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Why the hell do people not get the message? - 10/22/2008 8:11:53 AM

Subductrssss

Posts: 97
Joined: 9/28/2008
Status: offline

I have recieved from a Poly couple more than a few mails, I have told them on more than one occasion I am just not interested. This morning I got a very rude mail from them that went on and on and on and on.................................. ad nausem. And at the end they STILL expressed they wanted to "get to know me and have me join their family"

Now I have nothing against Poly relationships but they are not for me and why in the world would these people keep pursuing me when I have made it more than clear in polite and respectful terms that I am JUST NOT INTERESTED.

What do I have to do to get through to them, I finally today sent them back a likeness in content mail (i.e, RUDE) and told them they were blocked and then did so but I am wondering, why would they continue on such a course with me and from the looks of it, others?

Sincerely,

Marsha

< Message edited by Subductrssss -- 10/22/2008 8:12:37 AM >

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Subductrssss

The reality of the other person lies not in what he reveals to you but in what he cannot reveal to you. Therefore, if you would understand him, listen not to what he says but rather to what he does not say.
Kahlil Gibran

Post #: 1

RE: Why the hell do people not get the message? - 10/22/2008 8:13:24 AM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Subductrssss

What do I have to do to get through to them,

Block emails and discontinue conversation.

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Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to Subductrssss)

Post #: 2

RE: Why the hell do people not get the message? - 10/22/2008 8:17:03 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

Because you perpetuated it by responding. Ignore. Block if you must. But do not respond, not even in kind.

the.dark.

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RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Subductrssss)

Post #: 3

RE: Why the hell do people not get the message? - 10/22/2008 8:19:15 AM

zakkan

Posts: 606
Joined: 4/15/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Because you perpetuated it by responding. Ignore. Block if you must. But do not respond, not even in kind.

the.dark.

Now, now. That won't be polite

< Message edited by zakkan -- 10/22/2008 8:26:59 AM >

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Silence! I keel you!

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Post #: 4

RE: Why the hell do people not get the message? - 10/22/2008 8:19:24 AM

RainydayNE

Posts: 978
Joined: 10/21/2008
Status: offline

you just stop replying. it's pretty easy

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 5

RE: Why the hell do people not get the message? - 10/22/2008 8:22:09 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: zakkan

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Because you perpetuated it by responding. Ignore. Block if you must. But do not respond, not even in kind.

the.dark.

Now, now. That won't be polite

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to zakkan)

Post #: 6

RE: Why the hell do people not get the message? - 10/22/2008 8:25:31 AM

FullfigRIMaam

Posts: 718
Joined: 6/21/2007
Status: offline

After one or two polite replies clearly stating you're not interested, it's perfectly reasonable to use the block button if you never want their attention again... Because if you don't, you'll be doing a lot of complaining on this side about things we've heard before. M

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"touching was and still is and will always be the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence." Erich Fromm

(in reply to Subductrssss)

Post #: 7

RE: Why the hell do people not get the message? - 10/22/2008 8:28:26 AM

RealSub58

Posts: 1073
Status: offline

I dont agree with the advice. Politeness, no matter if someone is overwhelmingly basterdly always demonstrates who the better person is.

Stooping down to their level is not what most people want to do.

The reality of the other person lies not in what he reveals to you but in what he cannot reveal to you. Therefore, if you would understand him, listen not to what he says but rather to what he does not say.
Kahlil Gibran

Marsha, your tag line says much to this. It's what they are not revealing about themselves that you want to refuse,not what they do.

Take courage... be strong and let the couple who you envision standing naked with fingers in their ears give you a chuckle instead of make you angry.

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 8

RE: Why the hell do people not get the message? - 10/22/2008 8:30:54 AM

RainydayNE

Posts: 978
Joined: 10/21/2008
Status: offline

i don't think anyone is saying "dont be polite!"
politeness first, always
but if they won't leave you alone and send you rude emails, there's no fault in blocking them. they've stooped to a low and now it's over =p block
polite doesn't mean you have to stand and take all barrages, whatever happens. =p

(in reply to RealSub58)

Post #: 9

RE: Why the hell do people not get the message? - 10/22/2008 8:32:07 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

So you believe writing a email reply in kind (rude) as the OP put it, is the thing to do?
That writing continiously to being hassled by provoking with equal rudeness is polite?
Just for clarity.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to RealSub58)

Post #: 10

RE: Why the hell do people not get the message? - 10/22/2008 8:34:58 AM

VampiresLair

Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline

The truth of the matter is, as long as you are responding they believe they have a chance to change your mind. They are just looking for the button to push that will make you see it their way. This is similar to what many of us go through when we state we arent looking and someone mails us anyway. They believe they are going to be the exception to the rule and just need the chance to prove it to you.
Write back once, politely and decline. A second email pushing the issue proves they are not actually interested in what you had to say, and therefore are never going to actually be interested in your input. Therefore, a second reply informing them that since they took no notice of what you had written the first time, you would save them the time and effort of continuing the sales pitch and block them.
Both are extremely polite, but there are always some who do not get the point and with whom these approaches are necessary. There is a male sub on here who had mailed me about 7 times while I was away at work because he hadnt gotten the response he wanted. When I replied finally, he didnt get the hint I wasnt interested. So, a second reply mail and I blocked him. The point is when words dont work, they cant argue with the block function.
DV

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Separately we are DiurnalVampire and DVsFox

10/18 Wedding date. 1 year and still blissfully happy

10/13/10 3 year anniversary of his becoming my Fox

Talk impolitely to me, baby - Thanks sunshinemiss

(in reply to RealSub58)

Post #: 11

RE: Why the hell do people not get the message? - 10/22/2008 8:35:42 AM

azropedntied

Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline

Why do some not get a message ? Cuz you have not given them the correct answer they are looking for in the self serving manner in which they seek you in their dynamic .A polite or rude answer of no or no thanks is not what they want to hear and they just do not want to get it .Block and move on .

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 12

RE: Why the hell do people not get the message? - 10/22/2008 8:39:46 AM

AMaster

Posts: 814
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline

I for one appreciate an honest NO THANKS. If someone is not interested, I respect that and move on.

(in reply to azropedntied)

Post #: 13

RE: Why the hell do people not get the message? - 10/22/2008 8:57:10 AM

Subductrssss

Posts: 97
Joined: 9/28/2008
Status: offline

Since I did block them, well that ends the barrage of letters. I guess I posted this more for "discussion" purposes than anything as I did not do a "knee jerk" post, I waited until I was cool and calm and collected once more and had already replied and blocked them.. Okay maybe I should not have replied but then again I was not cool, calm and collected when I wrote the reply (scuffs my foot on the floor and looks ashamed) although......... the mail was not as rude as it could have been I was not the paragon of virtue I should have been. Okay so I learned something from all the answers so far, which is the good thing to do would have not have stooped to the level of even a one line reply in kind to theirs, to simply block. But I still think it's a good discussion topic (grin) and thank Y/you all for Y/your replies and thoughts.

_____________________________

Subductrssss

The reality of the other person lies not in what he reveals to you but in what he cannot reveal to you. Therefore, if you would understand him, listen not to what he says but rather to what he does not say.
Kahlil Gibran

(in reply to AMaster)

Post #: 14

RE: Why the hell do people not get the message? - 10/22/2008 9:00:27 AM

CatdeMedici

Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline

Its no different than someone being the next person after the last free concert ticket is given away---begging is thought to be an admirable trait---pull down the concession window and put out the closed sign.

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I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to Subductrssss)

Post #: 15

RE: Why the hell do people not get the message? - 10/22/2008 9:04:27 AM

MsSarai

Posts: 8
Joined: 6/12/2008
Status: offline

**throwing in my 2 cents:**

I would of done the same. Actually, depending on my mood, would of been ruder. yeah it is stooping to their level, but oh well. Would not have felt guilty, but would have spent extra time meditating, and purification rituals. (considering the amount of negativity that rolls around, it is best to do those regularly anyways.)

(in reply to Subductrssss)

Post #: 16

RE: Why the hell do people not get the message? - 10/22/2008 9:20:44 AM

akisha

Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline

Do the same thing I did with the creepy stalker guy from on here. Don't even open the email just delete it. it shows them you deleted with out reading it.

If that doesn't get the point across block them. Not that hard to figure out really.

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I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to MsSarai)

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RE: Why the hell do people not get the message? - 10/22/2008 9:36:25 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

I'd have said thanks but no.. following email from them would have been quite rude (what? are you fucking STOOPID??), then block.

I've never understood the folks that continue to email after the "no thanks" emails... what.,.are you seriously a maso? SOD OFF!!

LOL

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to akisha)

Post #: 18

RE: Why the hell do people not get the message? - 10/22/2008 9:36:27 AM

WhiplashSmile2

Posts: 526
Joined: 6/11/2008
Status: offline

I've have had a few similar emails in the past. Be it the proverbial male slave that does not get it, that I'm straight and not into men. Even a few couples where the Dom was Bi or etc. Some people seem to want to push limits to engage in verbal humilation as the real deal. Think that's probally what it's about, they are looking to be humilated or enjoy trying to humilate other people in the process.

(in reply to Subductrssss)

Post #: 19

RE: Why the hell do people not get the message? - 10/22/2008 9:43:20 AM

DavanKael

Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline

At least one of the posters on here arguing ignoring things, I've had get personally abusive with me on a thread (That had nothing to do with them) so I find that confusing.
That having been said, OP, if you have no context and relatinship with the folks, I think that your polite replies, then more firm replies make sense. It's annoying to have one's timewasted with people who are just fishing. We try to be patient but it has its limits even for the most gracious.
I've gotten the same mail (Literally, a duplicated e-mail) from a boy in Louisiana. And, that's happened with other folks in the past as well. Initially, I told him that I wished him luck and why had he contacted me (As he clearly hadn't read my profile). When I got the exact same mail again a week later, I told him that if he'd read my profile, he'd be aware of my feelings of use of honorifics when they aren't earned and that perhaps he'd fare better in reading profiles and seeking out suitable partners rather than peppering the list. People have their ways. We can only control our own. You took reasonable and prudent action.
Best wishes,
Davan

(in reply to akisha)

Post #: 20

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