RE: What Have You Learned?

RE: What Have You Learned? (Full Version)

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housemouse61 -> RE: What Have You Learned? (10/22/2008 4:59:52 AM)
In regard to this forum, i've learned some positives and a few negatives. Following is a short list: i've learned that some who post here are very giving in sharing their knowledge and experience. i've learned that others are incredibly snarky, sarcastic, judgmental and downright mean in their responses. i've learned that some here have an awesome sense of humor. i've learned that some take life and themselves way too seriously. i've learned that people here are just as diverse and interesting as people everywhere else. Imagine that. ;-) Peace favor and blessed be, nikki Property of Cruel Desires

BossyShoeBitch -> RE: What Have You Learned? (10/22/2008 5:16:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Collarme specifically? I've learned that being perceived as a know it all is ok. That's because you are the one person who actually DOES know it all LA! [sm=kiss.gif]

CatdeMedici -> RE: What Have You Learned? (10/22/2008 5:44:19 AM)
I would hope that many of the responses go well beyond life here at CM for that to me would be stronger representation of what people have learned---for My $.02 here is what I have observed/learned: *If they are fucktards out there, passing through the hallowed portals of WIITWD doesn't change things one bit.* *People are desparate to find a sense of community- throwing all common sense, sound judgement and reason out the window.* *Too many people are too willing to suffer at the hands of idiots for all the wrong reasons.* *There are as many variations on a theme as there are snowflake patterns and that is a good thing--far too many people try to force fit a one size fits all.* *As for CM, it still remains steadfast, consistent and the best of the best out there--on any given day you can get a dose of whatever you seek and then some.*

mc1234 -> RE: What Have You Learned? (10/22/2008 6:34:14 AM)
I've learned to take everything written/said with the proverbial 'grain of salt' and then formulate my own opinions.

OttersSwim -> RE: What Have You Learned? (10/22/2008 6:38:03 AM)
Most of my education in BDSM and the community outside of my Lady has been from the CM forums. Honestly, this place and all you wonderful people are a huge part of what has made my entry into BDSM so wonderful! [sm=yourock.gif]

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: What Have You Learned? (10/22/2008 7:02:19 AM)
I've learned a few interesting things since I've been here... 1. I've learned that WIITWD isn't 'fringe culture' any more 2. I've learned that I am still very much 'fringe', and that I may need to re-think my assumed cultural associations 3. I've learned that atheism is a closer neighbor to my own version of spirituality than I had yet imagined 4. I've learned that some people are often so eager to be accepted that they'll turn off their very natures to fit in 5. I've learned that I can't turn off my own nature, no matter how much I want to be accepted, and sometimes that sucks. 6. I've learned that, in the end, none of it matters -- I still have to get up and face myself in the morning, and that's OK.

Padriag -> RE: What Have You Learned? (10/22/2008 7:08:13 AM)
I've learned that 90% of what I see on here is bull shit I've learned that while people in this lifestyle have a tendancy to separate themselves from "vanillas"... they're actually not very different at all. I've learned that while people in this lifestyle have a tendancy to think they are somehow more honest, more sincere, more committed to their relationships and generally somehow superior to vanillas... the reality is most of them are less so. I've learned that people will get melodramatic over the most pointless of things. I've learned that most of the dominants here are actually very insecure I've learned that many of the submissives here are either just looking for a free ride or have a bundle of emotional issues... or both. I've learned that most people in this lifestyle are very intolerant, quick to judge, believe their way is the only right way, all while preaching tolerance, understanding and that there is no "one twue way". I've learned that searching for a companion online is playing very long odds... you've got better odds at the local McDonalds or laundrymat. I've learned that you can be loved and admired one week... and next week rejected and despised... all it takes is voicing an unpopular opinion... so if you want to be popular here remember to go along with the "party line". I've learned how much people love to derail threads. I've learned that you should never, NEVER, EVER talk about overweight submissives or weight loss. I've learned that taking anything here too seriously can ruin your day... and really, why let it. I've learned that while lots of people talk about respecting other's opinions and agreeing to disagree... the reality there are many who love nothing better than a good argument, and don't give a damn about respecting anyone except their own ideals and public image. I've learned that there are a few good people out there worth listening too... and while can take awhile to discern them from all the crap... in the long run its worth it... pretty much like anywhere else in life. I've learned that sometimes long odds to pay off. I've learned that if you don't take anything here too seriously... it makes it easier to spot those few times when you should. I've learned that ultimately... we are all the best authority on our own lives... and we ought to respect our own counsel more than anyone else's. I have seen all kinds of advice given here... some of it complete nonsense, some of it bad ideas, some of it good intentions gone wrong, and some of it good advice... but no one can really know what's best for any of us... except us. Ask for advice here if you want, just never let that override what your own inner voice is telling you. And if you give advice, keep in mind no one is obligated to take it, and no matter how good your intentions... there will always be things you didn't know. And lastly... I've learned the absolute necessity of being able to take or leave this place... its just an online site, don't make more of it than it is. As an old programmer friend used to remind me... in the end its all still just a lot of 1's and 0's.

RealSub58 -> RE: What Have You Learned? (10/22/2008 8:44:47 AM)
Most excellent posts Marie and Padriag What you both said. And still I learn about myself.

unbroken33 -> RE: What Have You Learned? (10/22/2008 8:49:29 AM)
1. Regardless of previous experience, people really do not mean well. 2. Never, ever, send out a general distress call. Predators and bullies will answer it first.

unbroken33 -> RE: What Have You Learned? (10/22/2008 9:03:14 AM)
Oh, one other thing I learned: 3. Predators and bullies are not the majority here. However, the majority are afraid of them and will only offer support through private messaging. True as it is, that one baffles me...

rookey -> RE: What Have You Learned? (10/22/2008 9:09:10 AM)
From these boards I've learnt about the value of empathy. To consider what the point of view of the other must be like. To have some appreciation of how others view the world and what they look like to see in others. That Dommes don't like being treated as fantasy fodder and prefer subs to be nice guys first then subs later. I like to thank you all.[sm=yourock.gif]

VampiresLair -> RE: What Have You Learned? (10/22/2008 9:11:26 AM)
I have learned that no matter what you say or do, someone will always tell you it is wrong. I have learned you are never quite as popular as you are when you are no longer available. I have learned that when people want "advice" that they actually want is for you to tell them what they want to hear. I have learned that the stereotypes for Dommes, Doms and slaves of all flavors are based in fact for some tiny percentage of the community, but accepted as fact for the majority of it. I have learned that people seem to view slaves and subs as disposable, and no matter what problem youre having the advice will be to dismiss them and find someone better. I have also learned about 75% of the time they believe they are the someone better. I have learned that no matter what anyone thinks about how I do things, as long as I am happy I am doing them right. DV

DavanKael -> RE: What Have You Learned? (10/22/2008 9:22:43 AM)
From cm message boards in particular? Well, I am relatively new to them and I have had some really productive experiences where I have felt really understood and I have had others where I felt attacked and wholly misunderstood. Have I played a role in each? Certainly. Have the other people and their own issues, filters, etc. played into that as well? Most certainly. I've learned that cm is a microcasm (Don't feel like looking up the correct spelling at the moment) of the world at large. I have also made somenew friends and acquaintances, which I celebrate. Davan

beargonewild -> RE: What Have You Learned? (10/22/2008 9:25:09 AM)
1. Learned that I am only human and it's impossible to fix all the inequalities in this world 2. Learned that underneath it all, we are all people with human emotions. 3. Learned that I can only show by example, my path is my own to walk.

VivaciousSub -> RE: What Have You Learned? (10/22/2008 10:11:07 AM)
I've learned that there's a whole world of experiences out there that I want to try for myself. I've learned that WIITWD isn't one size fits all. I've learned that my particular brand of awesome is what works for me, but if it doesn't work for someone else, that's okay too!

MsAuthoritarian -> RE: What Have You Learned? (10/22/2008 11:50:10 AM)
I have learned… 1. I enjoy reading anything Rover or LoD (when he is around) have to say; however, I have learned that there are other posters that I also enjoy. 2. I have learned that negativity is going to be in every thread on these boards. 3. I appreciate it when people debate without getting personal rather than expecting everyone to be able or willing to do so. 4. There are some really good people here that I would enjoy meeting real time. ~Ms

ShiftedJewel -> RE: What Have You Learned? (10/22/2008 2:20:31 PM)
*I've learned that some people are lots of fun to debate with and can do so with flair and civility... yes, I'm talking about you Rover.* *And I've learned that unicorns do exist.* *Jewel* *And hiya Tigress... long time no see!*

ExSteelAgain -> RE: What Have You Learned? (10/22/2008 2:53:40 PM)
With time on CM, I became more confident in my knowledge and abilities. It is a college education in bdsm to spend a few years reading the boards. I may not know every technique, but I understand the concepts. I understand domination. After a while I started to feel like I’d heard every post before, but that’s a good thing in a way. I had learned is what it meant. When I read about activities that gave me pleasure, I learned and remembered. It was not so much those trying to teach I learned from but from my peers discussing experiences It wasn’t all roses though. When I tried to follow some posters and learn things, it was a waste of my time. Some posters have great knowledge of bdsm, but that only makes them more foolish in the big picture. (I’m sure some have said that about me, too.) I learned myself and why I react certain ways. I learned self-control and that there is a time to share emotions, too.

oceanwynds -> RE: What Have You Learned? (10/22/2008 3:47:48 PM)
I am learning to relax and just be me. I am learning that I do not do well with labels, and will revert back to not labeling myself. I have learned their are people here that will make me think, some I will agree with and others whose posts just fly over my head, which is fine. I am grateful from day one of entering into my relationship with Sir, that he told me to be aware of those who feel their kink is better then others. This has helped me a lot in Ds rooms as well as here. oceanwynds

yourMissTress -> RE: What Have You Learned? (10/22/2008 3:58:58 PM)
FR I want to thank everyone for their responses. It seems that most people have learned a lot about this particular forum and posting on it. And a few have actually learned something about themselves. I wonder where that difference lies? For those of you who have learned nothing at all about yourselves, why is that? For those of you who have, why is that? And, for those of you who seem to have nothing but negative experiences here, why are you still here?

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