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WhiplashSmile2 -> RE: What is and isn't BDSM/Fetish (10/22/2008 11:14:27 AM)
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Tslaveboy, at times it's best to keep things really simple verses making everything complex. This is one of those times.
There are many people in so called vanilla relationships that are D/s, however they do not identify with or even know much about "the lifestyle". There are many people engaging and doing kinky things that don't identify with BDSM.
Take what every letter of what BDSM represents, if you are doing one or more of those things you are really into BDSM regardless if you indentify with it or not. One does not have to do anything and everything there is.
Kink alone is good enough, D/s alone is good enough. There are just levels of interest and involment for people in all this madness.
Some of us are more involved in these things compared to other people, for us, we have made the choice to identify ourselves in "part" or in "whole" as being into BDSM, or D/s or the lifestyle.
You are trying to place weight upon individuals level of choice and involvement and attempt to Define if they are or are not into BDSM.
I keep it simple, if a person engages in the very least what ONE of the letters of BDSM represents and they are aware of it, and take on an interest BDSM, that's all it takes.
There are many people doing the same twisted things that many of us do, without using any labels or embracing BDSM itself.
Think about about the fact, people have been doing this shit for years long before the concept of BDSM has evolved, or was coined.
I really wish some people would see these things we do as part of or as a slice of Everyday so called vanilla life.
This stuff is a part of human nature and we are simply a slice of it. Other people that don't identifiy with it officially are a part of it as well. Not everybody is into kink or D/s as well.
Some people are into M/s with TPE, and that's great as well. There are so many paths and choices based on personal interests and tastes it ain't funny.
Some people are lost and clueless as to how to combine BDSM, D/s or kink into their everyday so called vanilla life. Simply start looking at things from the BIG Picture. LIFE itself. People have to work, have homes, have jobs, eat food, go to the movies and do many things that all humans do.
You'd swear at times that somebody being involved in BDSM meant selling their soul to the devil, sweaing off what it is to be human, and was living life like there were an alien from another damn planet. We are all human beings.
For awhile when people come into the lifestyle or BDSM, they are somehow confused thinking the Basics don't apply here, but they do.
I Love temporary body art, drawing on the body for instance. To some people this is kinky, for others it's not kinky. Who gives a rats ass, it's something I enjoy and love doing, and it's a part of my life. When something is a part of your life, it is part of your lifestyle.
If you enjoy fucking or being fucked up the ass, if it's part of your life, then it's part of your lifestyle. If you enjoy eating fruit loops cerel in the morning, it's something that is part of your lifelife, therefore Fruit Loops cereal is part of your Day to Day lifestyle as your diet.
If you are the one in charge of things at home, the boss of a relationship, it's part of your life and your lifestyle. D/s is D/s regardless if you indentify with it or not.
It should be obvious that the more kinks and activities you do, that you are more strongly connected with it.
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