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DrkJourney -> RE: True desire to serve (11/29/2008 6:31:49 PM)
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Hadn't read all of the post as of yet, so if I'm repeating I apologise.
Not knowing your approach, but by just reading your post, are you approaching these women by saying how much you want to serve a black domme or something along those lines?
There is nothing wrong with wanting what you want, but sometimes it's best to keep it to yourself, and just search. She already knows you're interested and that you are open to her, you contacted her didn't you? No one wants to be chosen the same way you'd choose a piece of clothing. I want someone who read my profile and thought we would connect on a human, personal level...not someone who scoped pics and sent blanket emails to all the "ones of a certain color" The same way I don't want someone to email me just because I happen to be in the same area they live in. Doesn't mean things will work out just because we fit "one" of your critieria.
Trust me, a major turn off is getting an email from some guy that has to tell me his black fantasy or how many he's served, etc. And since I have it specifically in my profile NOT to tell me this, it's an automatic "no" when they decide to push it any way. Either they didn't bother to read my profile, or they are clearly not interested in respecting my wishes, so why would I want them?
Unless I ask, I don't want to hear about your ex's, and if I do ask, somewhere down the line, it is "so" not important what color she was. It does not score you brownie points. Be aware that all people are different, even if we are of the same race, hell me and my own sister are two entirely different people, we are not all into race play. I don't like it, I don't want to talk about it, personally it bores me,and I'm sure not going to sit around calling you white this and white that all day.
As for the other (which made me throw up in my mouth a little bit, too), again, not always necessary to mention everything you are interested in, especially up front. Likes and dislikes are discussed at interviews. Good to have them, gives you a basis on what you seek, but present them at the appropriate time, usually when she ask...and you've got to be flexible and be able to separate fiction and fantasy from reality.
Don't go into a relationship with a bunch of scenaros you want carried out. You go in, with your limits (soft, hard, and what have you) as your basis for things you want out of a relationship, but they can not be the end all be all. I'm Domme, and I have to be flexible, it's just being realistic. You are going to her to be trained in "her" vision, not yours. Personally, bathroom time is "my" time, I don't need any help and I certainly don't want anyone fooling about "down there" when it's "my time" [sm=eeew.gif]
you only want weekends? you don't care if she's married? Are you married? Basically, decide what kind of core relationship that you are willing to have, (fulltime, partime, relationship based, etc) then find someone that wants the same thing and don't start blasting because you can't find it. Many like me, no matter what the color, want someone full time and that is available to us when we want them. We certainly don't someone else's man...you going to fault the ladies for that?
Hope this helps, and you do find what you seek
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