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great cop lines‏ - 10/21/2008 12:55:47 PM

beargonewild

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These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around Sudbury...Sgt. L.??:

16. 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through.'

15. 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while.'

14. 'If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document.'

13. 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.'

12. 'Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.'

11. 'You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?'

10. 'Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?'

9. 'Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket.'

8. 'The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. as Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?'

7. 'Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.'

6. 'Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.'

5. 'In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.'

4. 'How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?'

3. 'No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can.'

2. 'I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.'

AND THE WINNER IS....

1, 'You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here.

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RE: great cop lines‏ - 10/21/2008 1:18:11 PM

BlackPhx

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RE: great cop lines‏ - 10/21/2008 3:51:03 PM

bondagelover1950

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{SNORT} *cleaning coffee & tobacco juice out of his beard* Dang, I gotta send these to my kid brother (a ding blasted cop).

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RE: great cop lines‏ - 10/21/2008 4:09:20 PM

CarrieO

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Let's not forget my personal favorite....

When the offendee says the ever-popular line..."Do you know who I am?" The officer replies "Do you know who I am? I'm the cop writing you a ticket."

That was a great list...it will get shared. Thanks!

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RE: great cop lines‏ - 10/21/2008 4:20:17 PM

GreedyTop

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LMAO, Bear! Loved that last one, especially!

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RE: great cop lines‏ - 10/22/2008 4:26:21 PM

Steponme73

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Those were great...it is good to see the men in blue have a sense of humor.

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RE: great cop lines‏ - 10/22/2008 9:19:45 PM

AMaster

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Pricless!

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RE: great cop lines‏ - 10/23/2008 7:45:33 AM

DaddyChess

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LOL.. hillarious...

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RE: great cop lines‏ - 10/25/2008 2:28:06 PM

persephonee

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RE: great cop lines‏ - 10/27/2008 11:04:25 AM

ericpup

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True story, just happened last week. Female in van swerved to avoid a deer on the roadway, went into a ditch, nobody hurt. Of course, she's half on the roadway, with her rear tires in the air. I walked up to her car and said, "Ma'am, I'm sorry, but you can't park here."

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RE: great cop lines‏ - 12/20/2008 2:24:51 PM

Saratov

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Did she see as much humor in your comment as you did?

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RE: great cop lines‏ - 12/20/2008 2:39:51 PM

sirsholly

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RE: great cop lines‏ - 12/23/2008 5:27:00 PM

TCG503

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These are great

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