully awake this morning to try and tackle it. Service oriented- someone who gains fulfillment in a relationship primarily by being of service, by being useful. They want to know how they can make a direct impact on your life by doing things for you. Control oriented- someone who gains fulfillment in a relationship primarily by being controlled. They tend to like short leashes, or frequent leash pulls. They want to know the attention is on them and their direct behavior. Obedience oriented- someone who gains fulfillment in a relationship primarily by obeying. In this case, it doesn't matter so much HOW they are going about this, they could be serving, or pleasing, or being controlled. They like orders, they like rituals, they like being given specific orders and discrete tasks to fulfill. Pleasure oriented- someone who gains fulfillment in a relationship primarily by giving direct pleasure. For these types, they like the immediate smiles. They want the fuzzy yummies and being able to know THEY are the source of that pleasure for someone else. These are not meant to be exclusionary of anything/anyone, nor are they absolute. Most submissives cross over at least in some aspects.

denika -> RE: types of submission (12/12/2005 1:03:11 PM)
It is always intresting to hear how some labels are interpretted. I am a bottom, I'm also a masochist. But there is so much more to who I am. I get a bit confused when I read some of the defintions of a bottom. I definatly like more than just being spanked. I serve my Top inside the bedroom, in the living room, the basement, in public (bet you were all thinking just sex ss) when I am with Him I defere my choices to Him. I don't negotiate scenes before hand. There are safe words but in the long run I'm not there for my own pleasure I am there for His. What does that make me? A submissive? not to the full definition of the word. A slave, nope.I still make my own decisions when it comes to diffrent things in life. A bottom, sort of but I don't play with anyone else. It has been a struggle to try and figure out my place in the scheme of things. There are times where I feel I just don't fit in any where but I think we all have days like that. I don't serve Knight because He is a Dom/Top/Master (pick a title) I serve Him out of respect and trust. Because it brings me pleasure to make His life easier or put that wicked sadistic glint in His eye.[:D] I get the feeling from time to time that bottoms are looked at as the low end of the D/s pond, which is far from the truth, but do any other bottoms feel that way too? denika

IrishMist -> RE: types of submission (12/12/2005 2:12:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: denika It is always intresting to hear how some labels are interpretted. I am a bottom, I'm also a masochist. But there is so much more to who I am. I get a bit confused when I read some of the defintions of a bottom. I definatly like more than just being spanked. I serve my Top inside the bedroom, in the living room, the basement, in public (bet you were all thinking just sex ss) when I am with Him I defere my choices to Him. I don't negotiate scenes before hand. There are safe words but in the long run I'm not there for my own pleasure I am there for His. What does that make me? A submissive? not to the full definition of the word. A slave, nope.I still make my own decisions when it comes to diffrent things in life. A bottom, sort of but I don't play with anyone else. It has been a struggle to try and figure out my place in the scheme of things. There are times where I feel I just don't fit in any where but I think we all have days like that. I don't serve Knight because He is a Dom/Top/Master (pick a title) I serve Him out of respect and trust. Because it brings me pleasure to make His life easier or put that wicked sadistic glint in His eye.[:D] I get the feeling from time to time that bottoms are looked at as the low end of the D/s pond, which is far from the truth, but do any other bottoms feel that way too? denika I said earlier that I was all of those, but none of those. I am just me. If someone else wants to put a label on ME, that's fine, but it does not change the fact that I am still just ME.

fldrkhorse -> RE: types of submission (12/12/2005 4:01:49 PM)
What is a slave? Slave is a label given to a personality that chooses (for their own personal needs) to enter into voluntary servitude. There is a distinct difference between sexually submissive and psychologically submissive. Contrarily, those that refer to themselves as a bottom, slut, or whore are just in it for sex. Sexually passive is not a slave. A submissive is a passive personality that enjoys pleasing, on whatever level. A truly submissive personality is passive in and out of the bedroom. The difference between a submissive and a slave is the degree of submission. Slaves submit 100% whereas submissives have self-imposed limits. For example there may be things they would do in private, but not in public. Submissives make up the vast majority of passive personalities. I used to believe submissives evolve into slaves. Now I believe once a submissive comes to terms with who they are, they can remain a submissive indefinitely. It takes a specific and evolved individual to become a slave. Many slaves don’t understand their feelings, why they are who they are, or what drives them to want to be owned. They will never perfect the art of voluntary servitude, or feel complete, until they do. The first, and maybe most challenging, task of a MASTER is getting a slave to understand that point. Common responses I get when I ask an unowned slave why, is “it’s what I was born to be.” Or “I’ve felt like this all my life.” And the ever popular “can’t explain it, I just know I am.” The unanswered question is why? Not only is it the question, nothing can move forward till it’s answered, understood, or at least explored. A submissive is a passive personality with limits. A submissive is generally obedient and has little say in his life. Submissives generally come with ideas of what they want or like done to them. A slave is one that enters completely into voluntary servitude offering, mind, body, and soul giving up all rights and choices. A boy has been characterized as an uppity slave. Though boys are owned they have rights and some say in what goes on in their lives.

candystripper -> RE: types of submission (12/12/2005 4:16:25 PM)
quote: Hmm, labels are evil lol. It's impossible to put a label on something that is so broad ranged, and so different for each person. I have had some refer to me as a bedroom submissive, some as a natural, and yet others clearly define me as a slave. Personally, I am none of the above, yet all of the above. I am just me; this is the way I am, this is who I am. There is no way to label the uniqueness of each individual. Just my opinion though :) IrishMist ^Slaps a lable on IrishMist's ass; reads "very fine peaches", LOL^ candystripper

candystripper -> RE: types of submission (12/12/2005 4:19:31 PM)
quote: I tell a submissive type that she is whatever I think she wants to hear. ExSteel Ah...building a better mousetrap, ExSteel? LMAO. candystripper

candystripper -> RE: types of submission (12/12/2005 4:26:09 PM)
quote: A submissive is a passive personality with limits. A submissive is generally obedient and has little say in his life. Submissives generally come with ideas of what they want or like done to them. A slave is one that enters completely into voluntary servitude offering, mind, body, and soul giving up all rights and choices. A boy has been characterized as an uppity slave. Though boys are owned they have rights and some say in what goes on in their lives. fldrkhorse i respectfully disagree; i see submission is an active stance. Trying to please Him as much as possible, in and out of the sex/play realm. Building a world with Him that excludes all others, and in which we both find peace and joy. Protecting Him, if ever He needed me to do so. i see nothing passive about submission. i have no desire to turn into a Stepford Wife. i do not see "slave" as more evolved; i think the labels people choose for themselves or in the context of a relationship are like toys; some have their favorites. But it is the relationship itself which must be healthy and work well for both, regardless of the labels. candystripper

fldrkhorse -> RE: types of submission (12/12/2005 4:36:31 PM)
quote: i respectfully disagree; i see submission is an active stance. I said a passive personalility which makes the "active stance" REactive to the DOM's actions, needs, wants, desires, or instructions.

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