Padriag
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quote:
ORIGINAL: stella41b
She referred to this as 'the dominant within' and it was a way of working towards control and discipline. I was required to adopt some of her character traits, her methods of self-expression, her tastes, preferences, and to work at making them my own and working them into my inner nature. She felt that submission was just like obedience, it had to be absolute, unquestioning, non-negotiable, and to come from within. She was looking for me to be totally submissive and obedient to her will, but also to carry a sense of dignity, of pride and honour in my submission. She insisted that I dominate some of her paying submissives and slaves, and she trained me to be a dominant with a small 'd', as no more than an extension of my submission. She wanted me as an alpha type female slave and wanted me to be able to indepedently make the right decisions and choices through having 'the Mistress within'.
What you describe here is called, in behavioral psychology, "modeling behavior". Its a primary method of teaching sometimes referred to (if you'll pardon the particular imagery) as "monkey see, monkey do." Whether or not you actually learned to think like her I cannot say as I don't know her and can make no comparative analysis. However, I suspect that you only learned to model some behaviors, while remaining unaware of other aspects of her thought processes... in otherwords, you learned to mimic and behave like her in specific circumstances and that may very well have given you insight into some of her thought processes within, and as they relate to, those specific circumstances. We all experience this to some degree, with our parents, our friends, anyone we closely associate with.
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She saw this as a more preferable model of service than command and service. This taught me to understand authority transfer as a stage in the relationship and not something which happens continually throughout the relationship. Even today I feel as a submissive to require an external source of discipline to be a weakness and also that my control of myself should be the same as any control a dominant would want to exert over me through their own actions and influence, so that irrespective of whether I am with them or away from them I am under their control and living, acting, etc within predefined set limits established by both and something to which I as a submissive commit myself to voluntarily.
Whether it is "weak", "good" or "bad" is a subjective judgement. Personally, I would subjectively say the model you describe would be one I would find preferable. However, a better way to look at it is as to whether any specific "mode"... whether requiring external control or not or anything else... is to ask whether or not it achieves a desirable end or not. If it does, we might call it "good"... if not, it might be called "bad"... but these are subjective descriptors that apply only so long as the circumstances which produced the behavior continue to exist. When those circumstances, or goals, or needs change... what we deem good or bad behavior may change as well.
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Now we have often heard of authority transfer, but what about thought transfer, emotion transfer, energy transfer? Have any of you ever experienced something like this? Is it something you practise in your relationship?
Please feel free to share experiences, thoughts, opinions.
I don't see thoughts or emotions being transfered... I see them being mimiced and copied... or modeled if you want the technical term. We so often in life learn by copying what we see others do. Whether that's learning a job skill by watching someone already skilled, or a submissive learning a particular behavior or complex of behaviors by observation. Its something many dominants ought to keep in mind. One of the more effective ways to train a submissive is by example. That is, suppose I wanted a submissive to clean my house in a particular way... one method would be to clean it myself as I wish it to be cleaned while the submissive watches and perhaps helps... and then have them copy the behavior while supervised, correcting where necessary, until the behavior is learned. Course that gets a little more.... ummm... challenging... if a straight male dom wants to teach a female submissive to give a BJ. LOL
Thought provoking post, and one that illustrates a number of other points not addressed.
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Padriag
A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer
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the dominant within as a path to control and discipline - 
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