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RE: Should a Sub be Allowed - 12/12/2005 1:38:02 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		Once committed to a Master slave relationship, its the Masters choice. If you have chosen a sensible Master he will take into account any health issues you may have. He is also going to take into account your hormonal moods, like it mightnt be much fun to play with a hormonal bitchy cranky slut at some times in the month some Masters might just prefer to leave you alone then, others wouldnt.

i agree with Mernbeth, medical fads come and go and one doctor says one thing, another says another, whats your feeling? Talk it out with your Master then let him decide.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Should a Sub be Allowed - 12/12/2005 3:05:40 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

I was wondering, if there are times that a sub should be allowed off limit times.


this sounds like an excellent question for someone seeking a D/s relationship, regardless of which side of the slash you are looking to be on, BEFORE you make a commitment. will you be allowed to call those time-outs as you see fit or will He be the one to let you know or is it an automatic time-out under certain circumstances? naturally, you will get a lot of different responses here, but the opinion that matters most is the one of the person you are looking to become involved with.

quote:

Discussing things with my Doctor and he stated that during a womans period, she should consider that her down time from sexual activities. And allow her body to cleanse itself, and do any re-adjusting the body feels is time for.


and the next Doctor down the road will tell you that's a bunch of hoooey. considering there is no 100% perfect female model to generate a generic answer-what does YOUR body tell you?

quote:

My question to you is not if you want or prefer sex during period.... but should a submissive be allowed the OFF LIMITS time frame during her cycle. As far as sexual activities go?


it is this slave's understanding that a sub retains a certain amount of negotiatied control, prior to and in certain cases, even after committing to a relationship, so why not? She could even possibly demand OFF LIMITS times for whenever her hormones shift during the month when she is not bleeding, why just limit it to the actual days of menstruation?



Thank you for splitting and answering the question at hand. For it was merely a question I was asking. I know that there are alot of things to be discussed and worked out when meeting someone, agree to commit and actually commiting too.


I would like to think for health issues, no one would ignore the obvious. And would agree to the down time as needed. Be it with any case, not just periods.

And yes, down the road, another doctor will not make this same comment. But I guess the ones I've been seeing over the past 20 years have all attended the same school. Because I have always been told this should be down time. (Not that I ever paid that any mind myself)

I have been in relationships that have been proven that being on a period doesn't mean there's no sex at all. I am multi-talented. LOL And i also know from personal experiances, that once started in play, period or not, things have a way of moving forward.

I find satisifaction in being able serve, sexually or non sexually. My fullfillment doesn't require it to always be about sex. That is why the question asked, during period should a slave be allowed off limits time. Because of the mental and physical changes that do go one during ones period.

The responses of been interesting. I see some agreeing, alot disagreeing. But I see the most answering on the sexual aspects of it all. Maybe i posted the question wrong, I don't know. But what I was looking for, was more than just not on the period side.... should a sub/slave... be allowed off limits time at all ....... as set forth.. before commitment....or even requested after commitment. And no, I don't mean the "I just don't feel like it tonight" either. Because.. LOL.. we all know how well that will go over... LOL

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Should a Sub be Allowed - 12/12/2005 3:26:37 PM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
Your looking for an answer that ultimately doesn't exist as a general answer IMO because its a case by case, individual relationship response.

Every case is different and the only answer is IF the dominant decides there should be down time - it exists. Medical reasons aside and negotiations aside - not because it should occur but because the dominant decides it.

Peace and Love

_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Should a Sub be Allowed - 12/12/2005 3:27:49 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

The responses of been interesting. I see some agreeing, alot disagreeing. But I see the most answering on the sexual aspects of it all. Maybe i posted the question wrong, I don't know. But what I was looking for, was more than just not on the period side.... should a sub/slave... be allowed off limits time at all ....... as set forth.. before commitment....or even requested after commitment. And no, I don't mean the "I just don't feel like it tonight" either. Because.. LOL.. we all know how well that will go over... LOL


It comes right back to what has been said...it DEPENDS ON THE TWO PEOPLE INVOLVED and what they agree upon.

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Should a Sub be Allowed - 12/12/2005 3:50:46 PM   
mstrofsnfulplsre


Posts: 17
Joined: 11/23/2005
Status: offline 		forgot i was still in caps

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Should a Sub be Allowed - 12/12/2005 3:51:48 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		shakes head.... seeing that I am failing to get the question out right..

Thanks anyways for the responses...

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Should a Sub be Allowed - 12/12/2005 3:58:28 PM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I'm prone to UTI's.

pervesangelic


You have my sympathy; that was one of the worst pains of my life. It's been 30 years now and i still remember the agony. i'd rather be burnt, or hit, or anything except a UTI.

i have always heard drinking cranberry juice helps protect you from UTI's. Just read labels; i think Ocean Wave is about 10% juice and the rest flavored water.

<sends pa a cyber hug>

candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 12/12/2005 3:59:28 PM >

(in reply to perverseangelic)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Should a Sub be Allowed - 12/12/2005 4:08:35 PM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I was concerned about a possiblity of heavy bleeding. During periods with heavy bleeding, I will use a tampon, super maxi pads and an adult diaper to keep rivers of blood from pouring down my legs. I will use these 3 items together as a combination when this happens. I also get very sick when this happens too. I do not get a warning either as the flow can start off very light and then get super heavy suddenly.

dreamtiger61


There are forms of birth control available now which eliminate all periods; or reduce them dowm to 4 a year. If it were me, bleeding this heavy would have me seeing the Ob/Gyn and getting che checked that all is well; then asking for the birth control which eliminates periods.

i kniwwell the heavy bleeding and sever cramops; as i got older they both got worse. Nowadays when i do get a period it's a time to stay in bed and change tampons every 60 minutes or less.

It's certainly not boring, being a woman.

candystripper

(in reply to dreamtiger61)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Should a Sub be Allowed - 12/12/2005 4:13:54 PM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

The responses of been interesting. I see some agreeing, alot disagreeing. But I see the most answering on the sexual aspects of it all. Maybe i posted the question wrong, I don't know. But what I was looking for, was more than just not on the period side.... should a sub/slave... be allowed off limits time at all ....... as set forth.. before commitment....or even requested after commitment. And no, I don't mean the "I just don't feel like it tonight" either. Because.. LOL.. we all know how well that will go over... LOL

truesub4u


This is interesting; i would not have thought of it before you mentioned it. i have lived alone for many years and strongly suspect i would need time alone -- in my bedroom, but preferably in the house -- to recharge my batteries and collect my thoughts. TY for bringing this up.

candystripper

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Should a Sub be Allowed - 12/12/2005 4:15:53 PM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u

I was wondering, if there are times that a sub should be allowed off limit times.



I can only say that for me, partially because its just the dynamic we find ourselves in, and the way I just find myself relate to him naturally that I don't think I could have off limit times. Its just the way we relate to each other and are with each other.

quote:


My question to you is not if you want or prefer sex during period.... but should a submissive be allowed the OFF LIMITS time frame during her cycle. As far as sexual activities go?


No.

C~

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Should a Sub be Allowed - 12/12/2005 4:27:30 PM   
fldrkhorse


Posts: 158
Joined: 11/5/2005
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		This sounds like the question is more should there be a down time rather than why. For me I've always had a down time, for whatever period (no pun intended). It is a time the sub can look forward to as "their personal" time to do with as they please. It cleanses the spirit just as it cleanses the body. It helps unwind and refocus. This mainly came from my need to have my space, to cleanse my spirit. I have never intruded in my subs personal space or on thier personal time. I believe everyone needs time to withdraw, cleanse, and recharge thier batteries. That's what works for me.

_____________________________

I'm not where I need to be, but I'm better than I was yesterday.

Namaste, I honor the divine in you

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Should a Sub be Allowed - 12/12/2005 4:48:12 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fldrkhorse

This sounds like the question is more should there be a down time rather than why. For me I've always had a down time, for whatever period (no pun intended). It is a time the sub can look forward to as "their personal" time to do with as they please. It cleanses the spirit just as it cleanses the body. It helps unwind and refocus. This mainly came from my need to have my space, to cleanse my spirit. I have never intruded in my subs personal space or on thier personal time. I believe everyone needs time to withdraw, cleanse, and recharge thier batteries. That's what works for me.


BINGO!!!!!

I knew someone would get the question. I sometimes have a hard time spelling things out on here. But someone was bound to figure out exactly what I was trying to ask.

Bows respectfully..... thank you.... thank you.



(in reply to fldrkhorse)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Should a Sub be Allowed - 12/12/2005 5:09:55 PM   
ExistentialSteel


Posts: 676
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u


quote:

ORIGINAL: fldrkhorse

This sounds like the question is more should there be a down time rather than why. For me I've always had a down time, for whatever period (no pun intended). It is a time the sub can look forward to as "their personal" time to do with as they please. It cleanses the spirit just as it cleanses the body. It helps unwind and refocus. This mainly came from my need to have my space, to cleanse my spirit. I have never intruded in my subs personal space or on thier personal time. I believe everyone needs time to withdraw, cleanse, and recharge thier batteries. That's what works for me.


BINGO!!!!!

I knew someone would get the question. I sometimes have a hard time spelling things out on here. But someone was bound to figure out exactly what I was trying to ask.

Bows respectfully..... thank you.... thank you.


So it is mental and emotional, instead of being a physical matter?


_____________________________

For those who are like Roman Candles leaving bright trails in the night sky while the crowd watches until the dark blue center light bursts into magnificent colors and the crowd goes, ahhhhhhhhhh.

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Should a Sub be Allowed - 12/12/2005 5:47:53 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u


quote:

ORIGINAL: fldrkhorse

This sounds like the question is more should there be a down time rather than why. For me I've always had a down time, for whatever period (no pun intended). It is a time the sub can look forward to as "their personal" time to do with as they please. It cleanses the spirit just as it cleanses the body. It helps unwind and refocus. This mainly came from my need to have my space, to cleanse my spirit. I have never intruded in my subs personal space or on thier personal time. I believe everyone needs time to withdraw, cleanse, and recharge thier batteries. That's what works for me.


BINGO!!!!!

I knew someone would get the question. I sometimes have a hard time spelling things out on here. But someone was bound to figure out exactly what I was trying to ask.

Bows respectfully..... thank you.... thank you.

My answer remains the same.

In my relationship as a slave, I had no "off" time. He could have called at 4 am, he could have called in the middle of the workday, he could have called in the middle of a date where he knew I was having sex and a scene with someone else.

That didn't mean he often or ever DID those things...but he could have and we both knew it.


(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Should a Sub be Allowed - 12/12/2005 7:31:23 PM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline
quote:

PMS.. Prime Murder Suspects LOL

My question to you is not if you want or prefer sex during period.... but should a submissive be allowed the OFF LIMITS time frame during her cycle. As far as sexual activities go?


Prime Murder suspects (or victems) Yup sounds about right and i was laughing my butt off over here. As i tend to go from being on a rampage and trying to shred anyone i see, to being all sweet.

No, i dont think there should be "down time" but i think there should be "locked in a box" time. You know the Native Americans had it right when they sent their women off to a seperate tepee for their menses.

dum dum de dum.. you know its coming when a woman just sits there and looks at you. that silent evil stare that says "i'm going to throttle you until your eyes pop out"

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Should a Sub be Allowed - 12/12/2005 8:16:26 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RiotGirl

quote:

PMS.. Prime Murder Suspects LOL



dum dum de dum.. you know its coming when a woman just sits there and looks at you. that silent evil stare that says "i'm going to throttle you until your eyes pop out"


I saw that PMS thing last night in the humor section of forum... lol... about died laughing over that myself...

But I love the rest of your post as well. Though i may never act.... the mere thought of knowing the look... priceless........ LOL

(in reply to RiotGirl)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Should a Sub be Allowed - 12/13/2005 1:20:16 AM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
People understand the question - it is that you either do not like the responses or you don't get them - they all seem exceptionally clear to me.

Peace and Rapture

_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Should a Sub be Allowed - 12/13/2005 4:39:48 AM   
harlyslut


Posts: 3
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		As to your question: Am I off limits during my period? No.
Would I be if I wished to be? Perhaps.

My partner, as someone who loves me and cares about my mental and physical health, leaves the decision of whether I am comfortable with having sex during a stressful time like my period up to me. If I don't want to, for whatever reason, I can let him know and he will take what I say into consideration.

Should a dominant not use you during your period? I don't know. Everyone's different. I'd say that if it is a strain on your mental or physical health, then your dom should back off. But in any case, it's the dom's choice.

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Should a Sub be Allowed - 12/13/2005 4:45:09 AM   
LadiesBladewing


Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline 		I think I answered this pretty clearly in my earlier posts, but just in case... There are reasons that I would consider having someone -else- decide that one of my servants needed down-time (from hir counselor to hir doctor, to hir spiritual guide), it is also possible that I (or my mate) would decide that a particular servant needed some time to re-group. However, in our household, it would not be something regularly scheduled or something where the servant would get to decide when xhe needed down-time.

That's not to say that most people don't need some time to regroup themselves -- just that in our household, the Owners are the ones who make the decision about when that time is, and how it is scheduled.

LZ


quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u

shakes head.... seeing that I am failing to get the question out right..

Thanks anyways for the responses...


_____________________________


"Should have", "could have", "would have" and "can't" may be the most dangerous phrases in the English language.
Bladewing Enclave

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Should a Sub be Allowed - 12/13/2005 10:19:20 AM   
luvdragonx


Posts: 388
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		As an aside, and from personal experience, there are some health benefits to allowing uninterrupted flow of your menses. The PH of the blood can kill a lot of troublesome organisms like bacteria and candida.

As to the question of time off, I would say yes, for the same reasons many have mentioned here. Taking the time to focus and reassess is important and healthy. I believe there are some people who are able to do that without a break in the routine, however, so time off for them would be a wasted exercise.

_____________________________

Never Without Love

(in reply to LadiesBladewing)
Profile   Post #: 40
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